Family member in the middle: Being stuck between two family members who aren’t talking to each other
Every adult family relationship dynamic is different. For me, our difficulty is that my older brother, who I am very close to, will not talk to our dad. My brother knows I will not cut contact with our dad, even though he feels I should. He has respect for my desire for a relationship with my dad. Still, being trapped in the middle is difficult. Here’s how navigate this tricky “family member in the middle” situation…
I am racist, and so are you: Recognizing and addressing racism in yourself
Here’s the deal. Racism isn’t just guys in white robes and Paula Deen shouting racial slurs. Racism is subtle, racism is insidious, and our culture is so deeply steeped in it that it’s impossible to grow up in the US and not be racist. And the sooner we both acknowledge this, the sooner we can begin to address the problem. So let’s talk…
The Cherry Cordial Revolution: Do I help Grandma, or do I follow the rules?
At 96, my Grandma Clara Yeager was pissed. Dad and his siblings sent her to live at Woodbridge Nursing Home. We visited her once a week while Grandma groused at Dad for putting her there in the first place. One day, a nurse took Dad out of the room for a private chat. My sister wasn’t there that day, and Grandma took the occasion to make a request — bring her some cherry cordials. Grandma rarely talked to me, much less made a direct request so I didn’t ask why — my dad returned to the room and it was clear this was secret. Do I help Grandma? Or do I follow the rules and refuse to buy Grandma her cherries?
I never thought an abusive relationship would happen to me
You never realize just how thoroughly your world can be turned on its head, how easy it is to find yourself willfully trapped in a position that you swore you would never get taken in by. I never realized it. This is the sort of thing you expect to see on Lifetime original movies, not in real life. Not in your life.
So… why have kids?
I am at the point in my life that I want to decide whether to have kids. In a logical sense, I am able and capable of having children. But I’m not completely satisfied with having kids merely because I can. So I am curious how people, who had the luxury of deciding, decided on having kids? Why should I grow my family?
I only live with my husband half of the year (and I’m okay with it)
I joke with my friends that I am a “part-time wife” because, for about half the year, I live with my husband and two cats in Boise, Idaho. The other half, I spend in Kalamazoo, Michigan working on my Ph.D. in English. This is a temporary situation, but it does raise a few eyebrows, and like any non-traditional living arrangement, it presents its own challenges.
Families of two: You don’t need kids to “start a family”
I’m married, and, if things go according to plan, we won’t ever have kids. Or, as some of my family members have put it “start a family.” Now, I take issue with that phrase…
Not having enough sex? Here’s how to have the sex talk you’ve been dreading with your partner
My husband and I have been married for two years now and with him being active duty, he is gone for months at a time and in a demanding and high-stress work environment. Naturally, as you might expect, the fullness of our sex life dissipated. I was feeling neglected and dissatisfied with the few times we did have sex, and never seemed to have a constructive conversation about sex, until now…