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How sex toys empowered me after trauma & shame

In December of 2009, I bought my first sex toy, and it was incredible. Here was an entire industry dedicated to the act of bringing my body pleasure. Not for anyone else, but for my own enjoyment. And it wasn't presented as secretive and embarrassing and shameful: it was bright purple. And for the first time, my body felt like mine and my sexuality belonged to me. Since then, sex toys have been an active interest of mine, and I've learned a lot about them — and about how important they are.

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There's an app that'll help you find places where you can actually take up space as a larger person

You know what's rad? Stores, restaurants, bars, theme parks, and other public spaces which are accessible for everyone — even those of us who take up space or call ourselves fat or otherwise like to not be squeezed into spaces which are only meant for a fraction of the population. I stumbled upon an app that is sort of like a Yelp but for rating accessibility for fat/plus size (you pick your terms!) people. If you are one of these people, these things will sound familiar…

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The call of loneliness

I truly want to believe that it doesn’t take heartbreak to make you remember the love inside you… But evidence suggests that it takes that agony, that searing burn of loneliness and anxiety and isolation to truly help you find the lover that’s been within you, waiting for you, all this time.

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In which I tell conservatives I understand them because I used to be one

If I can say anything at this bleak hour, with the world splitting at its seams, it's this: conservatives, I understand you. It may not be something you expect to hear from a liberal, but I do. I understand you. I understand you because I used to be you. Long ago, in the era of Slick Willy and the dawn of explicit labels on music CDs, I was conservative, too. I stood up for men first, considered money an inalienable right, questioned immigration, and thought abortion was the greatest moral crisis facing our lives…