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If you’re a longtime reader, you may have noticed that we’ve consciously made a decision to move away from using language such as “natural” to describe childbirth. In fact, it’s been a huge mission of mine to make sure all our birth stories are told in a way that is supportive and positive. This is partly because of Offbeat Families’ values, and partly because of my own.
Instead of perpetuating the “natural” versus “unnatural” birth drama, we opted to change the terminology used on Offbeat Families to “unmedicated” and “medicated” childbirth. We did so for a few reasons, one of which is that describing one kind of birth as “natural” and another as otherwise is inherently divisive.
I delivered my son Jasper in a hospital with an epidural administered in the last few hours. It didn’t take affect, but it was still in my system — does this mean my birth was less natural because medicine was involved? As you might recall, Ariel’s son Tavi was born via cesarean section — is that birth any less wondrous because it wasn’t vaginal?
Our answer? Nope. Not a bit.
Does this mean that the choices you make before, during, and after giving birth don’t matter? Of course not. Does this mean that we’re trying to strip you of the power and wholly awesome experience you had birthing your child at home without any medication? Hell no. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from you guys (and believe me, I have learned WAY more than I ever thought I would), it’s that each parenting experience, from conception (if you consider yourself a parent at that point) all the way to wherever you are right now, is unique, powerful, and important. It all matters.
Breech babies and birthing plans
Let's backtrack to the 37th week, two weeks before Alice was born. Henry and I went to my weekly check-up together, to have "The Talk"... Read more
So here are my questions for everyone: who started this whole debate? Who deemed one birth “natural” and another “unnatural?” Who decided to pit woman against woman, mother against mother? More importantly: why do we, as women, as mothers, allow these terms to continue to define our experiences and allows us to look down on one another?
I don’t have the answers to those, but I do have a solution: let’s change it.
So, you had a “natural birth,” right? Awesome, because so did I.
I think we should just call things as we see them:
vaginal childbirth = vaginal childbirth
cesarean = cesarean
epidural = pain medication administered in the back which comes with its own set of risks/benefits
I would rather see women be properly informed by unbiased professionals about the risks/benefits of each way to labor and give birth. It is unfortunate that so many women are treated by doctors who are afraid of being sued for malpractice and intervene more than is necessary.
I do think that there is an enormous gap in terms of birth knowledge in this culture. It’s led to skyrocketing cesarean rates and a maternal and infant death rate that is much too high for a developed nation.
Let’s get past the blame game and educate people.
Also, just because you choose to formula feed/disposable diaper/not attachment parent/whatever it doesn’t make you less of a parent. Most of the crap you probably get is a reaction to generations of people being told that they shouldn’t breastfeed/attachment parent/etc.
I really disagree with this post. You have confused a word for a judgment. The word “natural childbirth” is actually a retronym. It was just “childbirth” until women felt they needed a descriptive term to distinguish between a birth without interventions and the medicalized experience of childbirth. The term “natural childbirth” has been in use for many years, since the 70’s at least, when women first wanted to escape the horrors of twighlight sleep. It simply means that childbirth is proceding in the traditional sense. It is ridiculous to call it “unmedicated”! That implies that the normal way is “medicated”. That’s like saying “I got their by undriving” or “I ate unintroveinously”. I don’t see the problem here. Natural childbirth is a descriptive retronym and has been a part of the vocabulary for over 30 years at least. Only about 5 to 10% of women have a natural childbirth, so they actually the ones in the minority here. What is threatening about a small percentage of women using a term that describes their own experience for them? Why is a simple word seen as a judgment on the majority of women? And who ever said that any childbirth experience should be called “unnatural”? I can describe my own experience using the words I feel describe it, and you can use your own words. I strongly disagree with policing the words that people use. I had one vaginal birth in the hospital which was medicated. I had one natural birth at home. I am the one who gets to decide what I call them, and you can decide what to call your own birth experiences.
You absolutely have the right to use whatever words you want to describe your birth. I think the point is that OffbeatMama won’t be using the word “natural” in their own descriptions.
I agree with making this distinction. I had no drugs, but I don’t feel at all that my birth was “natural.” What’s natural about hanging off the edge of a table with my feet in stirrups, with a doctor and two nurses shouting at me to push to the count of ten and a perinatologist trying to introduce himself to me while I was pushing?
