What if I told you smoking weed can make you a better parent? It’s no secret that I believe pot gives mothers super powers, and I know what I’m talking about. Having done the parenting thing both ways (sober-mom method and stoner-mom method), I speak as a stoned authority on this.
I live in Colorado, where Amendment 64 gave us the right to blaze up for pleasure in addition to medical reasons. That includes gasp caregivers of children. Sometimes known as parents.
And we’re not alone. Marijuana is legal in some form or another in 23 states and the District of Columbia. Four states — Colorado, Washington, Oregon, Alaska, and the District of Columbia — have legalized recreational marijuana. With weed as popular as it’s ever been, it’s easy to understand that a vast amount of these users are mothers and fathers. Here are some of the many reasons parents are smoking weed…
1. Get a jolt of energy to rival your favorite cappuccino
Getting stoned along with our morning stimulant is a first-world luxury. There is nothing as soothing, calming, and yet energizing, as a morning combo of pot and coffee. One of my earliest discoveries in the stoner world was the “wake and bake” session. Typically around 10 a.m., the pace of the morning slows down enough to really enjoy that first bowl of the day. A clean bong, some finely ground herb, and a cup of freshly ground coffee. Armed with these accessories, I tackle the days work, be it of the house and hearth, creative, or professional variety. I lose track of bong rips while I write and plan or scrub and clean.
The idea that marijuana makes everyone sleepy and dumb is really a misconception. Sure, it can make you sleepy and dumb — sometimes that’s exactly what you need to counteract pain. But the majority of ganja that I consume is straight up sativa or a sativa dominant hybrid. These strains not only give you a real energy boost, they also provide focus, creativity, and a deep thought.
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2. Become “that mom” (or dad) — except for real this time
I’ve always been an efficient mother. However, I never felt as efficient as a mom as I have felt as a stoner mom. Like artists and weed, parents and marijuana just kinda go well together. Who needs energy more than a parent? Who needs a chill pill more than a parent? Lessening the stress and tension of the planet’s most worrying species, marijuana is quite literally making the world a better place.
If every parent on the planet was a stoner, how would the world change? If the world’s nurturers are free of anxiety, tension, and hostility, wouldn’t they only do better at their jobs? And so on, and so forth, for generations to come.
3. Set a better eating example
If you are a parent of young children, you probably exist on what I call the “stay at home” diet. It consists of sandwich crusts and Starbucks, with occasional kid snack leftovers thrown in. We all know it’s not healthy, but I know many moms out there that don’t eat well. I’m one of them, and so is my best friend — we’re just too busy to prepare something for ourselves while preparing healthy, perfectly balanced meals to the little ones. There are days when it hits 3 p.m., and I haven’t had a single thing in my stomach other than a tall latte. This is where the weed comes in.
You’ve probably heard of the munchies. Maybe you’ve even experienced them. A lot of marijuana strains make people want to eat. Like, REALLY eat.
Now, maybe the stoner of times long gone would shove fast food down their throat, but today? Millennials aren’t like that. My kitchen is always loaded with healthy basics, specifically tons of fresh fruit, so the munchies really aren’t that bad of a thing. When the munchies set in, it really is possible to control what I feast on.
Imagine sitting down at lunch to a huge salad or some shit and enjoying every bite of it in front of your children. That’s what a stoner parent could be modeling — eating their greens with the gusto only munchies can provide.
4. Maintain a connection to youth
I’m blessed with good Pacific islander genes that make me somewhat impervious to early aging. But as a woman who has only ever been interested in older men, I can say with authority that there’s a big difference between being old and seeming old.
Weed is a youthful drug. It makes you joyful and teaches you to find humor in everything. Spending time like that tends to make a person more relaxed all around, even when stone-cold sober. I’ve always been obsessive about music, but it wasn’t until I started toking up that I really fell in love with rap and developed an appreciation for electronic dance music.
Pot makes you silly, makes you roll around with your kids on the floor, makes you come up with hilarious stories for Barbies to reenact. It makes you go outside and look at the sky, makes you see the wonder and the beauty in the things you forgot. It makes you fuck like a wild animal. This is youth. This is youthful living, and it’s great.
5. Have a personal hobby
I’m a strong believer that parents need to have a damn hobby. It’s very easy to forget about yourself once you begin living for the care of someone else.
Cannabis lends itself to so many different hobbies. Gardening takes on a new science. You know you’re talking to a stoner when they start chatting you up about crossbreeding plants and making clones. More interested in social stuff? Stoners are the most social lot! Take a joint out on a night downtown, and everyone wants to be your friend. Hobbies from gorgeous blown glass, cold-pressed oils, new technology, leading health advances, baking, cooking, photography, art. The best thing about a hobby in the cannabis world is that everything is so new and changing every day. It’s the wild west, and it’s a blast to be a part of something.
