To start this post, I’ll say, I feel torn. I married my husband just over a year ago, and since then, his sister told me that she is transitioning from female to a male. I was told long before the rest of the family, which made me feel good at first that I was trusted with that kind of information.
However, the rest of the family wasn’t informed, and I was asked to tell everyone before we all went to visit over the summer. To make things a little more challenging for everyone, Moe is now identifying as a gay male, which I think just confused the family even more.
Ever since that visit, things have been awkward…
My husband’s family still thinks this is a phase, and Moe* (not their real name) will just go back to being “herself” again when this gets old. They aren’t considering the fact that Moe has already started testosterone injections, and seems very set about this decision.
Thankfully, my husband is trying to be supportive of Moe, at least when they speak directly. But he still refuses to use male identifiers or pronouns when he is talking to me, or the rest of his family about it. Although, he has started using Moe’s new chosen name, so I think he is starting to come around.
My husband’s family, however, was already divided because of circumstances from years ago, and it makes me very sad to see this divide them even more. I just want everyone to get along, and I want Moe to be happy in whatever skin it is that makes him happy, whether that be male or female, it shouldn’t matter.
All the while, I try very hard to be supportive of Moe’s decision, and at the same time, I also try to be very sensitive to the fact that my husband and his family are less inclined to be supportive.
How do I remain loyal to both sides, but still support the choice to fully transition?
Anyone else have a transitioning family member? What were your experiences and best pieces of advice?