Feminist pastry party: Celebrating non-heteronormative relationships with baked goods!

Guest post by Chae-Bird

When life hands you lemons, make rainbow sprinkled cupcakes.
My good friend Matt brought this Jezebel article to my attention a few weeks ago. If you have no desire to read it or watch the video (I completely understand), the run-down is that this man leads Christian-based sex education lectures, and has some interesting ideas about how gay people have sex.

Now, while I respect everyone’s right to their beliefs, I personally find the belief that homosexuality is wrong, shameful, and unnatural to be abhorrent. So when I got to the part of the video in which the lecturer explained his views on homosexuality (using carrots and doughnuts as metaphors for male and female anatomy, respectively) by stating that “men were not created to sword-fight and women were not created to have pastry parties,” two thoughts immediately occurred to me:

  1. Is that how he thinks gay men have sex?
  2. A pastry party sounds like a freaking fantastic idea!

I invited a bunch of my queer, lesbian, bisexual, and ally friends over for a Pastry Party, where the wine flowed, cookies and cobbler were baked, and conversations about sexuality and heteronormativity were had. It was delightful…

Just because we don’t support dogmatic heteronormative gender roles doesn’t mean we don’t love aprons.
Making pumpkin snickerdoodles with pumpkin spice kisses on top.
Peach cobbler.
Chocolate-covered cherry cookies getting covered in ganache.
Butterscotch and peppermint chocolate meringues.
Ponyo was pretty excited about all the food
Eating and talking.
Everyone went home with a cookie sampler plate.

Of course, after everyone cleared out, I realized that all I’d eaten all day were cookies and cobbler… and also that “pastry party” is my new favorite euphemism for lesbian sex.

Comments on Feminist pastry party: Celebrating non-heteronormative relationships with baked goods!

  1. I am saddened that there are no recipes here. Also, I now have some really big hopes that Offbeat Home will have a Christmas Cookie recipe trade about a month from now.

  2. This is the best idea ever. Hooray for dismantling the kyriarchy via delicious sugar!

    And frilly aprons. The caption about the aprons gets my nomination for best caption in the entirety of the internet.

    • Aw, thanks! I love my aprons. I have a collection of them.
      It’s funny because people who don’t know Mr. Bear and I that well often assume that we’re very traditional when it comes to gender roles and such, and that I’m the traditional housewife, and that we also must be very religious. Aprons come with a lot of baggage, it seems.

  3. Okay, I will bug my ladies about the recipes and post them in the comments section. 🙂

    Pumpkin cookies
    3 cups flour
    1 cup brown sugar
    1 cup white sugar
    1 cup pumpkin
    1 tsp baking powder
    2 eggs
    Mix until sticky, put one handful extra flour in bowl and mix until fully incorporated.
    Bake at 375 for 12-15 minutes.
    The tips will not brown, so watch them or the bottoms burn. 😉

    • For lack of another word: Wow.

      I’m trying really hard, but I can’t seem to figure out how somebody could write “In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party” with a straight face.

      Can’t wait to hear about scheming for the next party!

  4. Wow, metaphor fail. Aren’t metaphors supposed to help you visually and emotionally connect with a concept on a visceral level? Because I’d much rather have two carrots or two doughnuts than some bizarro carrot-doughnut combo. If I were to take that as an indication of what sort of sexuality I should support or denounce… well, you see where I’m headed.

    • Yay! I love when people check out the blog! Thanks!
      I had a bunch of friends who couldn’t make it to the Pastry Party, so I’m already planning another. It really is the perfect combination; cookies and sex.

  5. This post cracks me up so hard!

    I linked it to a friend of mine and his response to “men were not created to sword-fight and women were not created to have pastry parties,” was “Has this guy not met men or women?”

  6. I only have a few friends who are LGBT and I am still going to have a pastry party. We all love to bake, we all love each other and we all love our lady parts! Such an awesome idea, I’m into any party that the focus is love!

  7. I have to say, I love the picture with the chocolate-cherry cookies, not only because they look delicious, but because, due to the Instagram effect on the photo and the fact that those cookies look totally retro by themselves, it looks like you clipped it out of a cookbook from the 70s. 😀

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