6. Get along better with your spouse
From crazy fun date nights to getting juices flowing in the bedroom — marijuana is a marriage’s best friend. Got an anxious partner who’s immune to your seductions? Weed. Partner acts like a dick when drinking? Weed instead. Can’t agree on what to do with extra income? Weed again. Seriously.
7. Sleep like a baby — wait, no, because babies don’t sleep — sleep like a new mom given an empty luxury suite
Have an Indica, go to sleep, and get up the next morning and tell me you didn’t love the fuck out of that night of sleep.
What is the ONE THING that parents need more of? No matter where you go or who you ask, there’s one resounding answer from those who nurture the next generation. WE NEED SLEEP. Get on a regular sleeping schedule, and you’ve got someone who is more active, engaged, and in love with being a parent.
It’s long time we threw out those misconceptions that any parent who smokes pot is a bad parent. Weed is medicine, and when used responsibly, weed can make you a far more patient, present, and nurturing.
Not looking for super specifics or anything, but how does an introverted parent who doesn’t go out much come across some? You’d think in upstate NY or VT ( current and former ) it would be falling into my lap, but nary a bit. I’m very curious and on three seperate antidepressants, the last for sleep, and I love the idea of making a switch.
https://www.health.ny.gov/regulations/medical_marijuana/
🙂
Preach!
Super interesting perspective.
I’m curious about the bad highs as they relate to parenting. What if you get the zonk-out high where you can’t concentrate on much of anything? Have you engineered something if there’s, say, an emergency of some kind that requires someone sober?
Being a calm, relaxed and loving parent is, of course, most important in the day-to-day, but my brain works in the “what ifs” when it comes to anything generally viewed as “impairing”. Like, I would imagine that driving while high is a no-no.. so, what happens in little one falls from the couch and needs stitches?
(dear god, I sound like my mother)
Love this question! There are some extra precautions parents need to take such as;
one parent at a time (think of alcohol- both parents can’t be drunk constantly)
No driving while stoned
No smoking indicas during the day (they make you super sleepy)
and more… this post sums up some rules for being a responsible stoner parent. http://thestonermom.com/responsible-stoner-parent/
I think your tolerance and the amount of time you have been smoking is a huge factor. I can completely function while I am high – take care of my kids, make dinner, talk to people, help with homework, take work related phone calls and trouble shoot issues with my employees, etc. Meanwhile, my boyfriend can’t even be around people when he’s high – he gets paranoid & antisocial, but he is always amazed that I am “normal” while I am high. Every person is going to react differently, and also different types of weed will make you have a different reaction as well.
You bring up a great point… in states where cannabis is legal, everyone knows exactly what they’re smoking and can make educated decisions about what strains/when/how much to smoke, in an effort to ensure that they don’t get uncomfortably inebriated.
Kris, he might be ok on ACDC, which is used as a cure for paranoia.
It helps that, unlike alcohol, the effects of which can take a really long time to wear off, marijuana’s effects are typically over in about 2 hours.
Additionally, I think the best advice for ALL newbies, parents or not, is to start slow. Don’t overdo it. Yes, bad highs happen, but usually they occur when someone has jumped in with both feet and gotten way too high. Have some time set aside with no responsibilities and plenty of food for your first time/few times, and wait about 10 minutes between hits before you take another one. Walk around. Paint something. Watch a bird. See how you feel. And, yeah, definitely don’t drive high.
If you are wise, you will have a high CBD (pain) pot in the house, that will kind of kill those two worst problems of indulging: paranoia, and too stoned. Who would have guessed that pot is its own cure? What messes you up is THC, and if it isn’t balanced, you might be uncomfortable. It hasn’t happened to me in years, so I haven’t had to do this since it became common knowledge on the internet, and available to all.
If you don’t have access to medical marijuana, then you can try the old tried and true remedies.
If you get paranoid, sniff some black pepper. If you’re too stoned, eat some citrus.
I never dreamt that I’d be able to buy it legally, and smoke it to my heart’s content. It’s amazing. So much better than pills and alcohol. I occasionally need an aspirin, but only when I’m out in ‘public’ and can’t medicate easily. I started smoking 47 years ago, and went without for many of the intervening years, (single mother), but now, it’s my time. So rejuvenating.
Ha. I had just put my 3 mo old son down for a nap, ripped a bong, had a healthy lunch, cleaned the kitchen and sat down with a cup of coffee and the laptop, and the first thing I see is this post!
