Name and occupation: Kaci Beeler, Actor, Artist, Designer
Partner’s name and occupation: Roy Janik, Theatre Owner, Artistic Director, Computer Programmer
Our wedding profile: Kaci and Roy’s vintage Victorian junkyard wedding bash, September 26, 2009.
Well, The Hideout Theatre that we run together in Austin is doing very well and growing! We just expanded the business to include a second theater and a coffeehouse. We keep pretty busy with that. Roy is the Artistic Director and I’m the Design Director there.
We’ve continued to travel the world teaching and performing together. We’ve gone to countless new cities in the past four years, including Toronto, Seattle, Portland, Montreal, Orlando, Atlanta, Brighton, London, and Edinburgh. In Edinburgh we were on the High Street flyering for our show in make-up and costumes when we were recognized from our wedding video (posted on our Offbeat Bride profile), and that was pretty damn awesome. Roy had since quit his job at IBM and works part-time doing programming work and part-time working on the theater. He is much, much happier since he took the plunge to leave his 9-to-5.
I have worked on several commercials and films since our wedding, in addition to my stage acting work. Roy and I recently completed a big project — a new scripted play called Blood, Sweat, and Cheers that was all about the world of competitive cheerleading. I co-wrote and acted in the play and Roy directed it. We’re always on the look-out for our next big project.
Looking back all these years later, what do you remember most about your wedding?
Everyone singing along to Roy’s ukelele wedding song at the end.
Did you re-purpose any wedding decor or attire?
We still use our mason jars all the time as candle holders and flower vases. Simple and classic.
I use the 1920s headband from my wedding ensemble for a Zelda Fitzgerald character I play in my improv duo The Amazon and The Milksop.
Roy wears his morning suit whenever we do our Charles Dickens Unleashed show at The Hideout.
What big challenges have you faced? What have you learned from them?
During our honeymoon in London, I was sick with Swine Flu. I also started to get very paranoid about being married at the age of 22 (Roy was 32). Roy assured me that being married didn’t mean we were turning our lives off. This fear of mine continued for a few months as I struggled with being a post-college artist with a low salary, no car, and a drive to be out of my house as much as possible. Roy at this time was struggling with his work at IBM, lots of guilt over how much he should be working for the theater versus his day job. He was stressed, I was stressed. It wasn’t very fun.
After months of avoiding talking about things in detail, we finally confronted everything — all of the fears — face to face. We made a plan to support each other, no matter what. Roy would pick me up from partying if he didn’t want to join, and I wouldn’t worry about him not joining me. Soon I realized that I really could do almost anything I wanted and needed, and that marriage would support that urge, not suppress it.
We still have rough patches here and there, times when we get caught up in our work and let our communication slip, but, we have a deeper understanding than ever before.
How do you keep your romance alive?
We love having fancy nights out where we dress up, get cocktails, dinner, and desserts. We love to go see live theatre and quirky films. Every few months we’ll take a weekend away in another city and do the fancy stuff and the relaxed stuff and just focus on each other.
What advice do you have for newlyweds?
Saying the mean things and the hard things is difficult, but necessary sometimes. You talk it out and you learn how to move forward with each other. Good communication is #1. Don’t assume the other person knows how you feel or is acting a certain way toward you because of “x or y reason.” When in doubt, just ask!
If you’ve been casually passive aggressive for a few weeks, it’s probably time to have a big talk (even if one person denies the need for this). It’s better out than in, as they say.
We also recommend getting a joint bank account. We had separate accounts for awhile into our marriage and getting a joint account made every purchase and decision a joint decision. We both contribute to our best ability and discuss our finances together. The fewer financial woes and confusion, the better we both feel. (It’s awesome!)
Oh, and take an improv class together! You’ll learn how to be more open, accepting, and inviting of failure, growing pains, changes, and more. I credit our improv education for the accepting world view we both hold together.