3 secrets for learning the language of money in relationships
It’s no secret that one the most contentious issues in many relationships is money. It truly does make the world — and our lives — go ’round. Money also doesn’t discriminate as to who its issues affect; it influences partnerships between people of any age, race, gender, background, or income level. I’m by no means an expert on relationships or money, as I’m sure Dr. Phil and Suze Orman could tell quickly given the chance. But I am someone who’s had to examine her own financial values in the context of her relationship. I’ve had to work with my husband to cultivate shared ideas and practices for our life together. The following tenets are a product of my six years of learning, compromise, and growth…
4 secrets for surviving a long-distance friendship
This March, my best friend packed up her life in Massachusetts, and she, her husband, and their two dogs set off on an adventure to Hawaii. So what do you do when one of your besties moves 5,000 miles away? It took a little while, but over the past several months we’ve figured out some ways to stay connected.
What to say to a formerly child-free person who is now pregnant
I am a self-professed child-free lady. A fellow child-free friend recently announced she was unexpectedly pregnant. I can tell she’s feeling pretty rattled and struggling with the sudden change in life plans. As a fellow child-freer in a similarly stable life situation, I want to empathize and be there for her and give her a break from all the squee-ing, but I don’t want to be a downer. What can I say to her?
How to share BDSM with a vanilla partner
I wanted my man to be assertive and to take charge. I wanted to be swept off my feet by our romantic encounters. Malik, however, is a sub. He wanted me to take charge. He wanted me to be commanding, to dominate him. I had no experience with that whatsoever. He wanted to be paddled, blindfolded, gagged. And he wanted to do all of this with me. If your partner wants you to try something new, be it anal play, bondage, role play, ice cubes, or anything else, here are a few tips I learned from exploring the world of BDSM as a vanilla partner.
BDSM in mainstream media: Why I taught my kids about safe words
Kinky sex has made its way into mainstream culture in places other than poorly written erotica-gone-NYT-bestsellers-list. Music videos like Rihanna’s S&M, Christina Aguilera’s Not Myself Tonight, for instance. Our kids are seeing it, hearing and some of them are even reading the book. I anticipate that the majority of learning on the topic will not be from me but they’ll likely see videos and ads, or hear things from peers that could use some context, and I prefer to be the person who provides that context.
How do I tell my parents about my sterilization?
I don’t want to go into surgery, even day surgery, without telling my parents. But at the same time I don’t want to hurt them or have them try to change my mind. How do I tell my parents that I’m getting a tubal ligation? Anyone else have to go through something like this?
Not just for toddlers: Instigate time outs for roommates
We all, at one point in our lives, have lived with someone who we sometimes can not stand. Chores, curfews, cooking, bathroom space, they all come with challenges. Challenges and disagreements that can lead to arguments, which can lead to anger. The simplest and most effective solution I have found is something that is commonly believed to be only for young children: the concept of “time outs.”
5 point plan for quitting a job when they don’t want to let you go
It’s been several wonderful years, and now I have to steel myself, grit my teeth, and quit my job so I can work on my own goals of development. With that in mind, here’s my five point plan to quitting my job when they don’t want to let me go…