What I’m learning from dancing poorly

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#Life#divorce#exercise#self improvement#Shitshow To Afterglow#spirituality#therapy

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About the Author: Ariel

@findyourafterglow

Author of three editions of the Offbeat Bride book and its sequel (From Shitshow To Afterglow, the ultimate offbeat breakup book) Ariel Meadow Stallings is the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire web properties. She lives in Seattle with her son. To read her latest work, follow @arielist.

Comments on What I’m learning from dancing poorly

  2. Thank you for this. I needed it today. The world feels so influx, and there’s so much transition and I’m struggling with feeling stagnant even though I’ve got good things going. It’s a nice reminder to remember surrendering and letting things be slow.

  3. This is one of the best stories I’ve read in a profoundly long time, and made me cry, and wish I had a dance teacher like that too. I miss having a body that does something more than (badly) carry my messed up brain around.

    • “I had a dance teacher like that too…” Remember that part of this story wasn’t me deciding to take a class that was being offered. I cold-called someone who’s work I admired and just asked her if she’d take me on as a student.

      Go find a dancer your admire, and learn from them. <3

  5. Thank you. I’ve been learning to play roller derby for the last year. I started without knowing how to skate at all. It’s definitely a challenge. Sometimes I leave practice feeling like a badass, other times I cry the whole way home. It’s so easy to forget how hard it can be to learn new things.

    • Oof, it’s humbling as fuck sometimes, yeah? I think it’s so important –especially as your brain gets older, and wants to settle into ruts around who you are or what you’re like. It’s important to keep learning, even (or rather ESPECIALLY) when it’s hard.

    • I’m in week three of fresh meat. And this piece is a really good way to say how I feel. I haven’t done something new and different and outside my normal capabilities in a very long time – this is a different kind of hard to the adulting, health problems, new studying kind of hard I’m used to. It’s hard work to go at your own pace in a group where your pace is slow in comparison – but I recognize I will get there in the end, and hopefully safe and with solid skills from going at my own pace!

  7. I think it’s so awesome that you’re volunteering your mind, spirit and body for such a challenge.

    My first thought on seeing these videos was ‘Man, I gotta work on my balance,’ and then… har har that’s what your therapist has been telling you for a while now.

    I struggle with physical balance because clumsy has been a part of my narrative since I was a tot. I don’t trust my body to hold me up, so I stare at the floor and pick my steps and–oh, falling over! But surrendering into the loving arms of thousands of years of biped evolution is inconceivable for me?

  8. Thank you for writing this! It is fascinating how we deal with challenge and learning something new. I’ve been feeling guilty for being all talk and no practice for like the past year. I’m trying to learn pinstriping and sign lettering (wow so very very difficult) and wrapping my head around the fact that I’ve got to put the hours in is haaaaard. But we keep going, that therein lies the path.

  9. I recently came to a revelation about myself, that I would rather be uncomfortable and anxious pushing myself, than sitting around bored and in a rut. So I really admire you for pushing your own boundaries. It makes me think about that saying people have about doing yoga “I bend so I don’t break.”

  10. I started Ballet as an adult last October and went through a similar process. It’s a group class, so double the embarrassment when I definitely started crying during the first class because I had no idea where my feet were. I cried a few times over Ballet class. How long do you put up with doing something you’re so BAD at?
    I tried to address this myself by setting my expectations low – I suck at this. I know I suck at this. My goal is to get slightly LESS sucky after a few months. And, you know what, I did get a little less sucky after a few months.

  11. Thank for sharing this. I’ve enjoyed following your dance journey on Instagram, but I really love how vulnerable you are to the process. And you’ve helped me articulate to myself why I was almost in tears in pilates class last week (the frustration! the mental expectations! life in general!)

    PS – how did you get your body so damn strong?!

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