Eavesdropping: one of the many joys of city living
Our condo faces onto a courtyard, and when the windows are open there’s definitely a little Melrose Place action that happens. We hear neighbors coming and going, having sex, spanking each other, etc. It’s always entertaining.
We can also hear the callbox at the front gate. Monday night, this is what Dre and I heard, as we sat on the couch staring each other silently with wide eyes that said, “Don’t start laughing! They’ll hear you!”
Losing a sibling as a teen changed my feelings about parenthood
My thoughts about parenting have generally existed in a continuum that ranges from, “I definitely don’t want kids” to “Kids seem like this fantasy thing” all the way to “If I have kids, I’ll do this …” But no where in those ricocheting and often short-lived conceptions of potential parenting has there ever been a moment where I’ve thought, “Yes, I’ll have kids.” Mostly, I’ve been wading about in the gray for a long time. And for the most part, the question-and-answer game of my parenting or non-parenting future exists in a way that is anxious, but non-pressing. And a great deal of it, I now realize, stems from my most well-known observations of parenting, a lifetime spent watching my own amazing, instinctive, and infinitely nurturing mother raise her two children, and then watching her lose and grieve one.
8 tips for coming to terms with “bad” genetic testing results
At 16 weeks pregnant, I had a (fairly) routine blood test done. Two days later, my midwife called and said that based on the results, the baby I was carrying had an elevated risk of having Down’s syndrome. We scheduled a sonogram with fetal and maternal health specialists and a genetic counselor for two days later. Nothing was found, but they asked us to come back a month later because they were having difficulty getting good images of the baby’s heart. We leave happy that our risk has been downgraded, and come back a month later.
I’m 17 weeks into my pregnancy and I am already a bad mother
I am 17 weeks along, or just a little over four months. Well, mostly. Here’s the thing about pregnancy weeks. Some people, like my mean doctor, like to count you as far along as you are — as in I am 16 weeks because 16 weeks have already past. Some people, like my lovely pregnancy tracker, count the week you are in — as in I am in my 17th week as 16 weeks have already past. Then there are the people who count thing like the exact days, as in I am 16w1d or 16 weeks and 1 day. Until I am overdue, we are gonna ignore that shit.
I’m about to become a lesbian mother: any books or websites I should be reading?
As the non-bio mom, I am super excited, and know that I have a huge and important part in this — but I don’t know where to start looking for resources! I’ve been scouring the web for blogs, articles, and other resources for non-bio moms. Many of the blogs I’ve found are out of date and/or no longer being updated. The articles I’m finding don’t quite fit our situation. I can’t find any sort of pregnancy journal for the non-bio parent that isn’t for a dad.
Luna’s blissful and emotional home birth
I started having symptoms of labor at 38 weeks — a few weeks before I actually gave birth to my daughter, Luna. Experiencing labor signs early was one of the hardest things to go through emotionally, but I can say that I am so glad it happened. The experience taught me a much needed lesson in patience and in trusting my body. It was very frustrating to be on edge for those next few weeks, but there was also a lingering peace that I would know when it was happening. The next few weeks were very intense, emotionally and physically.
How can we deal with middle school meltdowns?
My oldest child, 12 years old, is in his first year of middle school. Without warning, we have hit an academic brick wall. My once mostly straight A student is now failing half his classes. He’s bombing tests and not turning in work. While I have done my absolute best to keep in contact with his teachers and have talked with him repeatedly about the importance of good grades and writing things down, I feel like I have led my little horse to water but he’s refusing to drink.
What to expect when you’re the first of your friends to have kids
Throughout my pregnancy I’d sit with my friends, often at a bar, sipping Orange Juice and Seven-Up and suspiciously eyeing my other female friends who weren’t drinking. I hopefully watched drinking patterns to see whether or not I could “score” a maternity leave buddy for at least part of my year as a stay at home mom. Although I have many close friends who often act as designated driver no one was pregnant while I was, and at this point no one will have more than a few weeks of overlap time at home with me unless they are very cleverly hiding five months of pregnancy. I have a handful of mom friends who are at home right now, but they all live outside of the city and on average are a fifty-three minute drive away.