Name and occupation: Lara (Fate) Photographic Editor
My wedding profile: Lara & Mark’s fiery medieval-inspired handfast wedding
Wow, where do I start! If anyone had told me, three years ago, that this is how things would end up, I’d never have believed them, but there’s only one constant in life and that is change. (Or death and taxes.)
Our wedding was amazing, and I still get comments about it frequently. Whilst I often wondered (during the planning process) what I was going to fill my time with once it was over, I never expected that fact that it WAS over to hit me quite so hard.
Post-wedding depression, folks, is a very real thing. As someone who is determined to remain child-free, the realisation that our last big “rite of passage” was over was quite distressing. Far more so than the last landmark birthday I passed. What ensued was many months of quiet contemplation about the world we live in and the purpose of life for those of us that choose not to procreate.
I suppose I had what you might consider a small, early, mid-life crisis. Not the kind where you buy a Ferrari and shag a secretary, but the kind where you sit back and examine your life and decide whether you can be happy being a consumerist wage slave for the rest of your short life.
Ultimately I started a journey of self-discovery only to soon find, my husband was no longer by my side. My priorities had changed. What I wanted from life had changed. His had not.
It soon became clear that our future vision was no longer in sync and difficult decisions had to be made. It’s been a long, hard, painful and difficult year, but I’m glad to say that we’ve managed to restore our friendship and actually be something of a support to each other as we’ve both tried to establish and sustain new relationships.
Looking back all these years later, what do you remember most about your wedding?
The most common response I’ve had from friends and family on hearing of our separation has been “What? Noo! But you had such a BEAUTIFUL wedding!”
I’m frequently asked whether I would marry again, and my answer is YES! I’m not disillusioned with love, nor the idea of marriage (although I wouldn’t be so fussy about making it legal with a piece of paper next time). I believe the pursuit and celebration of love is a noble calling. Love is a wonderful thing. It should be celebrated and it should be magical.
Did you repurpose any wedding decor or attire?
Most of our lanterns have a found a home in my house. Tables and rugs we re-used at my cousin’s wedding, and I plan to re-wear my dress to a ball one day — the bonus of not wearing white!
Plenty of things have come in handy in the few small parties I’ve had since.
What advice do you have for newlyweds?
Have plans of exciting things you want to do together after the wedding and honeymoon is over.
Try not to take each other for granted and still go out and discover new things together, make new friends, find new hobbies. Try to grow together, not apart.
We know you love these posts — so do we. So let’s keep ’em going. Let us know which couples you’d like us to follow up with.