Happy Star Wars day! May the Fourth be with you, and may you get as big of a kick out of these new Star Wars kitchen goods and appliances as I did.
Lightsaber Blender, BB-8 Waffle Maker, Death Star Popcorn Machine… Star Wars word salad this is not. They are all actual products that exist on the interwebs for you to purchase. Check these out:
Lightsaber Immersion Blender
As Think Geek puts it: “A more elegant blender for a more civilized meal.” One could really fuck up a kale smoothie with this bad boy. And it comes in red or blue. HOW DID THIS JUST GET INVENTED!? I thought something like this would cost a million dollars — but it’s seriously just $29, and it has good reviews!
BB-8 Waffle Maker
You should already know by now that I’m OBSESSED with my Death Star Waffle Maker. But now there’s this BB-8 waffle maker, and I’m torn. It’s like having a free half-a-waffle attached to your normal waffle.
Stormtrooper Silicone Oven Mitt
Lord knows Stormtrooper hands aren’t good with lining up shots, but maybe they’re a whiz at taking cookies out of the oven. Who knows!? Slip this fucker on your hand and channel all the power of the Dark Side to… touch hot things and not get burned. It also comes in Darth Vader, so you can use the force on your baked goods.
Death Star Popcorn Machine
Speaking of hot things… I had no idea that there was a Death Star Popcorn Machine where the top half of the Death Star conveniently doubles as a popcorn bowl! The real Death Star may have had a major design flaw, but this puppy is PERFECTION.
TIE Fighter Gas Grill
This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen: It’s a portable gas grill shaped like a TIE fighter, with a cast iron cooking grid that actually sears “Star Wars” into your meat, AND a custom TIE Fighter analog thermometer to make cooking easier than bullseye-ing womp rats in your T-16, back home. And the wings fold out for helpful food prep space! I’m not even mad that it’s $400, because to me this thing is priceless.
Star Wars Geeki Tikis
If you follow us on Instagram, you may have already known that these exist. And your life was all the better for it. But Think Geek just came out with all new versions! The C3PO and the Ewok are magical.
The prettiest Star Wars mug of all time
I’m gonna end on something pretty, and I’m gonna let Think Geek explain this one:
FOR THAT BLUE MILK LATTE
All sorts of Star-Wars-themed latte art has popped up over the last few years, and this is the perfect mug to showcase it. This white jumbo latte mug has AT-ATs in shades of mint stomping around the bottom under a sky that’s snowing gold hearts. There’s one adorable pink heart, and the handle is gold. Basically, you cannot get more adorable than this. Unless you put a corgi in a Darth Vader costume. And that doesn’t get you any coffee, now, does it?
No, a Corgi in a Darth Vader costume does NOT get me coffee. Instead, the internet has fetched me something that gets me more hyped than caffeine: Awesome Star Wars shit I didn’t expect to see.
Thank you, Internet, and Happy May the Fourth.