7.1k

Growing up and letting go of obsolete relationship dynamics

My sister is amazing with people, confident and outgoing and extraordinarily empathetic. And me? Well, I was the best at logistics. I always had two sets of lunch money in case my sister forgot hers (which was often useful), and contingency plans for every situation. As we grew up and left home the relationship dynamic stayed the same. Then, last year, we had a family crisis, and I realized that the dynamic had shifted, and I needed to shift as well.

13k

Family member in the middle: Being stuck between two family members who aren't talking to each other

Every adult family relationship dynamic is different. For me, our difficulty is that my older brother, who I am very close to, will not talk to our dad. My brother knows I will not cut contact with our dad, even though he feels I should. He has respect for my desire for a relationship with my dad. Still, being trapped in the middle is difficult. Here's how navigate this tricky "family member in the middle" situation…

21k

Triangles, boundaries, and Spidey Senses: Ending relationships with difficult family members

Remember that post about how to maintaining a relationship with difficult family members? I'm about to drop some deep family secrets on this site today. My solution to maintaining relationships with difficult siblings is this: Fucking DON'T. I don't know if I can offer the definitive advice on the topic of ditching difficult family members, but I can offer up a few insights from my own 30+ years of experience…