Parenting sweet spots: spontaneous “I love yous” and eating raw broccoli
Right now we’re in the midst of what I like to call a “parenting sweet spot” — those weeks or months in which there aren’t any major behavioral problems going on, most-to-all of the balanced meals are being eaten, and my child’s general disposition is one of a curious, sweet, and incredibly polite little boy. To me, these sweet spots are evidence that the hard work you put in weeks or sometimes years prior has paid off: your kid has actually learned something from you, and that something is good.
Learning to run the relay that is special needs parenting
I think having a child with a disability is similar to learning how to run. We line up and listen to a whole lot of people tell us what we should do. Sometimes we hear them. Often we don’t. They are usually talking from their own experience anyway and only slivers of what they say will have real applicable value to ourselves. Then we run: we try and try and try and try.
How do you decide which beliefs to pass on to your child?
While discussing all things family related with my fiancee, we were debating whether or not we should raise the kids vegan (I’m vegan, she’s not) or according to my religious beliefs (she’s agnostic and doesn’t follow anything specifically). For us, as a queer couple, this opens some interesting dialogue because if we end up adopting and those kids are older, we don’t necessarily feel right imposing beliefs on someone who is of an age where they can make their own decisions.
My daughter has a dozen parents and it’s awesome
Yes, I am part of the group that parents my daughter, but I am not the only one. I cannot imagine denying her the incredible formative experiences that she is getting now, and that she will continue to get. I am comfortable saying that I am not my child’s only parent. She has over a dozen! She has all these people who are equally invested in guiding her, loving her and seeing her grow into a responsible adult.
How to make friends as a grown up: stop being a victim, start making plans
I got into a huge conversation recently with an old friend of mine. He’s in his mid-30s, self-employed, and works from his home in the burbs. He recently broke up with his girlfriend, and is newly single and realizing he just doesn’t have the group of friends that he did in his 20s. I’ve had the same conversation with other friends in their late 20s and 30s (and 40s)… how the fuck do you make friends as a grown up?
Why it’s awesome to raise a city child
My family was never really suburban in the traditional sense of the word. We went downtown often, attended lots of theatre and ate in interesting restaurants. But it was always a long schlep to get anywhere. We needed to leave the house an hour before any dinner reservation. And I always had to make sure to catch the last TTC ride home, curbing late-night teenage adventures. I hated walking across the deserted parking lot of Finch subway station to retrieve the family car and drive the rest of the way home. It was too quiet. I always preferred the noise and bustle of downtown to the eery silence of deserted suburbia.
A foresty mom-and-me session with a single parent and her five-year-old
These photos of Athalia and her daughter, Lailah, were recently sent over to us from California photographer Whittaker Portraits. Athalia is a single mom, and wanted to capture this time in her five-year-old’s life. Athalia plans to give these to her daughter when she grows up along with poems, letters, and quotes she’s kept in a journal, which I love!
How does one go about creating an old-ladyship home?
As a single woman of 68, and living in France far from my family, I am beginning to look at end of life issues — such as how to age gracefully in place, how to create a support group and face the last how-ever-many years with dignity, control, and pleasure. I have been discussing creating a shared home with four or five other women and wonder if anyone else thinks of this.