How to find yourself when you’re focused on raising someone else?
Younger mamas, I want you to know that us older mamas are just as befuddled at times as you are. I was in my mid-30s when I had my first child, and I don’t feel as if you ever finish the finding-yourself journey — nor would I want to. It’s part of the joy of being alive.
That said, here’s what’s helped for me to reconnect in areas of my life that need it…
Raising children on the spectrum when you are also on the spectrum
My son is diagnosed with Asperger’s and my daughter was diagnosed with moderate autism. Just recently my therapist told me that I fall on the spectrum too.
Being told that was like a door I had been pushing at finally opening and letting in the fresh air, I knew it I was different, I knew it in my bones since before I had my son, I just didn’t know how to speak about these things.
Advice to and from moms who (sometimes!) regret having kids
Real talk: Parenting is hard, and there are times when some moms regret having kids. Whether you’re in that position yourself, or have a friend who going through that… here are some great pieces of advice from women who have BEEN THERE. Here’s what moms who have (at one time or another) regretted being moms have to say about moms who regret having kids…
Chronic pain, depression & bread-winning: Is it selfish to have children?
I am 28 and the sole breadwinner in my household, my husband is long-term unemployed with chronic back pain and is unlikely to be meaningfully employed anytime in the foreseeable future. We both have mental health issues. We have been trying to conceive for over a year with no luck as yet, and I have been wondering more and more whether having a baby is a good idea.
When shared custody is multiplication rather than division: Or, how I became a mother of my brother’s child
My husband and I share custody with my brother and sister-in-law’s daughter. So how have two childless people adjusted to parenting an almost-tween?
The answer is: surprisingly well. And this is why…
Mothering without a mom: I worry that my mom abandoning me will negatively affect me as a mom
There seems to be a lack of discussion in the world around women who are disowned or cut off from their mothers. The only literature I can find is surrounding the death of a parent and, this is so so different…
I have a mom. She is alive and well. She doesn’t live far from me. But she considers me to be “dead,” and wishes I could just forget she ever existed.
Now I’m pregnant, and the “mom stuff,” as I call it, comes up frequently…
Balance for working parents in emotionally demanding jobs
After a particularly difficult day at work, I snapped at my 3-year-old over something minor that totally didn’t warrant such an overreaction. As I registered the hurt in her eyes, I realized what had happened — I had given so much of my patience to my students that day, there was none left for my own child when she needed it. After a good long cry and some consolation ice cream (for both of us), I knew I needed to start being more intentional about my work/life balance if I didn’t want my psyche to implode like a dying star of stress and guilt.
These are a few of the strategies I’ve put in place to preserve my sanity and ensure that everyone in my life—myself included—gets the care they deserve.
Is my offbeat lifestyle hurting my child?
In my town, like so many small towns, perception is everything. Thankfully over the years I’ve developed a thick skin. It didn’t matter to me what these people thought… until my daughter came into the picture. Then the fears ran rampant: Will she be invited to playdates? Will she be ashamed of me at parent-teacher meetings? Will she get in trouble for her inherited penchant for dark artwork? Is my outward appearance going to ruin her life? Will she hate me and wish I was a little more June Cleaver and a little less Morticia Addams?