Growing up Southern as a lesbian late bloomer
When you’re raised in a way that shields you from anything that’s different, it really alters your ability to think outside of the small little box that’s your world. Had I met someone when I was younger who was gay or bisexual, maybe there would have been bells and whistles going off and I wouldn’t have been clueless for so long. Who knows? But I was blind for a very very long time. I met a guy who I married, had a couple of kids, and that’s how the story was supposed to go…
…only it didn’t.
How I make it work as a dwarf parent
Being a dwarf parent has its own challenges, as I do some things differently in comparison to an average height person. There are also situations where I cannot always manage. Often I can be hard on myself and feel down about the fact I wish I could do more in the way of being able to pick Zelda up and carry her around when needed. I’m blessed to have my wife’s patience, as she reassures me that I am doing enough.
Here are a few things that we do to make it easier on everyone…
Coming out as polyamorous to family (how I did it and how it may help you!)
In the spring of 2015, I was planning my wedding. However, the elephant in the room was that I was in love with someone else. My non-fiancé partner was a huge part of my life, and I couldn’t imagine them not being at our wedding.
The problem was, I hadn’t told my family about the polyamorous aspect of my life or my long-established queerness. It was one of those things that I cowardly wanted to save until there was “something to report,” lest I draw my parents into my straight-presenting relationship and the hypothetical non-monogamous sex and love I was open to having with imaginary future people of indiscriminate gender.
How NOT to talk to pregnant women about their body
I’m not sure there is a right answer for how to talk to a pregnant woman about her body, unless you fully understand your own relationship with that woman, or her own relationship with her changing body. In all reality, the worst offenders don’t come from my well-intentioned friends and family. They happen out in the world when I’m least expecting it.
Here’s how not to talk to pregnant women about their bodies…
No place to hide at this horror geek maternity shoot guest starring Jason Voorhees
Jayme and David are the nerdiest of nerd parents and are welcoming their new baby with a bang. Their maternity session guest starred Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th. We’re a little late for our last Friday the 13th, but who would ever say no to a repeat event?!
This is a killer horror geek maternity shoot…
Microaffections as revolution: one response to mass shootings and lock-down drills
Then my daughter tells me that tomorrow in school, there will be a lockdown drill and asks me if the alarm will be loud. I freeze.
We need softness in the face of terror, we need kindness in response to hate, and we need love as revolution. We need these tiny drop of some magic healing warmth. We need the opposite of the microaggressions that so many of us deal with daily… and I realize that what we need are microaffections.
Resources for fathers-to-be that aren’t patronizing
Are there resources for fathers-to-be that aren’t weirdly gendered or patronizing? My husband isn’t an idiot and would love more information than “when can my wife have sex again?”, “when will I get to watch sports again”, or “how to do cope wife my wife’s craaa-aaaa-zzyyy hormones/body/cravings/etc?”
What’s the protocol for family photos with future in-laws?
I’ve been dating my partner for about two and a half years and we’re definitely on the road to marriage. He’s very close with his family and they are currently planning some family photos with my partner’s immediate family and his brother’s family (wife and kids). Since we’re not married, it feels weird to be part of their family’s photos, especially when I haven’t met them that many times (they live in another state).
Is it cool to have them take the photos without me? Is that even something you could safely suggest or should I just shut up and get in the picture?