If the baby co-sleeps in bed with you, where do you have sex?

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Mazzali: "Domino" bed / il letto "Domino" . Bedroom area

A month ago I asked you guys when you stopped co-sleeping, and soon thereafter we received this question from Reenz.

My husband and I are just-before-bed frolickers and I don’t expect that this will change after our baby arrives, especially given work schedules. We plan to co-sleep (using an Arm’s Reach co-sleeper) for the first three months. We’re unsure about after that time.

It’s important to us to keep the sexiness flowing post-birth and one of my major reservations about co-sleeping is the loss of sexy time. Of course, I recognize there will be a dip in frequency when we become parents, but we have no intention of putting it on the shelf! It’s also worth noting that there aren’t many comfortable non-bed locations for said activity (the kitchen table is dangerously rickety!).

How do those co-sleeping maintain their sex lives with their kiddos in their space?

Comments on If the baby co-sleeps in bed with you, where do you have sex?

  1. We have a big comforter stuck behind the couch which I call the “sex blanket.” And then the couch itself is nice too. We’ve started to have our snuggle-and-talk-about-the-day time on the couch before going to bed, instead of in bed, and that transitions well.

    When he was little, we didn’t mind just being quiet, but now he’s a pretty light sleeper. Occasionally we try with him in the cosleeper, but I would just hate to break things off if he woke up, so … we tend to sneak out of the bedroom if things get interesting and get back to the couch.

  2. I didn’t get to read all of the comments, but our most concise answer is: “Anywhere the children aren’t.” We co-slept with four children, and currently our 5 month old and have never ever had a problem finding a spot in our home to be intimate that isn’t our bed. Finding the energy, however, is a different story.
    It just takes some creativity. 🙂

  3. The shower! Or floor…or the bed. We just put baby in the swing or wherever he won’t be bounced all over 😉

  4. My daughter has always started her night in the crib, I feel way more comfortable with her being safely in her crib while I am still awake. So we usually will have sex before she wakes up for her middle of the night feeding. Several times she has woken up and started screaming at us while we finish up.

  5. We have 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 3 months. Co-sleeping has not slowed us down one bit! When our first was born we knew co-sleeping was for us. We had sex anywhere, mostly the floor. My husband would make a “love nest” with blankets and we’d have a great time. My daughter had just transfered over to sleeping in her own bed in her own room when my son was born but co-slept with us throughout the pregnancy. We mainly used the couch. With baby number three we made her a little bed on the floor for times when we want to get it on in bed. She transfers well and usually wakes up right when we are done. It can be done!

  6. we have a 25 month old and a 13 1/2 month old (you do the math 😉 ) and we co-sleep with both of them – queen bed and cot with the side off between the bed and the wall.

    We just shuffle them over. There have been a couple of times when we’ve finished, only to look over and see the pair of them peering at us, but watchya gonna do?

    There was certainly no waiting till six weeks either, only 2-3 weeks. Once we felt like it, we did it. Now, with two small kidlets plus a 9 year old, we often feel like it, but just don’t have the energy!!

  7. unless you live in a studio apartment, homes tend to have more than one room – why limit yourselves to the bedroom?

  8. I’m a single-mom and co-sleep with my daughter off and on since she was born, she’s almost three now.

    As for sexy times: I usually do that when she’s away at grandma’s… though she has her own bed (we share a room) for a reason. I just put her in her own bed and keep the noise down. Hehe.

  9. We have always had our 4 month old son nap in a swing in our livingroom and cosleep at night specifically for this reason. That means on the days that my husband works we usually don’t get a chance to have sex but honestly, we are usually so tired that it wouldn’t happen anyway. We get it about 2 times a week and that is just as much as before we had a baby for us.

  10. I have to admit since Josie arrived in January there has been little canoodling in our household. I am exhausted by the end of the day and after my lil girl has snuggled in for a bedtime story and feed I am fast asleep in about five minutes flat. My labido went the way of the eight track sometime during month four of my pregnancy. I feel for my husband. For me I need an article on how to recharge my sexy. My friend’s only word of advice was lube…

  11. I’m not a mother but I kind of like to search the internets for mama/baby-based things. Is that strange? It is? YAY!!!

    I don’t know if anyone has thought of this but, maybe you could get a bed with a slide out guest bed underneath. You could put the baby on the guest bed or use the guest bed yourself to “get jiggy”. Also when you’re co-sleeping the guest bed underneath would help to avoid any injury from rolling over the side.
    It can also be stored easily and some of them even have extra drawers for storage underneath the guest bed itself.
    An extra bonus is that later the kid can’t crawl under the bed and get stuck. This also happens with pregnant kitt-tays.


  12. All my life I thought I wouldn’t have sex with my children in the room. But when I became a mother we were living in a studio apartment where only the teeny tiny bathroom was separate, so… We just waited for our son to fall asleep and do it. The bed was the only available surface in our minuscule apartment. He was (and is) a heavy sleeper, thankfully.
    Our second baby came when we were already in a 2 bedroom apartment. This gives us more choice, but we mostly use the bed while the baby sleeps in the co-sleeper cot. There’s always white noise when he’s asleep, from apps, that helps, I guess, but he too is a heavy sleeper…

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