Hey parent friends, I want to hang out with you AND your kids!
I am not a parent but many of my friends are. When friends started having babies, I did all the usual stuff — bringing muffins, offering to help out around the house or at least hold the baby while the parents clean up, and of course cooing over the little ones. I genuinely enjoy kids and I am happy that my friends are bringing them into my life. I know I can’t be included in everything, but I feel so sad when I hear a bunch of people I like talking about an activity that I would’ve enjoyed but wasn’t invited to because they all brought kids. No one seems to think I care, even though I’ve mentioned that I like, say, the zoo or the park, too. I have tried inviting people with their kids to my place and it’s lots of fun, but it’s clearly a grownup apartment and things wrap up pretty quickly.
On “getting wifed” after getting married
I’ve noticed something now that I’m married… I feel like I’ve totally been getting “wifed” recently, and not-so-much by strangers or friends, but by my family, who really should know me better. From my sister to my father, for some reason everyone assumed I would change because *gasp* “I’m a wife now!”
Ozzie and Harriet beds: The aftermath of sleeping separately
This is in response to the insomniac post. I saw a few comments like, “Separate beds will help. Separate rooms would probably help even more.” Having a little bit of experience with this, I wanted to lend my two cents. I can say that it has definitely been a mixed bag, with a few unintended consequences.
Should we get divorced but stay together?
When my husband and I weren’t married I had “zero” income. Now that we’re married and I’m on his healthcare and I’m trying to continue my education I’m realizing that my low/no income healthcare was far better than actually being insured. And now I’m worried about me receiving enough aid to finish school. Has anyone else thought about just getting a divorce on paper in order to reap the financial benefits?
Family meetings help my relationship, save me money, and rock my socks
I am a terrible housekeeper. I’m also terrible at saving money. And talking about my feelings. And cooking (because I don’t plan ahead). And making time for my husband. At least, I WAS terrible at all of these things until… family meetings! I found a print-out somewhere in the depths of the internet called “Peek at the Week.” I showed it to my husband and he was mostly indifferent about it until I told him all of my amazing plans.
Roll around on the bed with your partner for an immediate mood boost
A while ago I was feeling overwhelmed, as I often do. That particular time, it was about wedding planning and how much stuff we had left to do. My now-husband looked at me very seriously and said, “I just changed the bedsheets and they feel awesome. Would you like to roll on the bed with me?”
How to have hard conversations like a pro
As an attorney, a lot of my job is helping people have hard conversations. Over years of facilitating these tough conversations, I’ve come up with some steps that make them more productive and less painful. These aren’t just good for “legal” conversations — they can work for anything from talking about moving cross-country for a job to planning a birthday party!
Coping with a partner’s (undiagnosed) depression
My partner of two years has been struggling with patterns of feeling moody, withdrawn, and overwhelmed. He’s recently admitted that he thinks he might be depressed, but he is still reluctant to see a doctor or therapist to figure things out. I want to be there for my partner, whom I care about deeply, but at what point do I need to step back and look out for my own emotional well-being? I’d appreciate any advice from those who have helped a friend partner with depression or had to encourage someone to seek therapy.