How my native language and Down syndrome shifted my perspectives on privilege
There’s a word in Korean “삐딱이”, or “bbiddaki.” I’ve heard it translated as “rebel,” but my mom says it is closer to “sarcastic.” I think a very literal translation would be “one who stands crookedly.” I’ve been chewing this over for a while, and I think my peeps are onto something…
Triangles, boundaries, and Spidey Senses: Ending relationships with difficult family members
Remember that post about how to maintaining a relationship with difficult family members? I’m about to drop some deep family secrets on this site today. My solution to maintaining relationships with difficult siblings is this: Fucking DON’T. I don’t know if I can offer the definitive advice on the topic of ditching difficult family members, but I can offer up a few insights from my own 30+ years of experience…
Help! Work is killing my sex life
Now that we’ve finally reached a level of experience and graduated from junior status, we are finding that our jobs require more of our effort and more of our time. So much so that by the end of the day we are both so zapped out that we can barely do the household things at home before collapsing in bed, which has totally killed our sex life! I’d love to hear how other Homies have managed to retain the energy and carve out the time for sex and intimacy when your jobs are demanding.
Online dating: some reviews, some tips, some little green ghouls
My ex and I started dating when I was 19, and we were together for seven years. That’s a lot of Formative Time in a monogamous relationship. Now I’m single. And being single is awesome. Dating is also awesome. …Kind of. Sometimes? Well, it’s definitely a thing, and it’s new to me. So, I decided to try out some dating sites. What a trip.
How and why endometriosis caused me to voluntarily become a single mother at 22
I know that I am the one who needs to get up with her every time, without exception. I have no one to be angry and resentful towards because they don’t live up to whatever expectations I have put in place for them. I’ll never worry about a custody battle or if her dad will let her get a tattoo after I say no. Doing everything yourself is immeasurably easier when you know that is the case from the start. Sure, there are great men out there and resentment is not always the case — I just prefer the ease of not worrying about maintaining a relationship along with my other responsibilities. A personal choice, for sure, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
7 people; 1 bathroom: Learning to love moving back in with my family
I love my family very much, but when I moved away in 2006 I wasn’t looking back. I loved the freedom and thrived on being independent. Then financial disaster struck. I realized that my whole life was about to be packed up in boxes, and my marriage was about to be squeezed into a 5-by-5 bedroom in my parents house.
Why I got my tubes tied before I turned 30
When I first broached the subject of permanent, non-hormonal birth control with my gynecologist, I wasn’t even considering a tubal ligation. I had originally been trying to decide between the copper IUD and Essure. IUDs (intrauterine devices) are not permanent, but they do last a while. Essure (spring devices that are implanted in your fallopian tubes) is a fairly new procedure that can be performed in your gyno’s office but is permanent. I was leaning toward Essure because it was permanent and would only cost an office co-pay until this happened: “If I were you, I would just get my tubes tied.”
I’m ready to start trying to have a baby and my husband isn’t: how can I move the conversation forward?
My husband and I have been married for seven years. We’re both gainfully employed and in our mid-thirties… and I think that 2014 should be the year we make the decision to start trying for our first child. But here’s the thing: while I’m ready to start trying to bake a kid, my husband isn’t, and I’m at a loss as to how I should tell him that I feel like it’s time for us do this thing.