Thank you for this. I do hate the stoner myth that we are all lazy, junk food eating slobs.
Both my husband and I are stoners, have been our entire teenage years. (separately until we met in our 20’s, and have continued to smoke together) Our neighbors and my family would be very surprised to know this. Although we are open with our friends and my husband’s family, I am not ‘out’ to my family regarding my relaxant of choice. Two reasons: we do not live in a state that has legalized any sort of cannabis use, and I come from a rather conservative background.
We know of a few other stoner parents, mainly friends from our party years that have moved with us into the ‘grown up phase’ of life. All of them are perfectly normal, hard working, caring individuals who happen to smoke a bowl rather than drink 3 glasses of wine to relax.
Most people do not know that I smoke, and when people find out, they are really surprised. I don’t hide it, but I don’t flaunt it either. My parents and my siblings know, but I don’t ever talk about it on facebook or anything like that. Though I did just share this post, lol.
Didn’t this same post (or very similar post) blow up Offbeat Families a few years back? Not asking to be snarky, I just remember something similar getting all sorts of angry comments.
You’re thinking of a similar but different post from a different author:
http://offbeathome.com/2012/03/pot-smoking-parents
Despite the similarities, we decided to run this post today in part because laws have changed so dramatically since 2012. In many states, stoner parents are no longer breaking any laws… which really shifts the morality issue for some folks. It’s fascinating to see how the responses to the two posts are different, three years apart.
Sure, some people on Facebook still see stoner parenting as offensive, but there’s way less negativity here in 2015 than there was in 2012. What a different three years makes!
I am glad the comments are so much more positive. I almost didn’t click to read this post because I remember all the angsty comments last time around.
And as a resident of DC this is a very timely post since we just legalized pot here.
Yay!
I’m also really surprised by the change in comments. Overall, I’ve found that OBH comments have become more judgmental over the years, yet here is this controversial post, and most everyone’s either choosing not to comment or leaving a positive comment. Very interesting.
Well, keep in mind that (as always) the most negative comments are all on our Facebook page.
That’s another big difference between 2012 and 2015: generally speaking, if people want to complain about a post, they’re too lazy to click over to the blog and type in a name/email… so they just read the headline/excerpt on Facebook, and post their negative reactions there.
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE! 🙂
It was another post on a similar topic by a different author and yes it was controversial. I think this one might be a bit less controversial just due to the point of view and writing syle compared to the other one.
Personally I have no interest in this drug. However if it works for the author of this post that’s great. Her reasons are compelling and the post is well written.
When I first read this post, I thought: “Aww shhhhhhit, here come the haters!”
I expected so more judgment than what I found. Yay
STOP SENDING ME EMAILS
Patricia, in the email notifications you receive, it says at the bottom: “To no longer receive other comments or replies in this discussion reply with the word ‘unsubscribe’.”
So yeah: to stop getting email notifications of new comments, just reply to the email with the word “unsubscribe” in your message. Easy!
I interpreted the title of this article VERY differently when I first glanced at it – you see, I come from the generation and population subset where while my peers and I are in our early thirties, married with little children… our parents are in their late fifties/early sixties, nearing retirement or already there, buying boats, campers, etc., and beginning what I call their very own Magic Mystery Years. They are not only smoking (or in the case of my inlaws, eating) pot again for the first time since they were in their twenties, they’re growing it, lobbying for it, and writing legislation for it. (I’m in Washington state.)
I think it makes THEM better parents too, and better grandparents. It helps them recapture a little bit of that flower child youth, but also helps steer the image of a typical toker more in the older, responsible adult category. Plus if I want to take home special brownies for when the kid is in bed and my husband has the next day off work, well, they’re right there. 😉
I just can’t wait until my kid in her adult years sees me smoking or eating it and goes, “Mom. Seriously. You’re too young for this yet, aren’t you? Do you WANT to look like an old grandma?” Lol.
Ok, true story: growing up with a hippie mom who smoked pot was what kept completely clean & sober all through high school! Lots of my friends smoked pot, and I always rolled my eyes and was like UG, SMOKING POT IS FOR OLD GROSS HIPPIES LIKE MY MOM.
You gotta rebel against what you can, you know?
Same here. I was super-serious straight edge (sharpie Xs and everything!) all through high school and freshmen year of college because my parents are stoners. You take what you can get.
@Lisa when you look back on your childhood, I bet it was a pretty good one? Unlike kids who grew up with alcohol using parents. I see pot use by parents as a win/win for kids. They either grow up just not interested in trying it as adolescents, because their parents are open about it. Or they end up growing up in a non-violent household. Anyone using pot, had a more tolerant, loving, open mind and I love that about this herb.
