Try a Vulnerability Day by watching these videos together

March 13 | Guest post by Dana "Lydia" Bengtson

Personally, I'm not a roses kind of girl. And right now, our household doesn't have room for more stuff, nor do I really need chocolate to know I'm loved. But, getting the chance to take a break from the daily routine and sit with my partner as we watch relationship-relevant videos? That's what I need. Here are a few videos that have worked better than roses and chocolate in getting our romance back:

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability

Brené Brown: The Price of Invulnerability

Brene Brown: Listening to Shame

These videos provide a reminder of how precious our shared experiences are, how we can take courage into our daily lives, and how to look terrifying vulnerability in the eye and accept it for what it is: necessary.

This article is for you, the person out there who isn't satisfied with the traditional, commercial expressions of romance. For those of you who find your needs met with your love's attention and a lot of freakin' awesome chocolate, shine on! And these things aren't mutually exclusive — gifts and vulnerability can happen at the same time. They usually do for me.

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  1. Brene Brown's talks have profoundly challenged my views, and I am so grateful for her work, and her courage to share her experiences & findings. I'm glad to know that other people find what she has to say equally moving. 🙂

    2 agree
  2. Thank you for this. My husband and I are trying to repair our relationship after he confessed to cheating on me. I've felt ashamed that I threw myself in so whole-heartedly only to be betrayed and he feels like he's a monster. These videos are helping me to see that no, I'm not stupid for believing, not weak for staying, and he's not a monster for falling. I've felt myself burying things, trying to not be vulnerable anymore to avoid pain like this. But this made me realize that by doing that I'm only shutting out all of the good that can come from life too.

    2 agree
    • *E-Hug* You are so courageous, and thank you for taking the time to share your experience. And you're right, you're neither stupid nor weak! Nor is he a monster by default of a mistake.

      We went through a patch with shades of what you're enduring, and I can say that Brene Brown's work made all the difference for us, too. Forgiveness in your situation is an act of trust, "Can I trust you this much, to hold true to your promise? Show me."
      There's no guarantee that living with vulnerability won't hurt, but you can know that by enduring the difficulty you are making joy possible.

      And it's worth it.

      4 agree
  3. I had never heard of her, but I am glad I watched these videos. My mind is ticking off people that I would like to send them to. Thank you for sharing.

  4. I've been wanting her TED talks for a while, and the other night my husband and I watched these together. It was exactly what we needed, individually and as a couple.

  5. I've watched Brene's talks on TED a few times now. I also made my boyfriend watch them, and let me tell you—powerful stuff. I think its great that she has the guts to talk about some pretty scary stuff. That being said, after talking about it with my person, it became less scary and more of an eye opener.

    LOVE HER.

  6. I noticed your bio…I live in Portland! and I am a pro baker. And I really appreciated your article links. 🙂

    1 agrees

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