How to navigate your kids through that rigid gender concept phase

Categorizing the world (including based on gender) is a really important developmental phase and one that kids shouldn't be shamed for. However, introducing kids to many incarnations of gender is important. Kids categorizing and gendering items and people is based on what they see around them. I know this phase can be REALLY hard for a lot of gender-bending parents. Here are my tips for getting through this phase…

Does choosing an LGBTQ+ label mean you're THAT forever?

Some people have asked me: if I identify with a term today does that mean you always have to identify that way? The answer to that question can be complicated and contentious. Here’s my take: HELL FREAKING NO!

My heartfelt advice: Don’t worry so much about labels. Labels are great, but, in some ways, they’re also for cans.

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How sex toys empowered me after trauma & shame

In December of 2009, I bought my first sex toy, and it was incredible. Here was an entire industry dedicated to the act of bringing my body pleasure. Not for anyone else, but for my own enjoyment. And it wasn't presented as secretive and embarrassing and shameful: it was bright purple. And for the first time, my body felt like mine and my sexuality belonged to me. Since then, sex toys have been an active interest of mine, and I've learned a lot about them — and about how important they are.

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Will Tumblr's adult content ban be catastrophic for sex work and queer communities?

Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr's decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don't have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won't somebody think of the children?!).