For me, a “natural” birth would be one where I got to follow my instincts. Ideally, I’d be alone, in a cave or forest glen, and catch my own baby. I really don’t think this is going to happen. But the question, I guess, is this: how natural do you WANT your birth to be? Was it natural enough to suit you? Then it was natural enough.
I disagree with the comments that the key to better maternity care is more education. British and Dutch women don’t have fewer interventions and, not coincidentally, lower rates of infant and maternal mortality, because they are individually better educated. They have fewer interventions during birth because they are giving birth within medical systems which are more conducive to evidence based maternity care and lower intervention birth. All of the education in the world is only going to get you so far if your state effectively outlaws your preferred birthing method, or your insurance company will only cover certain obstetricians, or almost no-one is trained in how to assist in vaginal breech delivery, or you can’t trust your obstetrician not to lie to you or perform procedures against your will. Saying that women need to be better educated about birth just throws the responsibility back on the individual woman rather than acknowledging that pregnant women shouldn’t have to fight the medical system to receive appropriate care.
Sam- you are absolutely right about changing the medical system in order to provide the best possible care to women! I, unfortunately, do not see that happening anytime soon. So, we women, are left with the responsibility of advocating for ourselves. And in order to advocate appropriately and ensure the best outcome, we must be provided with the education and resources necessary to make our own choices. Most big hospitals and OB practices do not offer comprehensive pregnancy and labor education. They are usually 3 hour single-session classes that talk about birth in a short period of time. The birthing classes that I have attended are 3 hour 12-session classes that show a variety of different birthing choices and talk about the various stages of labor and delivery. This kind of education should be mandatory as far as I am concerned.
THANK YOU. I’m not a parent and I may never be one, but the whole “natural” childbirth thing has always pissed me off. Not because I don’t think women have every right to choose how they give birth and that our current system is flawed, but because it always felt like another way to make women and mothers feel bad about themselves. So thank you, Stephanie, for giving a voice to this!
– Becca
If you are interested in reading about where a lot of our medical terms used to describe reproduction originated (and implied sexism in many of these terms), read The Woman in the Body: A Cultural Analysis of Reproduction by Emily Martin
http://www.amazon.com/Woman-Body-Cultural-Analysis-Reproduction/dp/0807046450
I read it for an anthropology class and though it is a bit dated, it is really relevant for the ‘natural’ terminology discussion here.
Wow, your comments about pitting women against women really hit home for me. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant and I have been very excited by the prospect of what I have been calling a home “natural” birth (all assuming I can get pregnant and assuming I don’t have high risk factors that make a home birth unsafe). Anyway your article reminded me that words have power. And the word “natural” carries a lot of weight and in using it I am demeaning the choices of other women (even if it is done unintentionally). I’m going to use new terminology to describe whatever birthing decisions I make. Thank you for pointing it out.
i had a cesarean delivery with my first, who was transverse, and v-bac with my second. i’m currently 5 months pregnant with my 3rd and have the choice of going either way. i have opted to try for v-bac again, but as long as my baby and i are safe and healthy i’ll be happy with either.
This has been a really great post and discussion.
I’m a feral homebirther – in water no less! My eldest was a transfer to hospital, but my youngest two were waterborn at home, less than 12 months apart. Our living room floor boards have a great, big, round watermark where we forgot to put a drop sheet under the pool for my last birth. Both babes were born in the same pool, in the same spot, with the same midwife. I love my births. I had trust in myself, and in my babes, and I knew that this was right for us.
But I can only talk to other homebirth mammas about it, because almost no-one in my circle of friends or family want to know. They think that by choosing to homebirth, I’m judging their choices. Only my aunt and two close friends know my birth stories IRL.
People can relate to ceasarean births. Hell, I was born by ceasar! But I’ve found that people rarely relate to homebirth, and it is terribly isolating.
“natural” as a label sucks for everyone.
For the record, I totally appreciate and respect the inclusive tone here, and I would never advocate the intentional use of hurtful language. I think sensitivity in communication is noble and worthwhile. I fully support every mother’s right to her own choices surrounding birth, and to her own feelings and opinions.
But… I’m worried that this all-encompassing use of the word “natural” (or its omission all together) in the birth discussion is distracting and counter-productive, not to mention fallacious.
