Covert stoner tips for hiding your stash

Guest post by Barbie
Purple Diesel, Big Jar

Covert stoners are my favorite type of pot smokers. We don’t smoke at parties, we don’t talk much about getting high, and the only people who know we smoke are the people we let know. While I wish we didn’t need to be covert, I’m not going to argue with the legal realities in the US.

If you want to be a covert smoker, you’ve got to be able to control the circumstances. Keep it secret, keep it safe, all that shit.

Here’s how a covert smoker advises you to hide your pot

Sure you could always go for one of those can safes, but we feel like there are more elegant, and more DIY approaches to stoner stashes.

  • Use a low-smell method. Vaporizers don’t put off much smell, so you can smoke in your room and when your friends come over a few minutes later, they’ll never know.
  • Get it in glass. Not only is storing in glass better for taste, but glass is extra air tight to prevent that ziplock smell leak. Little jam jars like this are ideal, as the lids can be screwed down tight, but they’re still small enough to hide away.
  • Make it hard to find, but not TOO hard. A friend once hid an eighth in the hollowed out back of a wooden zebra head that mounted on the wall…when he was stoned. He didn’t find it until almost a year later, when he was moving out.
  • Vintage lunchboxes make awesome stash-boxes, especially if they’re innocuously tucked sideways into a bookshelf.
  • Speaking of bookshelves, this ring book from Offbeat Bride would work excellently for, uh, other things. Too lazy to make one? You can always buy one.

Other covert smokers, report! (But please use a pseudonym with your comment — we don’t want to inadvertently out anybody!) What are your tricks for hiding your secret identity?

Comments on Covert stoner tips for hiding your stash

  1. @ Mary, YOUR CAT IS AWESOME!

    I have “recreated” over the years and always on the DL. I have kept my stash in VHS tape boxes for really bland movies that no one would want to watch, underneath the base of my bedside lamp (Just rip off that ugly dumb velvety cover thing), in a pretty fancy colored bottle among my antique perfume bottle collection and (my favorite)in a washed out green crayola finger paint container.

  2. I enjoyed this post immensely, and im not a smoker πŸ™‚
    We all have something to hide, so thanks for the tips! My hidey holes have included empty m&m minis cylinders in the small pockets of backpacks, behind rows of framed pictures on shelves, and within mint tins (amongst mints when smell is a factor.. be careful though. Seal your non-mints with plastic, and place them UNDER the mints to avoid mishaps.)

  3. Organic & Fair Trade Gypsy brand tea tins. Sampler tins are best because my grinder fits in one layer, old crumbly if-stock-is-sad back up in another layer and the top two layers are good stuff. Not likely good if you’ve got kiddos or friends that help themselves to tea and aren’t down.

  4. Man, I used to smoke a little but now that I have moved I know of nowhere to find it in my area. I’m always afraid to ask around because I don;t know very many people here and those I do know aren’t smokers. Any tips?

  5. I keep mine in a ceramic jar I made for my boyfriend, it says ” I <3 Snacks" on it so I figured it was a fitting spot πŸ˜‰ We also found that if you exhale into a paper towel tube with fabric softener sheets stuffed in it all you smell is laundry which is really useful when your landlord is living above you!

    • any other ideas to keep it hidden from landlords, our house is a no smoking rental. we never smoke in the house unless its herbal so to speak which you cant exactly smoke on your front door step like we do with cigarettes. im always affraid of the landlord dropping by (as they are also my boss and we occasionaly see each other socially) one evening and smelling smoke in the house!

    • The paper towel/toilet paper roll with dryer sheets stuffed inside works really well. If you want to be extra careful, still blow it out the window but any of the blow back smoke really does just smell like laundry.

      I’ve stashed stuff in winter boots in my closet during the summer season. Or put a bag in the pocket of a lesser worn jacket. Because who is really going to go through the pockets of my old clothes besides me? But I also don’t have kids so that makes it a lot easier.

  6. Interesting article I will pass on to some friends. But I’m the strange one in the group. I have never smoked and likely never will.

  7. My husband converted an old, broken Xbox into a stash box. Nerdy AND creative! πŸ™‚

  8. I don’t smoke, but naturally I do hide other things, sometimes in a dorm.

    If you have a piece of furniture with completely removable drawers, there’s nearly always empty space in the base, below the bottom drawer. This is good for larger items.

    For smaller stuff, just stick it at the back/bottom of a (lock?) box labeled, like, SCHOOL LEGAL FORMS or MEDICAL DOCS. Not even I ever look in those.

    • I don’t know. Now that a lot of people are suggesting hiding things in there (like during the sex toy discussion), I might start searching them. xD

  9. I’ve never really thought about hiding my happy broccoli any more than I do, which is inside of a small box. Although the idea of hiding and hunting later on is great and now I find myself looking for fun hiding spots.

  10. Ha ha – it’s like Easter!

    At my college on Easter there was always an Easter-Beer hunt in the library. πŸ™‚

  11. There are some great ideas in this article. We aren’t smokers but my husband suffers from chronic pain so he has rx pain killers around the house. It has proven to be too much of a temptation for some of our house guests…So this gives me some ideas to stash some of his “goodies”.

    I can also attest to the tp tube with dryer sheets in it. Watching a movie at a friends house, her husband was behind the couch I was sitting on and I didn’t figure out what he was doing till I went to get some water.

  12. We only began smoking when we got our own house and we still don’t have any children. Also, in my country you can have some weed with you, up to a certain amount, without it being illegal. Finally, using drugs is not illegal (just selling… funny, right? since one can’t happen without the other) so we even smoke in our veranda, though we have a cop neighbour.
    We always kept it in a transparent box in the medicine drawer, but recently we realized we have to hide it better because while we were abroad my mom needed something from our house and ended up looking in that drawer… but if she saw it, she didn’t say anything.
    When we have kids, we’ll definitely have to keep it out of their hands (and account for curiosity).

  13. I always just hid the stash under a false bottom of one my dresser drawers,all the drawers were the same size but this one it was almost twice as deep it was like it was made to hide my weed. I’ve also seen stashes inside a vase with fake flowers on top. Or you could go the route of my uncle and hide it in a glass jelly jar in the underside a hollowed out candle.

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