Category Archive


My husband wants space and I don’t. Are we doomed?

My husband and I have been together for three years and always struggled with the balance of personal space. I don’t need to be alone at all — in fact I hate it. He is the opposite and thinks we should live apart, feels smothered…

How can our relationship survive if he doesn’t want to be around me 90% of the time? Isn’t him wanting to live separately just the first step in ending the relationship? Or is it already over, and I’m refusing to acknowledge it?

Shit. I think I may be non-monogamous. Now what?

I can’t deny it. I feel strong pulls to be emotionally, and perhaps down the road, physically involved with other men with whom I’ve developed emotional connections.

I recently told all of this to my husband. He met me with open arms and respects my feelings. But I don’t know how to sort through these feelings I’m having towards a new lifestyle…

The future of marriage is SO GAY: Eavesdropping on a human sexuality professor, Part 3

When I was in New York last month, I sat down for a chat with a friend of a friend who’s a professor of Human Sexuality. Hunter Kincaid is an visiting lecturer at Hunter College and an adjunct professor at Pratt University, and we met up to muse over about how anal sex is like homeschooling, the […]

Unexpected polyamory and what it taught me about myself

Polyamory isn’t something that I thought I’d ever be interested in. My husband and I were together for three years before I met someone who changed that. I struggled in the beginning with what to do. I couldn’t ignore my feelings for this new man, and cheating on my husband was out of the question. I knew I had to talk with him about these new feelings I was developing and what to do with them…

Screw the “romantic mystique” — let’s think about love

We base some of the biggest decisions of our lives on romantic love, and yet we resist actually examining love… for fear of overthinking it and somehow erasing its magic. FUCK THAT. We should all be thinking about this shit, since we all base huge life decisions on it. So, here’s some of my recent research…

My partner’s a catch, why don’t I feel relationship satisfaction?

When I was proposed to, I questioned it before ultimately saying “yes.” When what I thought about saying was “I guess.” He is an excellent catch, so why do I not feel confident in my decision to be with him?

Is this something that happens when you get married? Does every couple experience this?

How my silicone wedding ring represents marriage as a whole

After being diagnosed and struggling with Bipolar Disorder, I thanked my husband for all he had done, and I gave him a new wedding ring.

This one is silicone, and I have one to match. I still have my original gold wedding band, but my silicone ring now seems so much more of a real representation of marriage to me…

How to stay happily married while renovating

Huh? Is this really a serious issue? Unfortunately, it is. And I have been asked about it multiple times, since my wife and I have completed four separate renovations and, even though we went through some tough spells, we’re still happily married.

Here’s what we learned along the way, and what we did to remain happily married while renovating…