Category Archive

self improvement

How do you engage in offbeat self-care?

I’ve been investigating the concept of “self-care.” But sometimes the tips I find don’t really work for me, even though they work for other people. For example, some people find buying a new nail polish and then taking the time to paint their nails is relaxing and boosts their mood. So I thought that the Offbeat Homies would be a great way to come up with some novel ideas for self-care.

Positive demotions and Mental Health Awareness within relationships

My wife is bipolar. For her, that means a life full of mediocre, less-than-positive, contentment. And that’s all when she is at her absolute best. But we are working on understanding it. We are working together with individual therapists, a psychiatrist, a couple’s counselor, a bipolar support group, and National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Family-to-Family classes.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome as a polyamorous mom

Once upon a time, there was a woman. She lived in a polyamorous, sex-positive family. She liked people… just people in general. She thought they were beautiful, and loved to learn (and learned to love) the intricacies of their personalities. Physically, intellectually, emotionally — she saw their strengths and enjoyed them for what they were. But she couldn’t apply the same standards to herself.

I need to stop measuring success by how many friends I have

I’ve never had a great time of making friends at all in my life. I had a bit of a meltdown about this recently, thinking about how I have so few friends. I lamented, “I wish I was just at the stage of my life where I didn’t care anymore. Where I didn’t measure personal success by how many friends I have.”

FU A/S/L: I’m starting to care a little bit less about labels

It’s something unique to computer-goers of the Internet era: It’s important, we reasoned, when you’re taking to a stranger on the Internet that they know some important things about you in a succinct manner. A/S/L — age, sex, location. What religion we are. What our political leanings are. Our sexual orientation or gender presentation. Our favorite quotations or song lyrics. Things about us that are symbolic of our personalities, our likes and dislikes; our whole self. It’s a form of branding, and for years we were proud of it. It happened while I was on Facebook: I noticed that I was the only one going through a labeling crisis.

I am racist, and so are you: Recognizing and addressing racism in yourself

Here’s the deal. Racism isn’t just guys in white robes and Paula Deen shouting racial slurs. Racism is subtle, racism is insidious, and our culture is so deeply steeped in it that it’s impossible to grow up in the US and not be racist. And the sooner we both acknowledge this, the sooner we can begin to address the problem. So let’s talk…

How I learned to care less about my family and more about myself

My morning routine revolves entirely around my family. Most days I don’t bother eating breakfast, or making lunch for myself to take to work, because I am too focused on taking care of everyone else. While putting everyone before me can be considered a commendable trait, there is a part of me that realizes that there is a real issue with never allowing myself the opportunity to be important.

Be your own cheerleader against the zombies of self-doubt and celebrate your accomplishments

When you accomplish a goal, are you the type to doubt that your accomplishment is worth acknowledging at all? If you succumb to the zombies of self-doubt, you risk burnout, loss of motivation, and being generally bummed out. Besides that, the zombies are really not good for your self-esteem. I struggle against them myself. Here’s what I’ve come up with to try to help remind myself to be my own cheerleader and celebrate my accomplishments.