Getting stoned with my vagina revolutionized my feelings about my own sexual body

Guest post by Roxie Hunt
Photo by Roxie Hunt.
Photo by Roxie Hunt.

I haven’t spent much time, aside from the minimal grooming and maintenance, paying special attention to my vagina. One might say that I have been neglectful of the spiritual needs of my own vagina, having been raised a woman in American society and all that.

I haven’t spent much time talking about my vagina either, because, well, it doesn’t seem appropriate to talk about the part of me that has been such a source of secret, deep-seated shame and embarrassment for my entire life.

Why a perfectly healthy, vibrant woman would be ashamed of her own perfectly healthy, vibrant vagina is a different subject all together. We will file that one under “Future bones to pick with the Patriarchy.” A different story for a different day. We will just say that hiding and quieting my vagina has just sort of been a major part of my role as a female, and hiding tends to lead to shameful feelings. Am I Right?

Getting stoned with my vagina revolutionized my feelings about my own sexual body. I am still trying to figure out how to categorize the experience in the file cabinets of my mind, so bear with me as I recount the story and my feelings about it.

Here is the story…

A couple months back, a dear alchemist friend of mine gifted me some homemade “Beaver Balm,” a pink cinnamon smelling goo, made with a blend of organic oils and infused with sativa, formulated for her pleasure. [Editor’s note: it’s similar to Foria, which is available in some states.] I was very eager to try it out, what with the stories and testaments of the magic of the stoned yoni which have been circulating in the past few years. With all that and the words of a close friend in my head — “I discovered weed balm for my vag, and I haven’t left my bed for the last week” — I had to give it a try.

It seemed appropriate to first experiment on my own, in the safety and comfort of my own bed, on a day when my husband was at work, and kids at school. Today was for me and my vagina. I applied my beaver balm, generously. It melted like butter and felt warm, with a nice tingle. I pulled my pants and undies back up and went about my business, tidying the house, made myself a cup of coffee. Usual stuff. Twenty minutes later, my vagina was stoned. As in fully heightened senses, relaxed, giggly (yes it really was), thoughtful, and with a legit case of the munchies.

The feeling was unmistakably like being high on good pot, but in my vagina instead of in my head. The rest of me felt normal, completely unimpaired. My vagina appeared to be operating as its own entity — asserting its lovely personality and sense of humor. A new awareness set in. My vagina, after all this time, wanted to be friends.

For the next twenty minutes, my vagina laughed with me at the absurdity of our cultures’ obsession with the female body and shame around our sexuality. My vagina, in a friendly jab sort of way, told me to lighten up a little bit and stop acting so repressed. My vagina assured me that just because I carried the torch of generations of puritanical thoughts and beliefs, didn’t mean I couldn’t drop the torch at any point, and keep walking. My vagina confessed that it didn’t have a good grasp on what “gender” even meant, let alone how to identify. My vagina said “I’m hungry. Got any snacks?” And I was like, what does that even mean!? How do you… I don’t even know what to do with that question. Just absolutely stumped. We laughed, we cried, and then we decided to take a nap.

This experience left me absolutely struck… The discovery of the capability of my vagina to be so insightful and hold its own in a heated discussion, and of its ability to relate, and its quickness to engage with me — even after a lifetimes worth of neglect.

I realized that maybe I hadn’t given my vagina the credit it deserved in the past. I hadn’t tuned in and listened. I had been quieting it myself, without even realizing it. And after all of this, it forgave me! The Beaver Balm had helped us initiate communication, and begun the process of healing the rift which had divided us all these years.

I can now officially say that I have seen the light, and that I have had conversations with my vagina. What I am thrilled to report is that beyond the heightened sexual experiences that are promised by cannabis lubes, lies the experience of an honest conversation, a good laugh, and a different kind of awareness… and if you are lucky like me, a new-found vaginal kinship.

As we nodded off together, my vagina said, “Hey. Don’t forget. We are in this together!” I smiled, and nodded lazily in agreement. I had to ask though If we really are in this together, then how is it that you are you stoned, and I’m not. To which it responded “You! Always analyzing and questioning! Just relax and give in to the mystery.”