I don’t see how describing an un-medicated, vaginal birth as “natural” implies that any other birth is not as good. At worst, it implies that other ways of giving birth are unnatural. But unnatural is not synonymous with “bad”, “less” or “wrong.” It’s simply the opposite of “natural”, which means, as per the most common definition: “Existing in or caused by nature.” Cesarean deliveries and epidurals are not existent in or caused by nature, except to the degree that humans are a part of nature. But then if all things created by humans count as natural, what does the word “natural” even mean? Nothing. Plastic bags, boob jobs, cocaine and HD TV would all be “natural”. On the other hand, if we stick with the actual definition of “natural”, let us be reminded that poison oak, tornadoes, herpes and mosquitoes are all perfectly natural. Does that make them good? Of course not.
There are plenty of words in the English language that actually, by definition, imply something that should hurt our feelings. “Natural” is not really one of them. We can always assign our own meaning to words, but choosing to be hurt by someone’s use of the word “natural” to describe a birth seems like an unintended and unnecessary source of grief. There’s no position you’ll ever have that you’ll be judged more harshly for than that of mother, no matter how you choose to do it. You’ll have practically endless opportunities to be hurt by the judgmental criticisms people (often other mothers) will unleash upon you. And that sucks. But do yourself a favor, and don’t create judgmental criticisms where there probably are none. Focus on being the best mother you can be, whatever that means to you. If you know you’re doing what’s right for you and your kid/s as best you can, you can let go of all the comments and criticisms. That’s where you have the power to rise above all the judgment. Trying to change other people’s choices in language will only waste your energy.
here here. I agree entirely.
Many people commenting are still making the point that if they had a Cesaerean birth it was because it was necessary/for medical purposes/not her own choice. I can understand that if this kind of procedure was ONLY necessary and was something that normally would have been the last choice that can be upsetting, the control and choice is removed which is scary and horrible. However, I have two cousins each had a baby about a month apart, both were Cesaerean births, both were elective. One because of the dangers to her if vaginal birth was attempted (she’d had surgery just before falling pregnant) the other was purely through choice, I haven’t asked her what motivated her to make this decision and as I am due in Aug I may ask her as part of educating myself, so I know all the options. Each situation produced beautiful baby girls, Skye and Ella. Both of my cousins are loving and dutiful mothers. Each relay to me with gusto the stories of their births and how special the experiences they had were to them and their partners. I feel the term ‘natural’ is bandied about more than it ought to be but the intension behind the term is dictated by the speaker and the inference by the listener. If you feel judged, this is something you need to express, but because you feel judged does not always mean that someone else is looking down on you. I don’t know, I haven’t been through it but I agree that education and being aware of all/most of the possibilities can have a massive impact on how a mother feels about the birth she has. Control and the feeling of having a choice plays such an important part of emotional well-being in all other aspects of life, why should it be taken away here? I send love and respect to all mothers, you’re marvellous people. I so look forward to joining you.
A different perspective, and one I’ve only seen a few times in this long list of comments: For all the women who feel guilty or feel like a “failure” for not having what they thought of as a natural birth, please remember: just 100 years ago, 1 in 100 births ended in the mother’s death, and as many as 1 in 4 babies didn’t live to see their first birthday. That is what it means to “let nature take its course.” Just like you don’t have to die of cholera and tuberculosis anymore, you don’t have to die in childbirth– please don’t think of it as unnatural, think of it as a miracle (of human ingenuity) !!
It’s always my home that women who are pregnant keep an open mind. When I get pregnant, I hope to have an unmedicated birth-but if it doesn’t happen, I won’t beat myself up about it. So many things can go awry. My fluid levels could drop. I could have a child in breech position. I could be in labor for a very long time and need an epidural to keep me going. I know someone who had planned an unmedicated water birth and ended up requiring a cecerian. She was depressed until I told her gently “You son is no less perfect and beautiful because you had a surgical birth.” Any kind of birth is just that-welcoming a new baby into the world.
LOVE IT. After my daughter was born by emergency c-section after an attempted “natural” home birth, I was smacked off my self-righteous pedestal and realized the truth you speak of. I think it’s great that we share our birth stories with each other, but to share and receive without the judgement of what is better or worse…just like every other aspect of parenting, we’re all doing what we think is best, we’re muddling through it in our own ways, and what we really need to do is support and love one another.
