Posted byThe entire Offbeat Empire is celebrating Something on a Stick Day today, so every post is going to be about something… on a stick.
In keeping with our day’s theme, I asked our Facebook friends how they reacted when they peed on a stick and found out they were pregnant! Three hours later, there were over 75 reponses… here are a few that had to be shared. While not all Offbeat Family stories start with peeing on a stick, some do — and here they arrrrrre:
Brittney M: I think I may be one among many whose first thought was, “oh sh*t!” Followed closely by “WTF NUVARING?!”
Alexandria M: First pregnancy I used a snack excuse to go into a grocery store and buy a test, then test right there in their bathroom. I think by the time I got back out to the car to tell my husband it was all tears, laughing, nodding, and showing the stick. Second pregnancy I was at home, and was shocked because a friend had told me she had a feeling I was pregnant before I even suspected, so I tested. The only words I could get out were “holy s&*t!” multiple times, and lots more laughter! Yay for those sticks, I tell you!
Laurie A-W: “Fuck!” was the first word out of my mouth when I saw the positive results. It was totally unexpected! (very long story) Then I went out to the living room and said to my hubby, “I’m fucking pregnant!” He was thrilled. It took me a lot longer to get there but I eventually did!
Natashia S: We were trying, and I had a dream right before the test in which the test was positive. The dream convinced me that I didn’t want to get pregnant anymore and I had decided that I was ok with the inevitable negative (we were on the verge of fertility tests/measures, and I’d had an awful lot of negatives leading up to that point). So I freaked the hell out when it came up positive! Hubby was soo happy, I was shell shocked and wanted a drink.
Jennifer H: Disbelief. After trying on our own for 3 years, we got pregnant on our first ovulation induction cycle. I stared at it for several minutes without much emotion. Then I went to tell my husband, who had been asleep just long enough to be totally zonkered. He wouldn’t wake up!!! So my best friend ended up being the first to know!
Christine V: first time (15 yrs old): This means I am positively not, right? Second time: crapcrapcrapcrap. Third time: I am totally not. This is wrong. :::faints::: Fourth time: Oh….that’s why I want Subway. Fifth time: This is wrong… it says I am not. (holds up to light) Oh… shit man, and I just got skinny! Yes, I am a mom to 5. It is wonderful. Sometimes.
Monique C: First: Oh crap. I’m wearing mismatched Hello Kitty socks on purpose and I’M going to be a mother. Like… I CHOSE to wear these two socks, I picked them out and thought “Yes, these are perfect!”. How did I think I was ready for this?! Second: Wow, that was quick. Third: YES! Wait… *counting in my head* A due date in May? Oh no, Gemini. Please be a boy, please be a boy! {He was, and also a Taurus.} Fourth: {my first unplanned pregnancy}: Wait. What?! HOW DRUNK WERE WE? THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! Fifth: Hooray! This is it! Our last baby! Sixth Holy fate much?! (My fifth pregnancy resulted in an early miscarriage, and when my husband and I decided we would try again, I was already pregnant and our son is now due in May. I still don’t think I’m over that shock.)
Naomi C: Went through 7 rounds of IUI to get pregnant. I tested at home and got a faint positive almost immediately. I started shaking and crying and opened the bathroom door. My husband was waiting. I said, “It has two lines! Two lines!” His immediate response was, “What does that MEAN?!” We had a good laugh.
Yvette M: First pregnancy. I was out of town on a girls trip and expected my period that weekend. It never came and I couldn’t get home fast enough to take a test. I was in shock. It was the first month we tried and I couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I looked at the test with a confused look on my face telling my hubby “This is why people can’t read these things!” It was the faintest little line but there it was! Current pregnancy. So excited! We had a miscarriage over the summer and it was hard. Months and months later of trying we finally got it right. I called him right away and said “We did it!” We couldn’t be happier.
Jo C: I was in the navy. We all had to do a Drug screen, and my drug screen came up positive for baby.
You can read more right here on Facebook. If you missed the original post, leave your story in the comments below — we’d love to read it!
This are awesome, though I’m kind of alarmed by the one where it seems she got pregnant five times without meaning to. They know what causes it these days…
Not to be picky, but she says that her 4th pregnancy was her first, and seemingly only, unplanned pregnancy.
My friend thought I was pregnant before I knew. I went home, took a test, and it was positive.
For the past 15 years, I had put so much energy into NOT getting pregnant. I was shocked, even though it was planned, and it took me a long time to accept that I could be happy about it. Weeks later, when I began telling others, I still cringed and expected them to say, “Oh really?” in that flat way that means they’re not excited and they disapprove. I finally got used to people being excited about around 6 months in. It was such a huge shift in mindset for me.
