Did you know that if you really don’t want to be forced to go through the airport scanners, then you should dress head-to-toe in sequins? Our Publisher Ariel learned all about that when she flew home from the Philadelphia Lovesick Expo…
I went straight from the Philadelphia expo to the airport to fly home to Seattle, and was just the right mix of rushed for my flight and “Zero Fucks to Give” that I opted not to change out of my J. Von Stratton floor-length gold sequined gown until I got to the gate.
This resulted in a free upgrade to premium seating (thanks, Alaska Airlines!), a very amusing 20 minutes waiting in line at security, and then the biggest lesson of the weekend: TSA scanners cannot see through sequins. When TSA saw me coming, they were like “Oh man, you’re going to light up like a Christmas tree,” and when I saw the body scan… yep. Exactly that.
Apparently this is a known thing for TSA: sequins reflect the scanners. If you have a few sequins on your shirt, it looks like polka dots. If you’re wearing neck to floor sequins, you are essentially a glowing security hazard and so you get a mandatory pat down.
So there I was, barefoot in a gold sequined mermaid gown, getting the full pat down from a TSA agent who was cracking up the whole time, even as she’s telling me how she’s going to use the back of her hand to pat down my gold sequined butt crack.
I laughed with her through the entire thing, because why not?
File that under “fabulous life hacks!”
And to see more strange tales of randomly gained knowledge for Lovesick Expos, head over to Offbeat Bride to read about swallowing swords, stomach boogers, and boob kisses.