A teen mother, 15 years later

Guest post by Tanyell

My first-born is slowly but surely growing up! It amazes me that he is now 15 years old and will soon be driving. OH MY! I remember when I found out I was pregnant with him and I couldn’t believe it. Let me give you a little background…

I was only 14 years old, a cheerleader and on the track team; his dad was my first boyfriend, and I still played with my Barbies faithfully. In my mind, I was still a virgin. I know that’s hard to believe. But my son’s father and I had only played around, but never really had “sex,” so how could I have gotten pregnant?

No physical penetration ever took place, but during our moments of playing around, he ejaculated and boom! I was pregnant! I will never forget when the doctor told me and my mother I was pregnant. I said, “But I never had sex!” The doctor was surprised, so I explained to him what happened. He then asked me if my mother had ever talked to me about sex? Of course she had, but she hadn’t told me this information!

My mother refused to believe me and felt it was best that we terminate the pregnancy. Little did we know I was already 7 months pregnant! YEP, that is correct: I had no idea I was pregnant until I was seven months. I only found out at a routine doctor’s appointment. I had no clue! How is that possible? Well, I was very active which caused me to spot and, in my mind, have a period. So every month I would spot just a little. I didn’t know what the baby’s movement was and associated it with gas.

At my first check up, my mother learned I had not lied, and the doctor explained to her that my hymen was still similar to that of a child. My mother was amazed that she didn’t know as much about sex as she thought she did!

I decided I would parent my child, and be the best mother I could be to him. I would finish school, I would go to college, and I would not be a statistic. With the help and support of my family I was able to do just that! I got my first job at 15.

The first time I held my son in my arms, I thought “He is beautiful.” He brought me so much joy. I never really saw my son as a burden or hindrance. I remember fighting harder in college to get my own apartment so that he could come live with me! Although I didn’t plan this pregnancy, he was a blessing.

As I watch him grow into a man, I think “Wow, this is my son!” My handsome son. There are days he makes me so proud, and brings so much sunshine into my life, and there are days I want to strangle hold him tight! But in every essence and every day I thank God for my first born son.

So often I am out with him, and people say, “You look too young to have a son that old.” I smile and say, “I am!” I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology, I am a photographer part time, and working on my master’s in Marriage and Family. I am blessed to be married to an awesome man who provides so that I can stay home with my children.

My son turned 15 yesterday, and I was so proud to know that just 15 years ago I became his mother, and 15 years later he is a well-adjusted young man that has a bright future! I feel as though everything happens for a reason, and I believe that my son made me grounded! He was truly my blessing. He taught me how to truly love a person without judgment and how to not give up.

Comments on A teen mother, 15 years later

  1. What a beautiful, inspiring story! Hooray for strong women! Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂

  2. That’s an amazing and inspiring story — there’s so much horror and misdirection that goes into the teen mom stereotype, and to think that at fourteen you were able to make such a hard decision… It’s really flooring. Thanks for sharing!

  3. This is beautiful, inspiring and I thank you so much for being able to share your story.

    I am 19. I am two months pregnant and although I feel that I’m old enough and I can take care of my soon to be newborn. I feel as though that my family thinks that I’m too young. Unlike you we did have sex and I found out because my period stopped. I’m so glad that I have my finace who loves me and is just as excited as I am.

    I thank you for your story because it just proves that I can look after my child and go to college and be able to provide for my child in the future.

    • I believe being a mother makes you stronger and more determined than ever! When you hold that baby in your arms for the first time you realize this little person is depending on me! So no matter the negativity and odd looks you get just remember you have the most important FAN in your life! Your baby! They aren’t judgmental. They love us regardless of our age or circumstance! Make the naysayers your stepping stool to success! I Wish you well and thanks for reading!

  4. You totally put the girls that MTV show 16 and Pregnant to shame!!! (yes, guilty pleasure… 😡 )

  5. Congratulations on your beautiful family — you are one strong, POWERFUL Mama!

  6. This is such a different post than I’ve been seeing on here, but completely offbeat in a different way also. Great story, thanks for posting and thanks to Tanyell for sharing. Kind of crazy sounding, and some of your factors aren’t talked about much, but just as easy to happen.

  7. Holy Shit, I felt too young and immature to be a Mom at 25! You are amazing! Your son is lucky to have such a mature and loving Mother.

  8. Rock on!!! This is such an inspiration– when they make up their minds about it, mamas can do ANYTHING!

  9. This is really beautiful and I admire your determination. Your son is lucky to have such a wonderful mama and looks like a very happy young man!

  10. Thank you so much for posting this! I had my first daughter at 17 and have been fighting against the “teen mom” stereotype ever since. While a single teen mom I got a 4 year degree and have built up a career in my personal passion of theatre all while growing up and learning myself and my growing daughter. Now I’m about to be married to the wonderful father of my second daughter (9 months now!) My older daughter is now close to starting high school and is such an awesome kid I can be proud of. She thinks and stands up for herself. More mamas that joined the ranks as teens need to step up and break down those stereotypes! Good for you Tanyell!!

  11. Thank you for this inspiring story. One of my favourite things about offbeat mama is that it breaks down stereostypes and forces people to rethink their prejudices (some that they didnt even know they had).

    I’m ashamed to admit that when I hear “15 year old mom” I do tend to think negatively.

    Posts such as yours makes me realise that people should not judge. Being pregnant at 14 is really not that much different to being pregnat at 25 or 35. All moms want the best for their kids and regardless of their age or circumstance, have the ability to raise a fantastic kid and a loving family.

  12. Awesome. I’m also a (former) teen mother and my older son is also 15 now. He’s perfect. I’ve also gone to college, and now teach college students about art history. There’s a lot to love in my life today.

    I can’t stress enough that the key thing to my success as a teen mom was family support. If you ever end up with a teenager who is pregnant or whose partner is pregnant, don’t kick them out/fight/etc., this is the time to love them and be there for them. Whatever decision they make about the pregnancy, being there makes all the difference in the world.

  13. What a crazy, awesome story. Good on ya, mama, for raising such a beautiful child and taking care of yourself in the process despite the difficulty.

  14. Thanks for sharing your story! I also had my first baby when I was 15. She’s 15 now! It’s certainly nice to see other moms who went through the same things I did turn out so well.

    Great job! 🙂

  15. I loved reading this post! I got pregnant at 15 and had my son at 16. I graduated high school and college, and I’m currently getting certified to teach. Your story is one of a strong, powerful, determined mother. I wish people realized that being a “teen mom” is not always what is portrayed on T.V. Even though my son is only 7 I feel a deep connection with every other mom that was ever a “teen mom” and thank you for sharing your story.

  16. Thanks for everyone for the inspiring and kind words! Often times it is hard for a teen mom to come forward and share her story in fear of being ridiculed and judged, but you all have proven that sharing your story can be encouraging to others so I thank you for that!

  17. I am an 18 year old and have a two year old son. Though I don’t have as interesting a story as you do it does help me to read a story of success when I am surrounded by failure in my community, when it’s really hard to be home with him while I am trying to get school work done. I just wanted to say thanks for being awesome :]

  18. Wonderful story, I too was a teenage mum at 16yrs old. I am now 27 with a 2nd on the way, a amazing husband and a fantastic career in surgical nursing. Its not easy, but everything people say you “sacrifice” can never compare to the love i feel when my gorgeous 11yr old puts his arms around me every day! Great to hear other young mums out there do it properly and put their children first. xo

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