How a year on the road saved my life and helped me grieve
My fiancé has always loved travel, and was saving up for a year long road trip cross-country to take with his brother after he finished grad school and his brother got out of the army. When his brother passed away in Afghanistan in 2010, our lives were shattered pretty completely. His death impacted everything, and left us in the center of this desolate vortex of grief. Not knowing how else to proceed we kept moving and decided to still take the trip together. So on a hot sweltering day in July, we packed the Volvo and drove off.
Finding a Dominant/submissive play partner
“I’m in a relationship where my partner is not interested in BDSM, but I am. My partner has decided that they’re okay with me going to someone to help me with my needs. The problem is I don’t know how to do this!”
I can help! First we’ll talk about what to consider before engaging in a BDSM relationship, and then we’ll talk about finding one.
How do you talk about deal-breaker topics?
(Un)Fortunately, we can’t always convince everybody to agree with our personal brand of freedom and equality. By now I have realized that screaming “This is so unfair! Why don’t you want to understand?” is not the smartest way to begin any kind of conversation. How do you cope with constant mentioning of idealogical deal breakers — homophobic, racist, misogynic, and many other discriminatory comments — with people you can’t necessarily break things off with.
Single-living vs. couple-living: one woman’s pros and cons
I’m quite satisfied with the single life. Though I’ve really loved loving and living with my manfolk too. They are very, very different lifestyles. I’ve been having a funny feeling that I’m going to meet someone soon, and it’s leading me to wonder if I even really want to. I’ve been contemplating single versus couple life a lot lately…
Clothespins, sex, and cerebral palsy
Carrie is a Los Angeles-based writer who’s written about her experiences with kink and disability. “It’s not often (i.e., almost never) that I get told I’m good at a physical activity. But now my body, which had spent so many years letting me down and making decisions without my consent, had gone and done something absolutely right — and done it better.”
Battling the boredom during long-term, long-distance relationships
I have been in a four-year-long relationship with a lovely man, who asked me out over the phone as he was going through security at the airport to leave the country for four months! After he returned I still had two years of college, eight hours away, to finish up. So, while I am by no means an expert, I can say that I have some experience with the long distance experience. Now, let me just say, long-term, long-distance SUCKS but here are my tips so that you don’t get bored with the standard text/call/Skype routine…
How getting engaged made me figure out friendship
Before getting engaged, I also have been pretty shit-terrible about friendship. I’ve fallen out of touch with people I wanted to stay in touch with, I’ve been the kid waiting for an invitation but never proposing, I’ve let fights and misunderstanding end years of friendship. I’ve not always been great about friends. Then I got engaged and moved thousands of miles away from everyone I knew, and had an epiphany about friendships.
Make compromises within a relationship that don’t mean sacrificing your values
I had a lot of time to fantasize about my future and prospective living situations, and the idea of a vegan, eco-friendly, ethical household was appealing to me. So when I met my now-fiancée and the topic of moving in together came up, it was apparent that some compromises were going to have to be made on someone’s end. The compromises didn’t come without some heated discussions. While having these conversations with my fiancée, it occurred to me that a lot of my choices that tried to incorporate ethical consumerism were a lot about boycotting. I decided that from now on, instead of focusing exclusively on cutting things out of my shopping list, I’ll do things that support causes I believe in instead.