Single-living vs. couple-living: one woman’s pros and cons

Guest post by Meghan Hartley

couple v single-livingI’ve been single for the bulk of my adult life. I like to date guys who are like me, and I’m apparently kinda weird because I don’t meet them too often… and when I do it’s rare that I also want the sexy fun times with them. Why must you be so picky, hoo-ha?

C’est la vie, I’m quite satisfied with the single life. (Besides sexually, obviously.) Though I’ve really loved loving and living with my menfolk, too. They are very, very different lifestyles.

I’ve been having a funny feeling that I’m going to meet someone soon, and it’s leading me to wonder if I even really want to. I’ve been contemplating single versus couple life a lot lately…


As a single you get to buy whatever you want without considering anyone else’s desires or judgments, and that’s friggin’ awesome. I had potato salad and a smoothie spritzer last night and it was delicious — I highly doubt my boyfriend would agree to that dinner.

My lettuce always goes bad. I know, I know, maybe eat more salad that doesn’t involve potatoes and mayo. But even when I eat super healthy-like, I still can’t get through it in time! How many salads can a person eat? Don’t even get me started on those amazing Trader Joe’s avocado bags that are somehow only like four bucks for six lil’ avocados that I can’t possibly consume in a few days. Food isn’t sold to feed one lady before it goes bad, it’s sold to feed groups of people.

When I cook something wildly impressive there’s not usually anyone there to tell me how good it is. When I cook something wildly impressive the leftovers are ALL MINE.

Points for couple-living

I Facebook way too often

I miss having a witness to all of the inane but entertaining things that happen every day. Do the people I went to high school with and old co-workers really care that there was a spider in my room but I lost it? Surprisingly, yes. That is a very universal fear. But still, I post way too much shit like that on Facebook because there’s no one there experiencing it with me. Must connect with someone about the scary spider!

Points for couple-living

I have complete control over Netflix and Hulu

Tired of a movie ten minutes into it? Veto’d. Want to watch two hours of Friday Night Lights? Totally doing it. The Game Changers documentary on Anna Wintour? Devoured. Millionth viewing of “I AM”? Done. Someone there to veg with? Nards.

Points for single-living.

I really like my alone time: I need it to recharge

I’m one of those people who respond to invites with, “I have plans, sorry,” when the plans are just chillin’ around the house with no one there. I really LOVE it. No matter how much I loved my exes, I felt kinda drained always hanging out with someone. Yet at the same time we had so much fun I had a hard time not always hanging out with them.

Points for single-living.


I can do whatever I want whenever I want to do it without checking in with anyone.

Points for single-living.


(Besides the aforementioned sex part, that’s clearly better in couple life.) No one fucks up my top sheet! Why do people do that? I don’t get it. It’s soft, and I don’t have to wash my comforter nearly as often. According to my flings in my early twenties, it would seem that ALL dudes do this. Just stop it. Respect the top sheet.

Points for single-living.


So comfy and glorious. I love it so much. Being a little spoon is quite possible the safest, coziest, most bestest thing in the entire world.

Points for couple-living


I actually love this too. I can’t explain it. I find it very comforting.

Points for couple-living


Fuck it. Bring him on.

Fewer dirty dishes? No one to help walk the dogs? Full control of the remote? What are your pros and cons of single vs couple-living?

Comments on Single-living vs. couple-living: one woman’s pros and cons

  1. Aww, you’re so cute when you say you like snoring.

    Come spend the night next to my partner and I am sure you will change your tune.

    His snoring is awful and VERY LOUD. It is sincerely one of my least favorite things about him. I’m not exaggerating, the first time he fell asleep in my parents’ home, my father SERIOUSLY thought a bear had broken in the house. He came downstairs with a bat and everything (not sure wtf he was gonna do with it…). He’s scared small animals away. The people at the sleep clinic said they have never seen anyone who snores this bad.

    So, yeah, you need to spend a night with us 😉 We can even cuddle.

  2. Point for single living- being able to move across the country/world for a course/job/travel with ease and no discussions

    I totally love the freedom of being single!

  3. I have a love/hate relationship with couple living. I love that he cooks dinner for me because I am SOOOOO lazy about eating and I love having someone who makes me laugh besides myself. But I’ve always been a “personal bubble” type of person and I hate sharing. I’d never had a roommate for this reason… I moved out of my parents house into an apartment alone and now live with my husband. His crap is the only crap that I will tolerate living with. Tho, when talking with others about this kind of stuff, I always reference this:

  4. Seconding the people who said that not all of this is couple or single stuff. Sometimes I think I’d love to live by myself, but for example, right now my husband is playing Skyrim in the study and I’m on the couch in the living room, and he will quite happily stay there until we’re both bored and want to snuggled up and watch Masterchef. Earlier, he got up while I had a lie in, and then we went out for lunch. It was hard when we first got together and one or the other of us would get really clingy, but these days it’s pretty good. It’s a skill to learn, I think.

  5. This is quite funny because in fact you can have any of the ‘points for single’ even if you have a partner. It depends on your priorities and how tolerant you are willing to be. If you’re submissive it will always be an issue.

  6. Recently married and struggling with this, after living alone for years. I am finding myself inexplicably unhappy. I think it’s probably due to having someone up in my biz every day (and maybe partly do to the fact that life is as hard as it always was, and weddings get the dopamine way up, only to crash afterwards).

    I always said I’d marry someone who travels a lot, but I didn’t. I married a super nice man that comes home every night, asking how my day was. I find the question trite and irritating, but how do you tell a well-intentioned person that? (“Can we just assume every day sucks but maybe some nice things happen? Stop asking how my day was, causing me to reflect on how shitty it all is.” Seems like a good response for a happy marriage, right?) I mostly just play by the “if you don’t have anything nice to say….” rule. Makes for a quiet house, but I can HEAR HIM BREATHING/chewing/snoring/biting his nails…

    I have always known I need lots of days off from everyone for extreme introversion, but now it makes me a terrible spouse. Living with other people has never been my forte. There’s only so much energy I have for anything requiring human interaction, and that all gets sucked up within the first hour of being at work. THEN I TURN INTO THE HULK. (Points for living alone)

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