Category Archive

Identity

how hockey helped me heal from an abusive relationship

How hockey helped me heal from an abusive relationship

I was almost five years into an abusive relationship, and at best, I was bereft of both self-esteem and hope. The good news is that a month and a half later, I finally got up enough courage to leave. At the time, I thought it was a temporary measure to help him realize that what he was doing was wrong. But it turned into a journey of recovery and self-discovery that I’m still taking today. None of it has been easy, but a lot of that journey has been aided by playing hockey…

adult with autism

Married, happy, autistic: My life as an adult with Autism

So much information about autism and the Autism Awareness Movement is geared toward young children. News flash: adults have autism, too. I’m one of them. “But you seem so ‘normal,’ and you’re married! You can’t have autism!” Exclamations like these always follow whenever I tell people that I’m autistic. It’s true: I probably don’t fit into your idea of what it means to be autistic — I’m married, I had a career before I was diagnosed with a bone disease that ended it — but it’s something that affects me every moment of every day.

women and body image issues

Why I’m ripping the minus sign off my calculator: the mathematics of women and body image issues

My whole life has been about taking things out of my life in order to make it better. Subtracting weight. Removing blemishes. Getting rid of the appearance of cellulite and stretch marks. Reducing belly fat. Banishing negative thoughts. Taking this or that out of my diet. Ignoring my needs, lessening them for the convenience of others. Literally lowering the volume of my voice because too many people have scolded me for being too loud. To say I’m fed up with it is a gross understatement.

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5 ways parenting is like college, kind of

A couple of weeks ago, a guy kissed me all sloppy with his mouth wide open, tried to take my shirt off, and then barfed into my hand, which I promptly wiped on my jeans. As it turns out, that is not the only way my life as a new parent closely resembles my life as a college student.

meandlee

I’m a grandma and I have a baby of my own: the other side of teen parenthood

When I think about being a grandma, I feel like I should be older, more patient, have money, be able to spoil him, take him places. Instead, I walk with him and his aunt to the park. I drag them to the library because “grandma loves books.” I play music loud in the car and plan my next tattoo. All things I guess grandma’s don’t do. Or maybe they do. I do anyway.

Transgender Comic by

I’ve known I was transgender since age 2

I have a hard time explaining to non-transgender people how I knew I was male from the start; I just did. I sometimes ask them, “How do you know you’re male or female?” Often, they go quiet and look stumped, because they can’t answer it either. Most people seem to just know, right? You can’t pinpoint what makes you feel that way or when exactly you realized it, can you? You likely always just knew.

girlsphoto

I thought I lost my faith until I found it in my kids

It happened when I was 18. I was going to an all-girls Catholic college, and one morning — a particularly chilly late-autumn morning in Massachusetts — I looked up at the chapel, and I couldn’t feel him. He was gone. It took a bit of adjusting. For 18 years I’d believed in him. To just stop, well, it was jarring.

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I’m proud of my stretch marks: body confidence after having two kids

Thanks to my son, I’ve now got a better understanding of who I am and why I should be proud of it. You won’t hear me tell my boys that I’m fat, or unhappy with my body because I’ve truly learned the value of self image. I still watch what I eat and exercise, but it’s not to change my physical self. It’s to stay fit and healthy so I can keep up with these boys.