I haven’t met a pothead yet where I walked away thinking “that person was a real asshole!!” 😉
no thanks imainthe family way
While I enjoy occasionally partaking, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable using pot while my (hypothetical) children are awake. It’s probably just the types I’ve used and my own personal reactions to it, but it’s just so relaxing that I’d be worried I wouldn’t respond properly to anything out of the norm that came up, because my tendency is to just sink deeper into the couch cushions and cuddle the nearest warm being. Then again, I also feel weird when my husband and I have a beer with lunch on a Saturday, so maybe I’m a prude haha!
This is totally me. I either couch melt or fastidiously refold the same shirt a dozen times like a mechanical robot before giving up to wipe my nose and clench my fists all night. It makes me absolutely awesome at vacuuming, though (I like a very thorough vacuum job.)
Meanwhile, my boyfriend gets high and just goes. He’ll be up doing the dishes, throwing steaks on the stovetop, taking out the trash and playing a round of something on the Playstation. It kind of amazes me.
Before I met him, I always just sort of assumed that weed had the same effect on everyone. But lately, I’ve met more and more people who are super motivated and focused when they smoke pot and I think that’s so cool!
Hoooooooooold up!
Yes, I’ve smoked my fair share of pot (it’s illegal in the country I live). No I don’t think parenting + pot go together. Why? Because marijuana, by definition, is a psychotropic (mind-altering) substance. It distorts your perceptions. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse… but the point is… You’re not in the position to make that judgement call for yourself. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to be completely objective in this situation.
As an illustration: You think ‘oh yes I am a cool, fun and chilled parent while stoned’. And your young child might do as well. Will your child still agree when they grow into an adult? Or will they remember their mum who had to use drugs in order to spend time with them?
Legal in many places now? Yes. Probably less-harmful overall than alcohol use? Yes. ‘Cool’ and associated with counter-culture? Yes. Does that make it a good idea in all circumstances? Absolutely not.
I anticipate this won’t be a popular post. But I thought this perspective was missing from the conversation. And I believe it’s a very important one.
Doesn’t that apply to everything though? You never know how your child will remember the choices you make for them in childhood. You may also think you’re being a good parent who creates a warm and safe environment with things like babywearing and co-sleeping – and your child may remember a smothering parent who never gave them a moment alone. You can’t control that either way.
Yes, exactly. My mom smoked marijuana when I was growing up, and I gotta say, the shit that left scars had absolutely nothing to do with cannabis. Actually, I remember that she used to get high and clean, and it was fun to come home from school to the stereo blasting and a super clean house, and my mom dancing and in a great mood. I knew what was up, but I never minded.
The author lost me at “If every parent on the planet was a stoner, how would the world change?” It’d be one thing if she simply argued “It’s what I want / need.” But to make it seem like most parents who don’t smoke pot are somehow missing out = yeah, I’ll pass
Whilst I agree. I’m open to the idea that like alcohol, the different types of cannabis and how people react to it varies the experience. Personally I will never take illegal drugs in any form because my dad. I’m not going to go into detail.
I don’t like the assumption it would make everyone a better parent. I find alcohol relaxing and a glass of wine makes me more ‘fun’, as for energy I’ve got sugar and energising music. My final issue with drugs is who the money goes to – where it’s illegal, it obviously leads to organised crime. If it’s legal then I’m concerned about the lack of mental health funding, it’s never been a popular medical area and has always struggled to help addicts of legal and illegal substances. Easily fixed but I feel too easily ignored.
Finally, the lack of appetite, poor sleep, lack of energy to do every day tasks, not wanting to play with your children could all be symptoms of depression which are being masked by taking weed. Sure a mum’s life is tough but just because somethings ‘natural’ doesn’t mean it’s a magic pill. It’s always better to treat the cause not the symptoms.
I’m happy it works for you guys. I wish both sides would stop attacking the other so we can have grown up discussions about alternative, possibly better ways to live.
Thanks for the brave post, Stoner Mom. I think it would have been easier for me if I had had access when I was a single mom. I’m so grateful for the information on strains, and being able to shop for just the effect I want. Sativas are the best for my fibrofog days, and I love a good sleeping aid. I love the referral to old hippies, too. lol I don’t know how I got here, but it was fun stopping by. Best of luck with your campaign. I, too, feel that all parents would benefit from a little toke, especially those who think not. lol
As the daughter of occasional-Stoner-Parents, I must say this: Your perception of how fun and chill you are as a parent might just not be the way you are perceived by your kids.
