Doing porn helped me love and respect my fat body
Like many other people who are fat children who become fat teenagers before being fat adults, I learned from a young age that my body was “never meant to be desirable or sexy.” Fat bodies are never portrayed in the media as being sexy in a way which is positive or empowering, so there is simply very little representation for fat people as sexual beings. So, I became a sex worker, making indie amateur pornography.
I took a deep breath, hit record, and filmed some videos of myself. It was difficult and confronting. I felt bad about how I looked. Yet, with each video it got easier…
Why my feminism includes traditional gender roles
When you hear the word “feminist,” you likely don’t picture is me: a housewife who does all the cooking and housekeeping, who makes dinner from scratch, and a solid effort to look pretty for her husband everyday when he comes home from work. I’m “mom” to my two rescued mutts. I’m a published writer. I’m a wife. And my feminism includes my right to want to be the best wife and partner that I can possibly be to my husband. The keyword there being “partner.”
Fuck yeah, I’m getting older! My alternative anti-aging manifesto
The daily realities of aging have also terrified me — losing my physical strength and vitality, and also the effect the years will have on my appearance. As a woman in a society obsessed with youth and beauty it is hard to shake off the stigma of aging. As I approach my 33rd birthday I set about devising my own, alternative “anti-aging manifesto.” I began to write it down, and found myself smiling, as my words were light hearted and empowering. I was focusing on all the things I want to embrace.
Living in the home your partner owns: “Welcome to the secret society of imposter syndrome ‘housewives'”
I’m definitely beyond excited and happy to be living with with my partner. But, I find that I’m struggling with living with someone who owns their own house for a lot of reasons…
Gender and sexuality: Is there an “Inappropriate Question Hour” anywhere?
When I was in college, there was an amazing “Inappropriate Question Hour” where people agreed to leave their privilege and prejudices at the door in order to educate one another. I haven’t found anything like it since. Does anyone know of any resources or communities where people can participate in the gender and sexuality conversation without fear?
Getting stoned with my vagina revolutionized my feelings about my own sexual body
Why a perfectly healthy, vibrant woman would be ashamed of her own perfectly healthy, vibrant vagina is a different subject all together. We will file that one under “Future bones to pick with the Patriarchy.” A different story for a different day. We will just say that hiding and quieting my vagina has just sort of been a major part of my role as a female, and hiding tends to lead to shameful feelings. Am I Right?
But today was for me and my vagina. I applied my beaver balm, generously. It melted like butter and felt warm, with a nice tingle. I pulled my pants and undies back up and went about my business, tidying the house, made myself a cup of coffee. Usual stuff. Twenty minutes later, my vagina was stoned…
#effyourbeautystandards: The number on the scale does NOT define me
This has taken a lot of lady balls to post. But you know what?! #effyourbeautystandards! People may make assumptions about me — the way I dress, the way I carry myself — but let me tell you my story… I have struggled almost my whole life with poor self image. It was a lot worse growing up; it started very young in my pre-teens and it affected everything I saw in the mirror, not just my body. It’s only been in my adult years where I’ve truly started to accept me for me.
My third life: Reinventing myself by moving to another city
In New York, one of the first questions asked when you meet someone is, “What borough are you from?” I quickly learned that I needed to “represent.” At first, it felt weird trying to profess my pride for a place that I had only know through TV and movies, but as months passed, I felt less and less like a Clevelander and more like a Brooklynite. Unfortunately, after 14 years, the New York City that had I loved since childhood pretty much vanished in front of my eyes. ust as we were contemplating leaving, we got an offer to stay with his family in Greeley, Colorado…