Trisha & Matthew: from DIY wedding to dream jobs that actually aren’t
We’re adding a new series on Offbeat Home & Life called “Where Are They Now?” where we catch up with the couples from Offbeat Bride profiles past. First up is Trisha & Matt whom you may remember from their adorable DIY wedding in California.
Ask Me Anything: I’m a young widow now remarried
Whether it is about being a young widow, loss of a loved one, moving on after a relationship ends, survivor’s guilt, the paperwork of death, how to help a loved one who is going through a loss, when support will be most well-received by the grieving, or even how dating in my early thirties was different than in my early twenties, ASK ME ANYTHING!
Blending work, home, and marriage: How to work with your spouse
I finally finished my PhD and found myself at a loose end. My husband Jamie was wrapping up his own project and he made a proposal: why not work on an iPad word game idea together? So in a week we had a working prototype and we thought hey, this could work; we can always quit if it doesn’t. That first week of working together gradually became months as our daily lives melded work, home, and marriage. Along the way I learned a few things, through trial and error, that made working with a spouse easier…
Comparing polyamory to nigiri: Coming-out as polyamorous
Being polyamorous often involves a decision of when, or if, to come out. In my years of coming out as poly, I was surprised to find that making “I am poly and have two partners” come out of my mouth wasn’t the hardest part. And it’s not watching the person’s brain explode in reaction to my perceived fairy-floaty woo-woo liberal (in so many ways) relationship status. No, it gets tough when they respond.
How we’re renegotiating our marriage with our yearly “relationship summit”
For our anniversary we have our “relationship summit” or our “State Of The Union” address, where we renegotiated our marriage each year. We talk about where we are and what we want and if changes need to be made. But what’s more important is the time when we come to “I want to stay married to you for another year.” Here’s how it works…
How to make friends as a grown up: stop being a victim, start making plans
I got into a huge conversation recently with an old friend of mine. He’s in his mid-30s, self-employed, and works from his home in the burbs. He recently broke up with his girlfriend, and is newly single and realizing he just doesn’t have the group of friends that he did in his 20s. I’ve had the same conversation with other friends in their late 20s and 30s (and 40s)… how the fuck do you make friends as a grown up?
Substituting adventures with doing chores: The strange relationship strains of repatriating
Community wisdom holds that the three most stressful life events that a couple can undertake are changing jobs, moving, and death. For us, repatriation combined the first two major stressors while throwing in several others, making our first year back in the US a very tumultuous transition. When the customs officers welcomed us “home,” it felt like our idea of home had shifted from holding an endless sense of wonder to embodying a stack of drudging responsibilities. The towering mound of laundry only served as a physical reminder of this loss, and we were sulking. But, through trial and effort, we seem to have hit on a reasonable set of guidelines for building up the sense of self we both felt we lost, while investing in each other.
Realizing that “long-term relationship” is a choice
I’m 28, and my friend circle (both close and extended) is definitely experiencing the first wave of divorces. As someone who regularly contemplated divorce for two years, I can see the appeal: freeeeeeeeeedom. I’m also someone who is adamantly pro-divorce: if it’s not working and you want out, get out. To me, divorce is nothing to be ashamed of regardless of the reasons leading up to it. But yet… I remain un-divorced. Like I said, I’m even happy about it. Why?