Some people have asked me: if I identify with a term today does that mean you always have to identify that way? The answer to that question can be complicated and contentious. Here’s my take: HELL FREAKING NO!
My heartfelt advice: Don’t worry so much about labels. Labels are great, but, in some ways, they’re also for cans.
In December of 2009, I bought my first sex toy, and it was incredible. Here was an entire industry dedicated to the act of bringing my body pleasure. Not for anyone else, but for my own enjoyment. And it wasn’t presented as secretive and embarrassing and shameful: it was bright purple. And for the first time, my body felt like mine and my sexuality belonged to me. Since then, sex toys have been an active interest of mine, and I’ve learned a lot about them — and about how important they are.
Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr’s decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don’t have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won’t somebody think of the children?!).
Travis Alabanza is a London-based performance artist, writer, and fashion gurl. Released in 2017, Travis’ stunning chap book, Before I Step Outside (You Love Me) documents the experience of navigating public space as a trans person. Let’s hear what motivates Travis in fashion, writing, and performance…
My kiddo is biologically male, but when kids ask him if he’s a boy or girl, he says, “I’m me. I’m a person.” Kids, however, don’t accept this answer and pester him to the point of tears. I don’t know how to tell him the difference between boys and girls, or if I want to tell him that there is a difference at all (besides anatomically).
How do you explain gender to a four-year-old?
If you’re in the market for some new LGBT Pride Month gear, outfits, and accessories, ’tis the season. It’s June and we’re pulling out our rainbow wear! Before you say anything, consider sending your money to good places by grabbing merch from organizations like The Trevor Project, ACLU, or tossing an equal amount to your favorite cause.
But if you’re in need of some rainbow Pride right NOW (and want to Amazon Prime it to your house), we’ve got some to check out…