We all had to do a Drug screen, and my drug screen came up positive for baby.
Must’ve been the baby crack.
Hubby and I were drinking (oddly enough on Sept. 11th – just a coincidental date). I was hammered on tequila and thought it would be a perfect time to take a pregnancy test. I wasn’t concerned since I was on the pill for my hormonal imbalance and (allegedly) incredibly infertile, but thanks to said hormonal imbalance my periods were notoriously off-kilter. So I got in the habit of taking dollar store tests when they were late just to give myself a piece of mind.
Stumbling down the stairs, pee-covered stick in hand, I was so shocked and scared that all I could say to my husband was “What the hell is this?”. He looked at me, gave a smart-ass response and rushed off around midnight before the grocery store closed to get another test, which also came up positive.
I lost it. Being adamantly childfree, it was not a decision I wanted to have to make or a situation I wanted to find myself in. Being pro-choice, but knowing which choice was right for my specific beliefs and circumstances, my little tequila-induced panic is now almost 11 months old and every bit as surprising and spontaneous as her debut.
When I took the test at 4 weeks I threw up (which has been the theme for the 16 weeks since then and looks unlikely to change). We’d just travelled halfway around the world on a booze soaked honeymoon, where I’d gotten very badly bitten by something and ended up on a massive pile of antibiotics. Husband and doctors wouldn’t believe it so I had to take another, both cheapo £1 tests, very strong positive on both.
I meant to submit this on the facebook one, but was distracted. My favourite on-a-stick story is the one about our second pregnancy. Our first ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks and since my cycle moves around so much, I didn’t think anything of it when my period was late after we started trying again. So I CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN, expecting my period to start at any moment but managing to enjoy myself anyway. The next morning, I decided to take a test and was rather shocked when the second line came up! She’s now a happy, healthy 6 year old that adores her little sister. They’re both eagerly awaiting the arrival of their little brother in early July.
I had bought a pack of pregnancy tests for my roommate. I was always telling on her that if she kept having unprotected sex she was going to get pregnant. I had been diagnosed as going through early menopause two years prior (at 34, common in my family for some reason) and had been on Estrogen shots. I lost my insurance at 35 and stopped taking the shots. My roommate said she would only take the test if I did. I thought it was silly but whatever. Hers came up negative, mine was quite positive. I didn’t believe it. 18 tests later and a blood test from the health department finally made it real to me.
I had been feeling like complete shit for a week – nauseous, bloated, all kinds of gross. Never did it occur to me during that whole week that it could be pregnancy, even though we weren’t using protection – we’d tried for a year, then given up, and we were currently working on losing weight, getting into shape, etc – New Year’s resolution stuff. My periods were super erratic, I hadn’t had one in months. Still, when I finally peed on the stick, I READ IT WRONG. It was a stupid plus sign one and it was all confusing. One line was faint, the other was dark – I showed it to my husband and we agonized over it. Eventually, I had to pee again and I went for a different test. That one was OBVIOUSLY two lines. I then lost my shit. That night, we went to dinner and were so fucking awkward with each other – we kept looking at each other and going, Is this real? Can we do this?
By the next day, I had peed on 5 different things. I kept the digital one until the very end, cause I figured, no interpreting that one! And even though I knew it would be positive, I was still surprised when it was. So funny. And yet, I didn’t have a single thing confirmed until last week, when I had my dating ultrasound and found I was almost 12 weeks along. That’s the one benefit to being stupid – by the time you figure it out, you’re so pregnant that you can tell people without being too nervous. 😛
I still wanted to pee on things afterward, but my husband made me stop. He said I could spend the 10 bucks per pack on baby stuff instead, and that made more sense, so I let it go. 😛
The first time, I was 14 years old and scared to death. I walked to my bus stop after taking the test before school, and my best friend looked at me and said, “you look like you just threw up.” I said, “yeah, apparently that’s a side effect of pregnancy.” The second time, I remember the Earth actually stopping for a second, and spinning around the other way. I was in an IHOP bathroom… and went back to the table, told my fiance “yup… it’s fo-sho.” and will never, ever, ever to this day smell maple syrup without thinking of the look on his face. The last time (with my current and last husband) I had set a “hopefully by this time” date for myself and it was Father’s Day. I almost forgot about it, because it was 5 in the morning and I just woke up to use the bathroom, but I remembered I had one last test in the bathroom cabinet, so I took it just to see… and I woke up him to congratulate him on his first official Father’s Day. He grabbed the stick and said, “ARE YOU SURE? FOR REALS?!” I said “yes… and that’s the side I peed on…” LOL
It was the week of the Conclave and I had the news on as I was dozing early in the morning. I had a dream that I was at the Conclave with my baby. I remember thinking “Wow, this is neat, but where did I get this baby? She’s cute and all… huh?” and woke up thinking it was very vivid and funny.