Its not like you are just “better” when stoned, you are different. I never felt taken seriously by my parents when they had smoked, found it weird that they thought something was funny or not a big thing when I very much felt it was and found them so annoying. I decided never to smoke weed (or take any other drug), especially not when responsible for the next generation. Maybe I was a particularly serious child, feeling like I needed to take care of my little sister in these situations…
Another thing: All those points you listed can easily be achieved without weed. You can clean the house/focus on work with a coffee midmorning, if you get on a regular sleeping schedule and eat healthily. No need to be drugged while sleeping, what if there is an emergency at night? I don’t mind having a light sleep if it means I wake up quickly when something is going on.
I don’t quite understand why you would need weed to eat and why you fix something for your kids but not the same stuff for yourself? Even my stoner-parents always shared (healthy, home-cooked) meals with us.
And if you want to be funny and relaxed as a parent, why not try and be conscious of your patterns and change them? And play with Barbies, but let your kids decide whether your stories are really hilarious.
(I remember more than one occasion when my parents thought they where hilarious, and my sister would laugh and later I asked her if she thought it was funny, and she said no, but she laughed to please my parents, obliging little soul. Something they noticed when they were sober.)
I read the article and thought the same thing. You can do all those things ‘sober’. You can relax more by letting go of your anxiety and be in the moment. It’s not easy but it can be done.
I have never done pot so can’t say what it’s effects are like but when I read this it just read like a dependacy. It says to me ‘I need xxx to get through’. At that point no matter what xxx is you have a dependency issue.
As others have said alcohol can be a lot worse but that doesn’t mean this isn’t a problem too if it goes from a ‘this is a fun past time’ to ‘I need this just function as a parent’.
Never smoked, never plan to….however, as a nurse who works with pregnant women, would you want a nurse taking care of you that smokes pot on the regular? It stays in your system and shows up on drug tests. So, two point question…..if you wouldn’t want to have your medical care in the hands of someone who smoked for leisure, why would your kids want to be cared for by a stoner, either….and why is it fair to them when they can’t make that choice. And question two, in the states where it is legal, what are the legalities for people that work in the public caring for others (nurses, paramedics, police officers, jail personnel, teachers)?
I most definitely agree with your post 100%!! There are days (mostly Monday’s) that r so freaking stressful & feel like I wanna pull my hair out when my 2 older children come home from school & my youngest starts going wild & tryin to get dinner done & answer their questions/listen to their day. But then I realize “YOU need to calm down! Not them, their bn kids!” & ill go to the bathroom, flip the vent on & open the window only to emerge 3 mins later after a couple bowl hits & feel SO MUCH BETTER! & Like I can actually listen to them a little better & even give them a little clearer thought thru answers! I know my youngest, who cant quite talk understandably yet but single words, & I have had some pretty good convos back & foreth at bedtime once ive chilled! Like he can tell im not so tense & I feel like I can actually understand what hes tryin to say a little more! I cannot wait for pot to be legal in Ohio! Think the world would be a lot more of a calm place if everywhere did!! Thanks for your post! & thanks for justifying what ive been saying all along to those who seem to be pretty “persnickety” about weed…while their downing the last drops of their 3rd bottle of wine or last beer of a 12 pack they drank to themselves!!:-)
Having smoked in the 70s and 80s (only after the kids were asleep). I was leery when my doctor suggested medical marijuana. It became an issue for me in the 80s as I felt it made my husband and I far to lazy and accepting of our lives even though we had issues that needed to be addressed we smoked another joint and made us no longer concerned with doing anything about those issues to the point we split up for a year. Never to smoke again we worked hard to get back what we lost.
I have many issues that marijuana can help with, I went with it. I am now in the process of learning as much as I can about the different types and how to choose the effect you want and need. No more smoke and see what happens. I now choose what I want to happen. Every citizen of the United States should have this option just as I do. It has made such a difference in my life and I am so grateful to have this privilege.
I am looking to get involved in helping to legalize in all states and anyone reading this should be doing the same. Do some research and see all the benefits and all the ways it can help improve our lives. Did you know cigarettes are more addictive?
First thing and last thing I do everyday is smoke a bowl.
I’m 60 have a full time job that I’ve had for the past 17 years as a analyst. My performance at work is as perfect today as it sometimes was a year ago when I considered disability cause I didn’t know how much longer I could work. Today that’s not in the equation. I understand if you don’t want this but you should fight for the option for you and your children and parents.
“I’m blessed with good Pacific islander genes” i already loved this article but loved it more after i read this. much love, an indo fijian 🙂