Which was exactly what I needed to hear.

What would your vagina say in a weed induced state? #pussytalk

Comments on Getting stoned with my vagina revolutionized my feelings about my own sexual body

  1. Well, I’m straight out of emojis, but if I could find any, I would have hearts all over the place. And those little cats that are laughing so hard they are crying. This just made my day, So very very funny.
    Fun aside, I think I’m gonna have to try that myself. Soon. very soon. That is probably one of the most ingenious ideas I’ve heard off when trying to come to terms with my body, myself and my vagina. It was a very liberating read. And sadly, the parts about feeling shameful and not fitting into some mold of what female sexuality is in western society, reverberated all too well.

  2. Most obscure and bizarre article I’ve ever read on this site. Do I just not get it because I’ve always felt comfortable with my sexuality and vag? Or because I’ve never used pot? I don’t know what the hell this means.

    • Haha, I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I had no idea what was going on basically the whole time. I am yet again reminded that, occasionally, there will be a post on here that just will not apply at all. 🙂

  3. So, was there really cannabis in the Beaver Balm? The link takes you to a balm that doesn’t seem to have any weed in it. If you do apply cannabis to your vulva, will it show up on drug tests?

    • Medicated lube for sure exists. Not sure on that exact one. I would assume that yes, since your body absorbs and metabolises the cannabis, it is possible it would show. However, if you don’t smoke the thc mightclear your system quickly.

  4. This may be pedantic, but was it your vagina or your vulva? The vagina is the opening; the vulva comprises all your lovely lady bits, including your clit, labia, etc. as well as the vagina.

  5. I looked at this product and it doesn’t say anything about sativa. I’d imagine it’s the same sensation you’d have from tiger balm….at 1/4 the price. This seems more like an ad than an authentic “article” with some “confessions of body shame” thrown in.

  6. Yeah… The linked product doesn’t indicate any sativa content, but St. John’s wort, which is a natural antidepressant, among other things. I’m not sure why those things were confused, as they are vastly different. What’s the deal?

  7. Vag cannabalm definitely exists! (I’m wondering if the product listed online here isn’t just the “available to ship to all states” version.) I’ve heard mixed reviews on weed ointments and lubes, so I think it’s cool that it worked for you.
    I just KNOW my stoned pussy would be paranoid and twitchy. My pussy has no chill. It would just worry out loud that I was going to shut it up with another tampon.

  8. I haven’t tried that particular product, but I can say from living in a medical state and having chronic pain issues… Pot has completely changed my sex life. I’m not sure words completely explain. But. Seriously, it was like discovering sex for the first time. There was so much I was missing. Screw ‘female viagra,’ I’ll just take a hit instead.

  9. I suffer from vulvar-vaginal pain, and because of this have a terrible relationship with my lady parts. A product like this sounds very intriguing. But I’m wondering if it’s similar to lidocaine? Is it numbing or more tingly? The story doesn’t appear to link to any products, so I’d love to see something with an ingredient list to bring to my gyno. (I did take a look at the above link for weed lube, and I’m not sure this is legal where I live.)

  10. Roxie,
    This post was exactly what I needed to read. I have had a ridiculous gender-fluid-fueled on-again-off-again relationship with my own lovely lady downstairs. Thanks for turning it on again.
    You’re a wonderful writer, I hope to see more articles from you soon.
    Thank you.

    • There’s one called foria, or Wake and Bake gives a homemade recipe (which I’m planning on cooking up soon, tbh). Foria’s super pricey, though…

  11. I don’t know why people are so weirded out by this article. I loved it. I need to find me some of that stuff. I’m not big on smoking or ingesting weed through edibles, but I would totally dig something like this.

    This also isn’t a new thing – women have been getting high through their vaginas for literally centuries. In fact, this is where the phenomenon of witches “riding” broomsticks began. Search the blog for the article “Sex, Drugs, and Broomsticks: The Origin of the Iconic Witch.”

  12. I was wondering if you could tell us which one you used? Or suggest a brand? I live in Ohio and no place around here has it. I would love to try it!

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