By: Kate Haskell – CC BY 2.0 My husband hates lotion. He thinks it’s completely disgusting. I can’t even get him to wear sunscreen, despite his history of precancerous moles. Although this is worrisome to me, I’ve always chosen to avoid this battle. Which was fine until we had our baby four months ago.
Our little girl has super-sensitive skin, just like her mama. She is very susceptible to diaper rash and has some eczema, particularly on her scalp. We use cloth diapers — a decision my husband was totally on board with. When we put disposables on her, she breaks out in a rash no matter how much diaper cream we put on. If she is adequately lubed up, I can keep her little bum clear in the cloth diapers. BUT…
My husband finds the diaper cream so yucky on his own fingers that he’ll hardly touch the stuff, let alone cover her bum with it properly. Every single time he puts her heavier night diaper on, she wakes up with a rash. In fact, if he changes her more than twice in a row, she’ll get a rash. We’ve “discussed” (read: argued about) this, and he says it makes no sense to him to put something moisturizing on her if wetness is the problem. I’ve explained the science of barrier creams to him and he says it baffles him. I find myself thinking he’s just trying to justify his own bad parenting. I know that’s a mean thing to think.
I’m at a loss. In most other ways, he’s a wonderful father and husband. I hate to see her in pain from diaper rash but I don’t want to have to do every diaper change myself. Please, please tell me: how do you deal with a partner’s quirks and preconceptions when you believe they are negatively impacting your baby? — Jenny
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Comments on How can I deal with my partner’s baby-unfriendly quirk?
We worked around things with hubby and found alternatives that worked for both. I like the spray suncream idea.
As for the rashes: my daughter was super easy to get them. Doctor had me stop all creams 9n account that they lock in moisture. We now dry her out thoroughly with a hairdryer (seriously, and carefully so as to not burn her of course) and just diaper her. Only cream is a dab of neosporin when she poos to kill bacteria.
If she gets diaper rash which has happened when new people at the daycare have taken care of her, then plenty of diaperless time, and a bit of cream.
I wasn’t able to determine your baby’s age, have you considered potty training? If she’s sitting up by herself without too much support- it may be worthwhile to pop her on a baby- potty or even hold her over your adult toilet & making ‘wuzz’ sounds right after she’s had her feed.
The work that goes into potty-training might convince her Dad that creams are better. Just sayin’
My husband also does not like the feel of lotion – we have found some compromises. There is a type of diaper cream sold in a stick- like a deoderent stick that applies without having to put your fingers in the goo.
The important thing is to face it directly- he cant handle cream- its time to problem solve around his aversion instead of pretending that diaper cream is silly or that skin cancer cant kill his childs father.
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We worked around things with hubby and found alternatives that worked for both. I like the spray suncream idea.
As for the rashes: my daughter was super easy to get them. Doctor had me stop all creams 9n account that they lock in moisture. We now dry her out thoroughly with a hairdryer (seriously, and carefully so as to not burn her of course) and just diaper her. Only cream is a dab of neosporin when she poos to kill bacteria.
If she gets diaper rash which has happened when new people at the daycare have taken care of her, then plenty of diaperless time, and a bit of cream.
I wasn’t able to determine your baby’s age, have you considered potty training? If she’s sitting up by herself without too much support- it may be worthwhile to pop her on a baby- potty or even hold her over your adult toilet & making ‘wuzz’ sounds right after she’s had her feed.
The work that goes into potty-training might convince her Dad that creams are better. Just sayin’
My husband also does not like the feel of lotion – we have found some compromises. There is a type of diaper cream sold in a stick- like a deoderent stick that applies without having to put your fingers in the goo.
The important thing is to face it directly- he cant handle cream- its time to problem solve around his aversion instead of pretending that diaper cream is silly or that skin cancer cant kill his childs father.