Throughout the morning, I started cramping, and sweating and just generally being uncomfortable. For some reason I really wanted to have a healthy breakfast, and lunch. Which is fine, but normally when my period is due I want to EAT ALL THE THINGS.
About 3:00 something in my head snapped and I took the test. We’d had a bunch on hand because I’m paranoid and we were half-heartedly trying, and there had been multiple times when I thought I was.
I sobbed for about five minutes mostly because I was terrified and a little disappointed that I wasn’t as excited as I thought I should be.
I snapped a photo of the test and texted it to my husband. He was ecstatic. Me, I’m growing into it.
I’d just come back from a work trip to Fiji (I’m in Australia, so it isn’t far) and packed all of my “necessities” as I’d expected my period to arrive while I was there. It didn’t, and during my first-thing-in-the-morning-pee a few days later when it still hadn’t appeared I thought I’d pee on the stick that was in the bathroom from the last time I’d freaked out. I was really laid back about it because I wasn on BC and figured I would instinctively know if I was pregnant. Ha!
I hadn’t even finished peeing on it when the second line appeared!
I freaked the heck out – we weren’t married (a big deal for my super conservative family) and my boyfriend claimed he definitely wasn’t ready for kids.
I was terrified and shaking as I walked (naked) into the study where he was checking his facebook – I just thrust it into his face and started crying.
Fortunately the first thing to come out of his mouth was, “This is a good thing, right?” and as soon as I knew he was on board I relaxed and realised that yes, it was a very, very good thing 🙂
(Our “surprise baby” turned 1 on the weekend – I’m trying to convince hubby that was should try for a “planned baby” soon).
My period was due the day before, I had been temping and my demp wasn’t sropping like it usually did the day before my period started, so I took a pregnancy test at 6am when my husband was getting up for work. It came back with the most faint line ever!! Neither of us were sure if it was really a line or we were just imagining it. We both hugged and agreed we’d test again the next day. He left for work and I rced down to the drug store to buy a spendy digital test. Once I got home, my digestive system was ready to di it’s normal morning task (TMI——– #2!) and as much as I wanted to do the pee test, my body overrode the muscle control and wouldn’t let me pee until I’d gone #2!!! So, as soon as I COULD pee, I peed on the digital and it immediately popped up with the words ‘pregnant!’
I finished up in the bathroom and went to the kitchen to take a pic of the word ‘pregnant’ to text it to my husband. Fast forward to 9 hours later. My husband came home from work and went into the bathroom to pee. He lifted the toilet seat and called out to me, “Wow, honey, you must have been really excited about the pregnancy test this morning. You forgot to flush!!!!!” (Remember, I had gone #2.) OMG embarassing!!!!!! Well, I guess if I crap on the delivery table now, it won’t be such a surprise to my husband!
I was just about to get in the shower and I thought I should probably do a test as I was thinking my period should show up soon, and my b0obs felt kinda weird. I was just about to get in and I looked back at the test expecting it to be negative and I could not believe what I was seeing! I shouted for my husband and I couldn’t stop laughing and saying “There’s a line!” After 18 months of negative tests I thought it would never happen. I’m 16 weeks now and I still can barely believe it 🙂
Just found out I’m preggers (literally 30 mins or so ago). Hubby is out, so I’m trying to think of a clever way to tell him. But we only tried ONCE. LITERALLY ONE TIME and BAM!
My reaction when I saw the 2 pink lines was “WTF, you’re fucking kidding me right? fuck my life!” Still don’t think I’ve processed it. I’m happy but sad too. Don’t want to deal with all these changes (i feel sick, my breasts are HUGE already and so tender they hurt even when i walk, and i’m super bloated). But we’ll see …. now how should i tell hubby??
Ruin a tee shirt with a sharpie : Xmarks the spot??
I was 6 weeks pregnant, my period didn’t come so I took the test. I was sure it was a NOT PREGNANT because I was on birth control… yeah, I’m that 1% and now I’m 32 weeks pregnant.
I cried, a lot. his dad was so damn happy and I was not. I’m 24, I finished college so I’m pretty much ready to be a mom, and I always wanted kids, but I don’t have a job so I started thinking about what I was missing and how I was not ready to give my baby all I wanted and all he needs. Now I’m in love with my little boy and I trust I’ll be able to find something later, but that moment was shocking and yes, I was part of the WTF group.
