False dichotomies: What if the opposite of trying too hard isn’t being lazy?
What’s the thing that you MOST identify with? If you had to pick one quality that most defines who you are and everything you do, what would it be? And then what’s the opposite? And then what if YOU’RE TOTALLY WRONG ABOUT THAT?!
Here’s the favorite thing I learned at my midlife crisis workshop…
Building an independent daily spiritual practice
For me, my daily spiritual practice is a pretty personal, private thing. It makes me a little squeamish to share what I’m doing, but I’ve invested a lot of time into developing my personal spiritual practice this year, and so maybe sharing what I’m doing will be interesting to other folks on their own solo spiritual journeys…
Hidden Blessings: Dispatches from the midlife trenches
This weekend I am doing one of the most cliche things I’ve ever done: I am going to a midlife crisis workshop. Let me pull back and say it even bigger: I am a white divorced 42-year-old mom, and I am going to a midlife crisis workshop. I built a literal empire on offbeatness, but the current reality is pretty fucking stereotypical: just a confused midlife white lady going through a midlife crisis, here! NICE TO MEET YOU.
The sacred jack-off: taking masturbation to a whole new weird level
I was talking to a married friend recently, and she was all, “Look, it’s cool that so many people are exploring forms of polyamory, but that’s not me and that’s not my marriage. I want to find new ways to expand my sexual experiences that AREN’T other people.”
And I was all, “Fuck yes — have you tried doing, like, a sacred jack-off?”
And she was all, “Did you make this up?”
And I was all, “Pssht. No.”
What I’m learning from dancing poorly
Inspired by a local dancer’s athletic performance in a show I saw years ago, I asked her if she would teach me some stuff. She said she would, and then I cried a lot because it’s really hard looking stupid and learning new things. METAPHOR ALERT!
Memoirist ethics, aka how to write your story without being a dick about it
A reader asks Ariel: “As you write your memoir following your divorce, how do you write about it honestly while also protecting your son and (if you even want to) your ex-husband?”
Scrubbing a stranger: my twist on Tinder’s disposable dating culture
I went on a Tinder date with a heartbroken, griefstricken stranger. There was no chemistry, but there was clearly… something.
So for our second date, I did something weird.
Sleep hygiene: protecting your sleep and your sanity during an information war
A friend mentioned that in order to combat her news-triggered anxiety, she was focusing on creating nighttime and morning routines to help protect her time in bed as precious and not to be fucked with. Basically, she’s making rituals to protect the sacred space of FUCKING SLEEPING.
This is what’s known as “sleep hygiene,” and of course it’s important all the time… but maybe extra important during times like these, when the cultural anxiety is through the roof. You can’t get shit done if you’re exhausted. Sleep is crucial.