Friends are the family we get to choose for ourselves
There are a couple of clichés that get that way because they’re so damn true. Some that have been true for our family of two is that friends are the gods’ apology for families, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and friends walk in when everyone else walks out. My patchwork quilt of family is mostly made of beautiful friendships, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Families of two: You don’t need kids to “start a family”
I’m married, and, if things go according to plan, we won’t ever have kids. Or, as some of my family members have put it “start a family.” Now, I take issue with that phrase…
Why I rejected the garden that I can’t wait to have
Every spring I wish for a garden of my own, on my own little plot of land. Then one year, for my birthday, that guy I married suggested that he’d get me a plot at a community garden, citing my obsession with having my own garden one day. At first my reaction was “Aw, what a thoughtful idea.” And then my reaction was that of dread. WTF, Megan?
Why I got my tubes tied before I turned 30
When I first broached the subject of permanent, non-hormonal birth control with my gynecologist, I wasn’t even considering a tubal ligation. I had originally been trying to decide between the copper IUD and Essure. IUDs (intrauterine devices) are not permanent, but they do last a while. Essure (spring devices that are implanted in your fallopian tubes) is a fairly new procedure that can be performed in your gyno’s office but is permanent. I was leaning toward Essure because it was permanent and would only cost an office co-pay until this happened: “If I were you, I would just get my tubes tied.”
Can we send a “We aren’t having kids!” announcement to family and friends?
Recently, we got a “we eloped!” announcement from one of his cousins and he said “Wouldn’t it be great if we could send an announcement that we aren’t having kids!” I laughed, all “Yeah right,” but he really liked the idea. He said we could do it in a light-hearted way, but with a serious yet gentle note included that says we know everybody really wanted us to have kids, and we love everybody and thank them for their thoughts and opinions on the matter but we’ve decided that having kids just isn’t for us; we are looking forward to the many years we have to share together, and in sharing those years with everybody else, too.
I’ve ALWAYS been firmly in the “no kids” camp
I’ve always been firmly in the “no kids” camp. When I was 12, my mom took me to meet her gynecologist who became my gynecologist. When I was 16, this gynecologist and I made a deal that if I still didn’t want kids when I turned 25 he would tie my tubes. My long-term first boyfriend and I got pregnant at 17 and we decided to have an abortion. He was going away to school in another state. I could not raise a child alone. It was for the best. Neither of us regret this decision. He’s now happily married with two kids. I’m also happily married. Yay!
Why I’m tired of the mentality that marriage = babies
What I’ve been considering a lot lately, and what has been upsetting me, is that marriage seems to = babies according to common logic. I find myself not just frustrated as a woman that is simply not damn ready to have a baby yet, but also insulted for pretty much any family that has done things differently.
Friends are the family I’ve chosen for myself
There are a couple of clichés that get that way because they’re so damn true. Some that have been true for our family of two is that friends are the gods’ apology for families, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and friends walk in when everyone else walks out. My patchwork quilt of family is mostly made of beautiful friendships, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.