parenthood

When children are not our "mini me": accepting your child as they are

When kids are not our “mini me”: accepting your children as they are

When you become a parent, I think it’s natural to have expectations and preconceived ideas of what the little person you have created is going to be like. Imagining the future and what that could look like is perfectly natural. But as they grow, you begin to see them become this little person who is unique and special in their own ways. At that point, you should let go of the ideas and expectations you had in your mind at the beginning…

I took my daughter to therapy with me

I took my daughter to therapy with me

I try to speak openly about my battle with depression, and it is the time of year where I tend to be at my worst. This season is no different, and the last few weeks have been a struggle to accomplish my day-to-day tasks. Still, even with my attempts to be open and unashamed of my mental health, it was hard to bring my daughter to therapy with me. I never had the intention of bringing her. However, I had my usual therapy session scheduled on one of her approximately 148 snow days this year. My first thought was to cancel the session, but I realized the only reason I was going to do this was some ambiguous sense of discomfort…

How do I know if I want a baby or just want to experience pregnancy?

How do I know if I want a baby or just want to experience pregnancy?

I am 28 and I am in a serious relationship and I have the strong urge to have a baby. However, like this woman, I feel I am more interested in the feeling of being pregnant and giving birth than actually being a parent.

I am actually afraid I won’t be a good parent at all because I won’t be able to cope with the responsibility. But I ask myself, how does this make sense with my current, very raw urge to be pregnant?

A mom's mental load: embracing and forgiving my forgetfulness

A mom’s mental load: embracing and forgiving my forgetfulness

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgetfulness and mental load. I had a boss at work who constantly referred to freeing up your “psychic space” as often as possible. Much like defragmenting your computer in order to free up memory. I have always been considered “forgetful” — even before I had a baby. During pregnancy, I had the luxury of blaming things on “baby brain.” Now that my daughter is crawling, my ability to keep up with everything in my brain seems exponentially worse.

Here are some of the more serious things I’ve forgotten this past month…

A love letter to my postpartum angel, my sister

A love letter to my postpartum angel, my sister

I never had much of a meaning for the term “angel” until my sister arrived in my bedroom at five in the morning after a seven-hour drive to be by my side right after I had just given birth for the first time. I felt guilty for pulling the alarm, but I was scared and confused and anxious — and she got it. She has two kids of her own, a partner, and a crazy work schedule… but she was there.

Motherhood: my most difficult rite of passage yet

Motherhood: my most difficult rite of passage yet

Five years ago this happened. I thought, “Oh, fuck. What have I gotten myself into?” The look on my face says it all. The postpartum depression hadn’t yet kicked in and I was trying to wrap my brain around this new reality. What I didn’t know was that I was about to undertake the most arduous and difficult rite of passage of my life. Parenthood.

The Mom Tribe: as a mom, you are never alone

The Mom Tribe: as a mom, you are never alone

When I was pregnant 11 years ago, I knew I was clueless. I was young and naïve and really didn’t have the slightest idea what being a parent would entail. I don’t think I could even comprehend past diapers and breastfeeding. I read every book that I could, studies and research, and all the information I could to be prepared for one of the biggest journey’s of my life. None of that helped. Nothing can prepare for what life as a mom is like. I remember the day the nurse put this little guy in my arms and that was it. My heart filled up. I looked into those eyes and knew my world was no longer just my own.

My purpose found me. And I found the Mom Tribe.

How I make it work as a dwarf parent

How I make it work as a dwarf parent

Being a dwarf parent has its own challenges, as I do some things differently in comparison to an average height person. There are also situations where I cannot always manage. Often I can be hard on myself and feel down about the fact I wish I could do more in the way of being able to pick Zelda up and carry her around when needed. I’m blessed to have my wife’s patience, as she reassures me that I am doing enough.

Here are a few things that we do to make it easier on everyone…