How do you avoid passing down your own phobias to your kids?
I’ve also spent almost my entire life terrified — and I mean TERRIFIED — of bugs. I’m planning to become a mom in the next couple of years, and now I’m worried that this fear will make it hard to be a good mom. How do offbeat mamas balance their paralyzing fear of things with the need to take care of their little ones?
I had less than 24 hours to decide if I wanted to be a parent
On Tuesday, August 14th, at 1:00 p.m., I went into my OBGYN’s clinic to get myself checked out, and walked away two-and-a-half hours later with the biggest shock I have ever known: I was pregnant, and half of my pregnancy had already gone by. I had no symptoms, continued having a period every month, and never experienced any weight gain. But none the less, I was going to be a mother. And I had one night to decide if I was ready to change my life, forever.
Family planning is personal: I’m learning to stop asking questions about what other people are doing
“When ya gonna start makin’ babies?” Almost all of us in our late twenties and thirties are used to being asked this regularly. Yet I’ve been amazed at how intrusive the questions and comments can be, and how often something as personal as parenthood is treated like small talk.
I’ve gone from Child-Free to confused and now I’m grossed out
In the break rooms at work, over lunch, next to coffee pots or in store aisles while shopping for high gloss paint, I have proclaimed with unwavering conviction to at least a hundred people: “I never, absolutely never, want kids.” This stance has come to symbolize a lot more than my choice on children: it represents my autonomy, my position in (or not in) various social spheres, and, to some degree, my rejection of conventionality. And thus, my recent confusion about whether or not I want a kid has felt like a lot of very unpleasant things.
Analyzing the costs and benefits of having a kid: is it worth it?
As with all things you want, there is a cost, right? For example, I like my house, so I work to stay in it. Now that I’m thinking about having a kid… I’m wondering: what are the costs, and what are the benefits?
How did your baby change your life?
I’m way past the age where everyone I know is getting pregnant. At 33, I’m at the age where many of my friends are having their second child and dealing with toddlers. But, for me, this is the age where I’m finally considering having a baby of my own. Considering is not the word. Obsessing. CRAVING.
Did you leave your job and awesome health insurance when you got pregnant?
My husband and I are in our early 30s and we really want to start a family. We got pregnant last August, but sadly had a miscarriage in October. Before becoming pregnant we decided that after the baby’s birth I would quit my job so I could finish my master’s and move on to a doctoral degree. I hate my current job (and I don’t use the word hate lightly!)… but it’s in the same universe as what I want to do, has really great pay, and awesome health insurance. On paper it’s an amazing job, but I find it wholly unsatisfying.
Zoo animals and kids: they’re basically the same thing
My partner and I don’t have kids yet, but we’re trying. As more of my friends squeeze out little bundles of joy, I’m struck by how similar zookeepers and parents really are. For one, we’re both obsessed with poop. Moreover, we take our jobs as caregivers very, very seriously. When you have another life depending on you, it’s time to step up your game. Here are five ways that being a zookeeper will make me a better parent.