We all have certain values, beliefs, and opinions that are somewhat non-negotiable for each of us as a person — unique to our own makeup of upbringing, education, and personal experiences.
(Un)Fortunately, we can’t always convince everybody to agree with our personal brand of freedom and equality. Also, there are people with whom constant fights about personal values are not recommended, or people who simply refuse to allow any kind of discussion — parents, colleagues, customers, acquaintances, hell even people you consider friends.
By now I have realized that screaming “This is so unfair! Why don’t you want to understand?” is not the smartest way to begin any kind of conversation. Yet, there are topics where this is pretty much my default reaction.
How do you cope with constant mentioning of idealogical deal breakers — homophobic, racist, misogynic, and many other discriminatory comments — with people you can’t necessarily break things off with?
In the past, other Homies have talked a lot about communicating. The Offbeat Empire has also offered great advice on:
- Communicating under stress
- Even on friendship breakups
- Also mentionable the copy ‘n’ paste conflict resolution on Offbeat Bride
- And, above all, Ariel’s post on liberal bullying and call-out culture.
But what do you do if your boss/in-laws/neighbor constantly complains about homosexuals/immigrants/women/etc? I don’t really want this to be another lesson in “you need to learn when to let go,” because I can’t.
Okay, Homies: how do you discuss deal-breaker values with people you’re stuck with?