Microaffections as revolution: one response to mass shootings and lock-down drills
Then my daughter tells me that tomorrow in school, there will be a lockdown drill and asks me if the alarm will be loud. I freeze.
We need softness in the face of terror, we need kindness in response to hate, and we need love as revolution. We need these tiny drop of some magic healing warmth. We need the opposite of the microaggressions that so many of us deal with daily… and I realize that what we need are microaffections.
On unexpectedly finding love after feeling like I don’t deserve it
I gave bits and pieces of myself to people that never really earned it. I was hurt repeatedly, but was okay with that, because I thought “I deserved it.” I had a resentment buried down inside of me so deep that it had tainted my being. I was told I wasn’t good enough and I believed it — I let myself believe his words. I had never looked in someone’s eyes and saw love. I just kept living with mediocrity.
And then I met her…
Resources for fathers-to-be that aren’t patronizing
Are there resources for fathers-to-be that aren’t weirdly gendered or patronizing? My husband isn’t an idiot and would love more information than “when can my wife have sex again?”, “when will I get to watch sports again”, or “how to do cope wife my wife’s craaa-aaaa-zzyyy hormones/body/cravings/etc?”
What’s the protocol for family photos with future in-laws?
I’ve been dating my partner for about two and a half years and we’re definitely on the road to marriage. He’s very close with his family and they are currently planning some family photos with my partner’s immediate family and his brother’s family (wife and kids). Since we’re not married, it feels weird to be part of their family’s photos, especially when I haven’t met them that many times (they live in another state).
Is it cool to have them take the photos without me? Is that even something you could safely suggest or should I just shut up and get in the picture?
My husband and I haven’t had sex, not even on our wedding night
I have been married for almost two years now, together for 11 years. But… my husband doesn’t want sex at all — not for the past four years. To clarify: We have not had sex, not even on our wedding night.
I can’t do this anymore. What should I do? Am I wasting my time? I need help.
Aromanticism: What if romantic love goes extinct?
A musician I adore named Moses Sumney has a new album called Aromanticism. It’s an exploration of our cultural fixation on romantic love, something that Moses says he’s never experienced.
I’m reminded of this article: Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation? And all the news about how teens aren’t having as much sex.
And then I think about this old post I wrote about how my grandchildren will shock me…
Would you use frozen condoms to soothe your lady parts?
Post-pregnancy people and new mamas: have you heard about this trick to help soothe vaginal trauma post childbirth? The irony of using pregnancy prevention methods to make your vagina feel better post-baby isn’t lost on us. Apparently filling the condoms with water and having them on hand is just a tricksy way of having a perfectly shaped ice pack at the ready.
Are you planning to fill up some condom balloons to soothe your downstairs parts post-pregnancy?
Why ditching my kid to go exercise makes me a better parent
Something I often get mom guilt about is leaving the house to workout. The truth is, leaving the house to get a workout in helps make me a better parent! And it could do the same for you, here’s why…