I’ve heard of horrible things my non-plus-size girlfriends have gone through while pregnant. And while I’m aware that every pregnant lady gets unwanted comments thrown their way, it seems like those directed at plus-size pregnant ladies is wildly different. Some of the comments can even make you feel like, well, like you’ve done something wrong, or that your body is wrong.
The amount of judgement you get for being a plus-size mama is intense!
I normally carry my weight in my tummy; I’m the true definition of the “apple” shape. When I was only four months pregnant, someone who knew about the pregnancy said to me, “Wow, it looks like you’re having twins! You’re huge already!” Little did they know, not only that I was not showing yet, I had actually lost over 10 pounds due to severe morning sickness. Thanks, friend, for that comment.
“You’re really going to finally feel the need to lose weight once your baby arrives. You won’t be able to keep up with being a mom if you’re not fit.” Said one former friend, via Facebook message. Thank god for that “un-friend” button, when it comes to receiving unsolicited advice.
“I really hope your baby is healthier than you are.” Said a stranger in the elevator, when I was eight months pregnant, and just happened to be rubbing my belly out of habit.
These are only a few of the not-so-cool comments people made about my weight during my pregnancy. Add to that the stares and that look in people’s eyes when you know they are genuinely trying to figure out if you’re “fat and pregnant” or “just fat.”
I’m not made of stone; these comments definitely got to me at times — especially when I felt very isolated by the lack of plus size pregnancy clothing available in Canada. I didn’t feel sexy, I didn’t feel pretty I just felt like… Well… have you ever seen a picture of a blob fish?
But I did have some amazing people around me while I was pregnant. And in case you don’t, I want you to hear what I heard:
- You are awesome and you are beautiful.
- You’re growing a freaking LIFE inside of you right now.
- You are loved for who you are; your heart, your spirit and your strength.
It’s okay to get upset if people around you make comments that you don’t appreciate, but try your damndest to not let it get under your skin. You’re better than those people! They may be ignorant and they may be rude but you don’t have to take that negativity home with you.
You will teach your child how to be a better person than they are. You will create good in the world by doing so.
Having a positive plus-size pregnancy certainly may not be easy; but it’s always possible. Seek support from your family and friends, or find a plus-size mama support group online. Can’t find one — start one! Lead the way and create a safe space for others.
You’re an amazing human; you can do this!
What are your tips, struggles, and insights on being plus-size and pregnant?