My 10 year old son was making toast in the kitchen. All he heard from the bathroom was, ‘Are you fucking serious?’.
After months of trying, knowing to the second when my period was supposed to come, I’d gotten swept up in the birth of my nephew and completely missed the fact that I was a week late!
After work I went and bought my fiancé (this will be his first child) a Dad mug, and my son a #1 brother t-shirt. As my son already has a little brother from his dad, he didn’t get it at first, then when he saw the mug he jumped up and hugged me and kissed my belly and ran off to tell the dog. God I hope I have another one like him! And I thought my fiancé would pop the baby from the hug gave me
With my first, I had been sick for about a month. Kept thinking I was, then telling myself it wasn’t possible because I was on the depo shot. Which had been working very well for me for four years. Finally took the test around twelve weeks, knew the answer, but let the reality set in – I was under-employed, had just moved back in with mom and dad, had broken up with my son’s father, and it was not the right time. So I found an adoptive couple and have a great story and great relationship with them and the six and a half year old boy.
Second pregnancy, I had an IUD. And intimacy was hard to come by because my husband and I had about a million roommates. We had literally one moment to get busy every two months. One of those moments, he mentioned that my boobs had gotten bigger. I joked around that it was just the steroids (I had been getting injections for a rotator cuff injury). He asked me to take the test. We purchased them, then drove back home. I took the test, which came up positive. I was terrified- I had been working seven days a week, my diet was pretty much caffeine, nicotine, protein, water, and booze. I had been on the steroid shots and heavy painkillers for my shoulder. None of this could be good news to the baby. My husband was so excited, he forgot the low ceiling in our office and tried to jump up and down. There’s still a crack from his head. Made a prenatal appointment, where I got my IUD out. Then had an ultrasound – no heartbeat. Took a good seven months for us to work through that.
Third pregnancy, we had resumed intimacy, had gotten rid of the roommates, I had gotten a better job and was eating very healthy, so we figured I wouldn’t go back on birth control and we’d just let whatever was going to happen happen. Which meant that I was testing myself pretty much every weekend I planned on drinking if I wasn’t bleeding (I have really erratic cycles). Took a test Saturday, negative. The next Monday was Labor Day, and I figured I’d try the next test in the package for funsies. Positive. I was working with my doc, so got in for an ultrasound quickly, I was three weeks or “thirty seconds pregnant” as the doc put it.
My initial reaction went something like this: “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. What the fucking fuck do I do the fuck now.” (And so on.)
Background: I was 3 weeks past my seventeenth birthday, high school junior. I had used condoms religiously (later found out that my at-the-time sort-of-ex-boyfriend had literally been poking holes in them to try and get me back. Lots of love. By the way, if you were wondering, that works…).
I was actually in the bathroom at Target, because isn’t that where everyone takes their pregnancy tests? I hadn’t had a period for 2 months, but wasn’t worried because I’m irregular at the best of times. I was in the habit of taking a test every 2 months or so just to be sure (mostly at my partner’s insistence). With no symptoms besides some bloating, I absolutely did not expect to be pregnant, like even a little bit. I was on a 45-minute lunch break (I worked about a 2-minute walk away from Target). I sat in the bathroom and cried for over half an hour and ended up being late getting back to work. My boss didn’t say anything, presumably seeing my post-ugly-cry face and deciding not to touch it.
It didn’t take a terribly long time for me to warm up to the idea. I like to think I’m a pretty practical person, and I kind of took the attitude of “Well this is what it is. I may as well not resent it or I’ll be miserable for no reason.” I ended up losing the pregnancy days later–just enough time for me to become cautiously happy about the whole business. Just the way it goes, I guess.
We had only been trying for a couple months so I was not expecting it at all. I decided when I was 2 days late to take the test. My husband told me to stop, “peeing on the expensive sticks.” I rolled my eyes and did it anyways.
I got a weird result of only one left line (as most of you know 2 lines means yes and one right line means no) and was very confused. I then ran to the drugstore and got the idiot proof “yes+” or “no-” one. I then proceeded to chug 2 bottles of water as my husband looked on laughing at me and saying, “you are not pregnant let’s just have a fun weekend.”
I took the test….”yes+” then I took the other one in the box, “yes+.” I strolled up behind him as he was on the computer and tapped him on the shoulder and with one eyebrow raised said, “oh really. I’m not?!?”
Then he got excited (excited enough to stop in the middle of his heated game of Starcraft) and gave me a hug and a look of disbelief.
Then I said, “most efficient baby making ever” and high-fived him.