Why a mother with a disability chose to bring a daughter with Down syndrome into the world
Although I’ve had a disability since I was four years old (that we know of anyway), I was mainstreamed at all times. In my family, “disability” was something reserved for people who used wheelchairs. Saying I tried to “pass” and fit in among the non-deaf, non-disabled is like saying the Pope is Catholic. When I found out my daughter would be born with Down syndrome, my world crumbled.
How do you talk to your kid about differences?
My daughter is growing up with parents who have a strong judgement-free policy, but we don’t have the ability to introduce her to every type of person in the world. How are you explaining differences (physical, mental, racial, etc.) to your children?
Beautiful Freak: The Eels, my daughter, and me
[My daughter] Schuyler has always loved music, which is no surprise given that she’s been surrounded by it from day one, and I’ve always sung to her. The other day, we were singing an Eels song, Beautiful Freak. “Daddy,” she asks, “Am I a freak?”
8 tips for coming to terms with “bad” genetic testing results
At 16 weeks pregnant, I had a (fairly) routine blood test done. Two days later, my midwife called and said that based on the results, the baby I was carrying had an elevated risk of having Down’s syndrome. We scheduled a sonogram with fetal and maternal health specialists and a genetic counselor for two days later. Nothing was found, but they asked us to come back a month later because they were having difficulty getting good images of the baby’s heart. We leave happy that our risk has been downgraded, and come back a month later.
Does my special needs daughter really eat lunch alone every day?
It began with a simple question at the grocery store last night. We were choosing all the pieces for Schuyler’s lunch and were trying to change things up a little. We wanted to get her some new drinks but were unsure if she would be able to open the bottles. Schuyler’s polymicrogyria has some big features and some small ones, and one of its less frightening but still annoying impairments involves her fine motor skills. We asked her if she thought she would be able to open the bottle. She said she thought so, but still seemed a little unsure.
Because few things are better than two dads in matching shirts holding matching babies
Alan and Brian have been married for years and have always dreamed of starting a family. They took matters into their own hands and found a surrogate in India. They were more than pleasantly surprised when they learned that she was pregnant with twins. The pair has recently returned to New York City from India with their son and daughter in tow — and now the family is complete.
The ups and downs of step-and-biological parenting in tandem
Eight years ago I became a stepmother to two kids. We share their care with their biological mother — they’re half with us, half with her. At the time, my step-son was eight and my step-daughter was four. Step-parenting has by turns been the most awesome and the hardest shit I’ve done in my life — it is second only to having my “own” child. Here are a few of my positive (and negative) experiences.
How can we explain his brother’s autism to our four-year-old son?
My stepson, A, is 11 and autistic, and my younger son, M, is four. M has just started to question why A isn’t “like his friend’s big brother.” When M asked “Why won’t A play with me? Does he not like me?” it struck us that we really didn’t know how to explain autism in a way that a four-year-old would understand.