Category Archive

grief

Food that FEELS good vs food that just tastes good

As you may have heard, last year I got divorced. One of the big shifts I dealt with after the split was adapting to solo food preparation duties… and in fact, completely relearning my relationship with hunger, food, and nourishing myself.

A big part of this shift was relearning how food feels in my body…

Let’s talk about my article for The Guardian about divorce

Last week The Guardian published an article I wrote about recovering from my divorce called Seven things I wish I’d known before my divorce: an optimistic guide to the future. (For those of you who missed it, here’s my Offbeat Bride post from a few months ago where I was like “Oh yeah, I’m divorced now.)

I’m grieving for the kids that we now can’t have. How do I cope?

We’ve discovered that my mental health isn’t anywhere near as stable as I thought it was. And we had to make the difficult decision to stop trying to get pregnant. I know that this is the right choice to make, for my sanity if nothing else. But I feel like I’m grieving for the life we planned, and the kids that won’t be a part of it. Any advice?

Gifts for a friend going through a divorce, separation, or break-up

The first few weeks of a separation can be fucking intense. The grief, the loss, even a sense of physical pain… it’s weird that something so common is so awful! Offering your ear is the most important thing you can give to any friend experiencing a profound loss or recovering from a trauma, but we get it: sometimes you want to give something more to offer your comfort. Of course you know your friend and their interests best, but here are our suggestions for great gifts for grieving friends.

My wife experienced the death of a student as only a teacher can

My wife is an early childhood and special educator. She works with young students, most of whom are the same age or younger than our youngest daughter. One of those students, one whom she’s championed, advocated for, and supported for almost two years, passed away. The news, and the resulting heartache, are things she never could have prepared for, steeled herself to. The loss of this student has hit her profoundly.

Collectively grieving Newtown, CT

Stephanie and I are both completely devastated by the situation in Newtown, with Stephanie being especially freaked out since she already survived one shooting last week (she and her son were at the mall in Oregon last Tuesday when three people were shot and killed). The two of us have been talking all weekend, and we just don’t have much to contribute to the discussions about Newtown. That said, I do want to provide a place for Offbeat Families to support each other through the grief we’re all experiencing as we emerge from the terrible events of last week…

Pain and happiness: my mom died five weeks before the birth of my daughter

My mother died five weeks before I gave birth. Most people’s birth stories begin when they go into labor, but my mothers death and the birth of our child are still inseparable in my mind. My mother’s death was a tragic accident (carbon monoxide poisoning two days before the baby shower my mother had been planning for eight months) and it landed my father in the hospital. I always expected my mother to be here for the birth of our baby and the compounded loss was almost too much to bear.

How can I explain where my deceased daughter is to our future children without bringing up religion?

Our first child passed away at five months of age due to cancer. Just because she is no longer physically with us does not mean that she is not in our everyday life. How can I make the afterlife a non-scary place for a child without the clouds and harps?