Yesterday should have been a normal day. It started off that way. But instead it became a first for my eldest daughter. My daughter asked a boy to stop using profanities, and instead, he used them more and more, especially directed at her. And then he threatened her, repeatedly.
When the bus did stop, she ran as fast as she could and into my arms. Her whole body shook with fear and anger. That was the day our daughter became the victim of sexually violent language. She is ten years old. The boy was twelve. She was riding the school bus home from fifth grade.
In the cases of Catfish’s Nev Schulman and AMC’s Chris Hardwick, each men got “justice” via internal investigations from their respective large media companies. It seems that this is enough for a lot of people to accept their innocence after being accused of sexual harassment. But is justice from a self-serving legal team in a huge company REALLY justice?
I was introduced to a new Netflix series “Insatiable,” which presents a fat teen bullied by her high school classmates who gets clocked in the face and loses a bunch of weight due to her jaw being wired shut over the summer. She comes back after losing a lot of weight, now perceived as “hot,” and exacts revenge on her bullying classmates.
I’ve just recently come to the realization that I am genderfluid. Ever since I was a toddler, I’ve been this mix of feminine and masculine, insisting on wearing fluffy dresses while playing Power Rangers. I’ve always felt too masculine to be a girl and too feminine to be a boy.
How do others in the trans and genderqueer community handle physical body changes like weight loss? Does anyone else worry their perception of their own gender, or lack thereof, could change at the end of that particular journey?
I was completely inspired with hope as I sat across from Jillian and listened to her story. The room buzzed with her energy. She was dynamic and powerful. I would’ve never known that just five years before she was in the depths of her struggle with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). BDD is all consuming — a constant obsession about the shame of one’s appearance. This description did not characterize the woman who sat confidently before me. I asked what shifted. I was not prepared for her response.
We definitely want our leaders to be physically and mentally able to take on the huge burdens of leading. But if you’re at all familiar with the Fat Acceptance Movement, you’ll know that being concerned about the weight of others can lead to discrimination, bias, and detrimental health and mental health effects. So when I heard the term “girther” as a play on words for “birther” regarding Donald Trump’s presumed (by some) falsified weight in this last physical exam, I bristled…
I’ve been a fan of Aziz Ansari for years. So when I saw his name pop up in the headlines attached to a sexual encounter, my heart dropped. The issue wasn’t whether she was believed or “right” for me, it was how responses in the media seemed very much divided by age. And where we go from here when it’s not a cut and dry issue of power structures, but rather how consent is dealt with between all of us. Here’s how I’m seeing responses in the different generations…
When I checked Facebook, nearly every status said or referred to #MeToo. I felt annoyed at the whiplash of public consciousness, that we were constantly ping-ponged from tragedy to tragedy. I assumed it would die out within a few days when something else came up for everyone to angst about online. Obviously, I was wrong. Instead of dying out, #MeToo has grown and started a cultural shift so grand and overdue and amazing that it still feels too good to be true. Women are rising and abusive men are falling. Still, instead of celebrating, I felt disgust. I had to finally sit down and journal about this to try to figure out why. As I wrote, I peeled back the layers of my reaction.