I was just a regular teenage girl one moment and then a wreck the next. All I had to worry about in life was what outfit I would have to wear to school the next day and what grades I got in my classes. But that all changed in just one day.
My mom had been going through a rough patch and her depression had gotten the worst of her. One day she just vanished into thin air.
The moment we all realized something was up was at about 7:00 pm when my mom had been gone for quite a while. This had never happened before and I immediately called the police. Frantically, I dialed the number and couldn’t even make out a full sentence because I had realized that from this moment, my life would never be the cookie-cutter kind of perfect anymore.
I just didn’t want to come to the realization that my mom just flat-out left without even thinking twice.
I waited and waited for her to show up, couldn’t handle school, cried every time I saw a mother walking with her child, and even just saying the word “mom” triggered me. People were feeling sympathetic for me left to right, which let me say, I hated! People would always ask if I was alright. Obviously, I wasn’t — my mom was missing and I had no idea what was going on.
In order to calm me down, I would come up with a million scenarios of what could have happened. Maybe it wasn’t just abandonment — it was probably just her depression and she wasn’t thinking straight. She could have been taken. I just didn’t want to come to the realization that my mom just flat-out left without even thinking twice.
School, adulting, life, hormones, and on top of all of that, a missing mom.
Days passed into months. I just hoped for her to finally snap out of the depressive world she was in and return back home. Thanksgiving, Christmas, my dad’s birthday… and nothing. She still didn’t come back. I felt a huge emptiness. I didn’t know what to think anymore — the situation was just so much for a teenager to handle. How is an 18-year-old supposed to deal with all of this stress? School, adulting, life, hormones, and on top of all of that, a missing mom.
It’s really easy for some to say, “It’s not that hard, just let it go,” “You can’t just throw your whole life away because of this,” or “You’re a strong girl, you can handle this.”
It’s easier said than done.
My brain was about to explode because of how much stress I was under. But months have passed now and it’s still hard. It may even be a little bit harder because there used to be more hope. Now I realize that my mother abandoned me. The ghost of her will be seen at my graduation, marriage, and life.
I hope she comes back, but I lost hope and now I just have to be strong.
This experience has truly been a roller coaster of events and I guess everything happens for a reason. Like they say, everyone around you is going through something. I have come out stronger and more aware of what can happen in anyone’s life.
This is just my own story.