3.4k

Coming out as polyamorous to family (how I did it and how it may help you!)

In the spring of 2015, I was planning my wedding. However, the elephant in the room was that I was in love with someone else. My non-fiancé partner was a huge part of my life, and I couldn't imagine them not being at our wedding.

The problem was, I hadn't told my family about the polyamorous aspect of my life or my long-established queerness. It was one of those things that I cowardly wanted to save until there was "something to report," lest I draw my parents into my straight-presenting relationship and the hypothetical non-monogamous sex and love I was open to having with imaginary future people of indiscriminate gender.

1.3k

Microaffections as revolution: one response to mass shootings and lock-down drills

Then my daughter tells me that tomorrow in school, there will be a lockdown drill and asks me if the alarm will be loud. I freeze.

We need softness in the face of terror, we need kindness in response to hate, and we need love as revolution. We need these tiny drop of some magic healing warmth. We need the opposite of the microaggressions that so many of us deal with daily… and I realize that what we need are microaffections.

1.6k

Why I can't get over the Trump election, as a survivor of sexual assault

During this election cycle, I was sexually assaulted by a man that I had told just hours earlier, "I don't like you. You're the type that just takes what you want." Now that type of man is my president-elect. So this is more than losing an election. It's more than Donald Trump.

It's that I thought this country was getting better, and it's a smack in the face to realize that it's not.

I never planned to breastfeed a toddler, and now I do all the time

I don't know how it is in other countries and cultures, but breastfeeding brings out a lot of emotions in this country, mainly of discomfort. The idea that breasts, the symbol of female sexuality, should provide the ultimate nourishment to babies, the symbol of innocence, just seems, so, well, unnatural. Before I had children, I thought I was OK with nursing babies, but the idea of a toddler nursing was, if not obscene, at least weird — a kid being able to ask to nurse! I vowed to be discreet, not to make anyone else uncomfortable. I still remember my cousin feeding her baby during a wedding reception when I was a kid. While she was talking to my father! I wouldn't do that in front of any of my uncles.