What to say when someone asks what gift you want

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Whether they’re asking what you want for a holiday or a birthday or maybe even as a gift for your kid, it’s often awkward to come up with an answer that doesn’t sound greedy or pushy. For as long as anxiety has existed, we’ve been wondering exactly what to say when someone asks what gift you want. Luckily, I’m someone who loves to give people the perfect gifts, does not love admitting I want gifts, has tons of social anxieties, and is also neurodivergent… so I’ve studied ways to answer this question with charm.

So let’s go over some possible answers and I’ll give you my favorite easy solution…

1. If you truly don’t want anything…

“I truly don’t want anything. I swear.”

And ONLY use this response if you honestly truly don’t want anything. If you say this and you do want something, then you suck.

2. If you want something in particular…

“Honestly, I’ve had my eye on [whatever] but I feel weird about buying it for myself.”

I used this one when my husband asked me what I gift I wanted for my 40th birthday. I had been eyeing a pair of fancy earrings that I would never have bought for myself, buuuuut it was perfect for a special birthday present.

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3. If you want a specific gift, but you want to be surprised…

“Would it be okay if [insert name here] helps you find something?”

And then direct them to someone that knows you really well (or has really good taste) and they can take it from there! I actually did a combo of 2 and 3 with my birthday earrings. I knew what I wanted, but I still wanted it to be a bit of a surprise so it felt exciting. So I gave my most fashionable best friend ideas about what kind of earrings I liked, and then she and my husband worked together to find my gift!

4. If you don’t want anything in particular, but do want something…

“I would love to do something special together!”

If you’re uncomfortable asking for a gift but it’s still important that this person puts in some effort, you might want to suggest an experiential gift that you could do together. You can get some ideas of what you could do together on this post about experiential gifts. Or…

“Surprise me!”

My favorite thing to do with this option is to make it even easier for them by sending a link to my go-to CrateJoy, where there are tons of thoughtful gifts catered to all kinds of personalities and interests. And now they’ve made it even easier with this curate gifting hub just for me! Oh… and I guess for you too.

Just look at how they literally can’t go wrong with all of these options:

I could keep going and show you all my favorite gift ideas. But that’s basically what this entire page is for. So, if you want to be nice send the person who’s asking what gift you want, send ’em a link, and then wait to be happily surprised.

About the Author: Megan Finley Horowitz

@meggyfin @meggyfin

I'm a 40-year-old potty-mouthed writer with late-diagnosed ADHD and a shit-ton of anxiety. I live in my hometown of Los Angeles with a husband, a daughter I never planned on having, and a senior rescue dog. Anything else you need to know can be gleaned from my instagram and my TikTok.