Bad Romance part 3: Demanding greater diversity in who gets a happily ever after in romance
One of the big success stories in self-publishing is romance. According to popular platform Smashwords, the genre dominates the market. With a few clicks any writer can become an author. Which makes it possible that a novel most major publishing houses and quite a few small presses would have turned down, one that hasn’t seen an editor’s red pen, or even a proofreader will wind up on Amazon more than in other genres.
There’s an argument for gatekeepers, right? Not so fast. Here’s part three in this series on romance as a genre…
Bad Romance part 2: The romance genre needs better critique, not more gatekeepers
Though romance novels have always centered relationships and women, there’s no argument that issues of consent and coercion abound in the genre's shady past. Consider the conflicted relationships readers have with Kathleen Woodwiss’ The Flame
and the Flower, a novel that is said to have started the modern “bodice ripper” romance genre. Here’s part two analyzing the romance genre in books…
How do I stop my teenage son from pressuring girls into sending nudes?
I have a 13-year-old son who I’ve recently found out has been pressuring a female friend into sending nude photos to him. I’m SO disappointed as I thought I was doing a good job teaching him about enthusiastic consent, legal issues with minors, and framing media news in a teachable way. But I’m going wrong somewhere. Do any of you have any advice or resources for dealing with this?
My husband and I haven’t had sex, not even on our wedding night
I have been married for almost two years now, together for 11 years. But… my husband doesn’t want sex at all — not for the past four years. To clarify: We have not had sex, not even on our wedding night.
I can’t do this anymore. What should I do? Am I wasting my time? I need help.
How to have more sex when all you do is work
Couples vary wildly in the amount of sex they have. The American average for couples is somewhere around three to four times a month (last I heard). That sounds awfully low, doesn’t it? But lots of people are happy with it. If you only have sex on the weekends, you’re practically at, or exceeding, the American average.
But if you’re not, and you want to have more sex, here’s my advice…
The sacred jack-off: taking masturbation to a whole new weird level
I was talking to a married friend recently, and she was all, “Look, it’s cool that so many people are exploring forms of polyamory, but that’s not me and that’s not my marriage. I want to find new ways to expand my sexual experiences that AREN’T other people.”
And I was all, “Fuck yes — have you tried doing, like, a sacred jack-off?”
And she was all, “Did you make this up?”
And I was all, “Pssht. No.”
The future of marriage is SO GAY: Eavesdropping on a human sexuality professor, Part 3
When I was in New York last month, I sat down for a chat with a friend of a friend who’s a professor of Human Sexuality. Hunter Kincaid is an visiting lecturer at Hunter College and an adjunct professor at Pratt University, and we met up to muse over about how anal sex is like homeschooling, the […]
The ethics of asking consent before you cry on a first date: Eavesdropping on a human sexuality professor, Part 2
Can we talk about consent? A lot of us are hyper aware of consent around physical acts, like, “Oh I’m doing this. Is that okay? Do you like this? Do you like that? Are you okay with me doing this? Is that too hard?” Last night on a date, I got into an interesting discussion about crying during sex and whether that’s something you should seek consent for…