Pervertible: my exercise equipment’s sexy secret use

Guest post by Ms. Elizabeth

pull-up-bar-secret-use

Oh lord, I hope my father never reads this post, or else he’ll find out that he gave my partner our favorite pervertible without even knowing it.

See, my partner and I discovered that this gifted and mostly unused chin-up bar, is actually an incredibly useful bedroom device. It’s called the Iron Gym Total Upper Body Workout Bar and whoo boy is it EVER a “total body” workout, if you know what I mean.

How? Well, use your imagination…

  • It’s like having a swing attached to the ceiling, without having to install an ACTUAL swing on your ceiling.
  • For the BDSM crowd, this little thing is perfect for tying up your partner in a standing position for whippings and all kinds of fun teasing.
  • For the couples that wanna do it standing up in all sorts of positions, this thing helps you get leverage.
  • You can lift yourself up and put all your weight on your partner, without actually putting ALL your weight on your partner.
  • Your guests will never know that the chin-up bar hanging in the door frame is giving you guys a workout… in a different way.

UPDATED TO ADD: click here for stick-figure illustrations.

And to top it all off, it actually is a great workout! Oh, and these chin-up bars come in all shapes and sizes for all door frames, and they don’t have to be screwed-in to be screwed on (instant rimshot).

So, tell me, what are YOUR favorite innocuous items that do double-duties?

Comments on Pervertible: my exercise equipment’s sexy secret use

    • Word. My mom got me a wedge pillow in college so I’d have something to lean against while I studied on my dorm bed. I fucked so much over that thing that after awhile I felt really uncomfortable if visitors came and used it as an actual pillow.

  1. But… how… I’m failing to visualize how it’s being used, I think. With it at the top of a doorframe, you’d have to have a fair bit of arm strength, right? I NEED DIAGRAMS. Hahaha.

    Anyway, the term the BSDM crowd would use here is “pervertibles”–items which seem innocuous to visitors but which have wholly naughty uses for their owners.

    A word to the wise: sanitize. Items which have SFW uses occasionally get picked up and used by your guests. And, oh God, the awkwardness is unbearable.

  2. I love it! Now I want one. My husband and I are lovers of wine and we had quite a bit of fun using a suctioned wine stopper. We also enjoy going into kitchen shops, ikea, whatever, and finding pervertibles. I love that word. I feel complete having a name for these things!

  3. I now have a word to describe all of my items! I agree with Samantha…I now feel complete!!! I actually wasn’t sure if there were that many people who used normal items for other (*wink wink*) uses.

    I have found my people. Offbeat Community FTW.

  4. I have an OM Gym that is intended for doing yoga inversions but is totally perfect for anti-gravity sex. Ottomans and physio-balls are fun too.

    I like that pervertables could be anything, like clothespins, candles, feather dusters. Seemingly innocuous items can have a whole kinky life of their own. I’ll never look at a spatula the same again!

  5. Rob, clothes pins are a yes, haha, our house mates have no idea. πŸ˜‰

    I got the craziest wild grin on my face when I saw this post. I have had one of these for years, and unfortunately our current house has very weird door frames. Our new one however, will be much beter. For its originally intended purposes, it is great, and I just can’t believe I never thought to use it in this wonderful way!

    The instructions also suggest using it on the floor for push-ups or dips, hmm, time to work on the ‘pervertible’ version of that….

  6. We have this enormous walk-in closet in our bedroom. This closet has its own ceiling light and switch and two heavy duty, bolted-in metal shelves with horizontal bars for hanging clothes.

    One shelf is exactly the right height for being tied to while kneeling and also for sitting on. The other is exactly the right height for being tied to while standing or sitting on the first shelf.

    Much joy has come from this closet. I am going to miss it very much.

  7. I am so damn glad that someone posted this! EVERY TIME I see an ad for it on TV I turn to my S-O and our roommates (We’re all on the BDSM curve someplace.. and various spots on the gay/straight curve as well.. huh, my ousehold is kinky….anyway) Every time an ad for one of these come on tv we all look at each other and say things that sum up to “They HAVE to know that these aren’t geettting used for exercise… they HAVE to… LOOK at what he’s doing now! How does that have anything to do with fitness? ‘yes we call this the totallynot-having-butt-sex, honest’ exercise. Do 300 reps. then clean up.”

  8. HAHA!!!! HOLY CRAP! Today our “Iron Gym” got this kind of workout and I was thinking . . . Damn, is anybody else doing this! IT IS AWESOME!!! LUVIT πŸ˜‰

  9. The best is buying a dog collar at the pet store, having the cashier ask if you have a new puppy…then you can look her right in the eye and say, “No, it’s for my girlfriend.” (My hubby got to say this to a clerk when we first started dating!)

    Most of the exercise equipment mentioned is also sold on “naughty” websites/stores…for more money. Buy the wedge pillow for “sleeping” and save money!

    Finally…does ice cream and cool whip count as a pervertible?

  10. haha my ex got almost all his ‘equipment’ from the hardware store. Real kinky ppl know how to MacGuyver it better than Richard Dean Anderson.

  11. I can’t believe I haven’t seen this post before – and I apologize for being late to the party, but no one has mentioned this and I can’t believe it – EXERCISE BALL. Y’know, the big round bouncy ball that some people sit on for good posture or core strength or something? Anyway, we have one and we find it to be a good/fun prop. I mean, it takes a little more energy and coordination, but is a good way to mix up positions and angles. When we’re not feeling lazy about it.

  12. hello all
    am new to all this, (sort of) but as im single at the moment i am dying to try it out with the next lucky fella that graces my doorway :-)) any more tips for me? xx

  13. wow, this post has me thinking! me and the misses don’t do a lot of “freaky” stuff, but i know we are both willing to try some new stuff! we have a vib or two and a dildo, all of which does not get much use, and a set of wrist and ankle straps that came with a blind fold that have never come out of the box! i know i don’t really know what to do with any of these things! (we also don’t have a whole lot of time for any extracurricular activities with a 6 month old daughter and working complete opposite schedules!) this post really makes me want to experiment!

  14. A friend of mine and i were gonna use this for a cosplay photoshoot once. sadly she couldn’t make it to the con last minute. but the plan was to put this in a door way of a con hall and hang me hog tied from the door frame.

    it’s a scene from one piece in impel down. she was gonna be ivankov and i was sadie-chan

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