Leyla, I can see where you’re coming from, but how would I begin to describe my munchkin’s arrival? I planned a water birth in a midwife unit (thankfully attached to a maternity hospital), but wasn’t able to because of my waters breaking over 24 hours earlier. Then she got her head wedged in my pelvis, so I wasn’t even getting any urges to push, and after 36 hours she ended up being delivered by forceps in an operating theatre! Technically a vaginal birth, but probably not ‘natural’!
It never bothered me, though because as far as I was concerned the whole point was the tiny baby I was left holding. The reason we give birth in the first place is for the baby, not to experience it, surely? Although I can understand how some women may feel (or be made to feel) like they didn’t do it ‘properly’.
And I’d do it again like a shot!
So many women still making apologies for their cesareans. It’s sad. Well, I make none. I had a totally elective cesearean. I had to talk my doctor into it. I LOVED it. No drama. No pain. Just scheduled wonderfulness. And a perfect baby boy was born (with a beautifully-round c-section head, as one nurse said!). I wouldn’t necessarily call it natural. But it was normal, uneventful and wonderful. I have no war story to brag about because I didn’t want one. I wanted a child, not birth-bragging rights. Shame on you mamas who try to tear other mamas down because they don’t do things they way you did them.
I must say (after a failed natural birth the first time ending in c-section) I’m actually looking forward to my next baby being born planned c-section.
Labour was worse than torture for me and I hated the extra 2 weeks of being pregnant, and the not knowing when she was coming and the waiting (and the waste of 2 weeks maternity leave).
I feel like I’m actually going to ENJOY my birth experience next time (through c-sec) and only getting to 39 weeks instead of 42. And being able to plan around it. As you said, no drama no pain. The recovery was pretty good for me after the emergency c and I’m told its even easier when elective.
When people tell me “dont worry you can try again next time”, for some reason people seem surprised and disappointed when I say I dont want to try natural again. I wont apologise for wanting to have my next birth experience MY way.
Totally agree that “natural birth” is a loaded, outdated, irrelevant expression. I cant stand it when I get asked if I had a natural birth. Usually the asker wants to know if I delivered vaginally. Sometimes they want to know if labour was drug-free. I never know how to answer! So, in revenge, I give them the very long and detailed version of my birth story 🙂
I think that women who have their babies without medical pain management are, and should be, incredibly proud of themselves. I don’t think that it’s gloating, or superiority, just wanting to share a huge accomplishment. I encourage drug free deliveries mostly because it is a huge self esteem boost for the women who have them. If I can give birth without drugs, I can do anything! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told myself that! (disclaimer, I had an epidural with one of my three births and I don’t beat myself up over it). On the other hand, some women need drugs to be able to have a vaginal delivery, and that doesn’t make their births any less amazing. It’s not the drugs that I have a beef with, it’s the culture that tells women that EVERYONE needs drugs to accomplish something that we have been doing for millions of years without intervention.
And technically, delivering a baby through an abdominal incision IS unnatural. But so is insulin, and radiation therapy, and organ transplantation, but the term unnatural doesn’t have a negative connotation when associated with any medical procedure besides the c section. While I am one of the first to rage about the high rate of unnecessary c sections caused by a cascade of unnecessary interventions, sometimes c sections save lives. And sometimes physicians use scare tactics to manipulate women into having c sections, and no one can blame a woman who decides to have c section based on the “dead baby card.”
In the end, we are all mothers, and how our babies came into the world doesn’t make us any less or any better than anyone else.
“but the term unnatural doesn’t have a negative connotation when associated with any medical procedure besides the c section”
I’ve never heard the term “unnatural” used to refer to any medical procedure, including a cesarean, but more importantly, the only time other than birth that I hear people talk about “natural” treatments is when they are talking about something that isn’t a medical procedure at all. I honestly don’t know what situations you’re referring to when you say that the term doesn’t have a negative connotation elsewhere.
Thank you for writing this!!! I turned to Offbeat Bride as an engaged bride-to-be, and in the early stages of pregnancy, I’m so happy that Offbeat Home is supportive and truly inclusive.