Category Archive

death

Dont Ever give Up Who you are for Enybody: Getting to know the man my father was

Even as adults, we are unable see our parents clearly because of the lingering distortions created by our childhood views of them. I am unable to separate who Daddy actually was as a person from the role he played in my earliest memories. I have not fabricated a filter to tint my perspective; I just don’t allow myself a critical vantage point.

Let’s talk about baby memorial tattoo ideas

I had my first miscarriage June 21, 2011 at 16 weeks. My second miscarriage was April 15, 2012 at 11 weeks. I want memorial tattoos for my babies. I’d love to know what ideas you guys have for memorial tattoos, and what some of you have used in the past.

Collectively grieving Newtown, CT

Stephanie and I are both completely devastated by the situation in Newtown, with Stephanie being especially freaked out since she already survived one shooting last week (she and her son were at the mall in Oregon last Tuesday when three people were shot and killed). The two of us have been talking all weekend, and we just don’t have much to contribute to the discussions about Newtown. That said, I do want to provide a place for Offbeat Families to support each other through the grief we’re all experiencing as we emerge from the terrible events of last week…

Beauty in sadness: reflecting on the hospice in which my mother passed away

My mother, an RN since 1968, was a pioneer of childbirth education in the 1970s, 80s and 90s. She was one of the first people in Texas to ever teach Lamaze as an alternative to childbirth while under anesthesia (the status quo of the 1970s). She earned her Masters in Nursing while my brother and I were in high school. She wrote hundreds of articles about comfort methods during pregnancy and childbirth, about exercise during pregnancy, and childcare in the first year of life. When she was admitted to Christus Sister Mary Hospice on September 21, 2012, she had spent the last five months in hospitals and skilled nursing facilities battling heart valve failure and congestive heart failure.

What I have learned about adoption, family and myself since the death of my birth mother

I am adopted. For me, it’s just normal. It’s not something I’m ashamed of or anything I have ever had a problem with. I’ve always known I was adopted and had quite a few peers and friends who are also adopted so there was no stigma. It was a closed adoption and at the time the identity of the woman who gave me up for adoption was not disclosed. That woman has recently passed away which has led me to look back and consider what it has meant to me to be adopted and look at the relationship we have had.

Pain and happiness: my mom died five weeks before the birth of my daughter

My mother died five weeks before I gave birth. Most people’s birth stories begin when they go into labor, but my mothers death and the birth of our child are still inseparable in my mind. My mother’s death was a tragic accident (carbon monoxide poisoning two days before the baby shower my mother had been planning for eight months) and it landed my father in the hospital. I always expected my mother to be here for the birth of our baby and the compounded loss was almost too much to bear.

How can I explain where my deceased daughter is to our future children without bringing up religion?

Our first child passed away at five months of age due to cancer. Just because she is no longer physically with us does not mean that she is not in our everyday life. How can I make the afterlife a non-scary place for a child without the clouds and harps?

An old soul, a new soul, and a four-footed soul

Diana and her husband experienced a string of family losses and injuries while expecting their first child, but gained a surprising new furry friend in the process.